Its difficult to keep back tears,
When all I do is cry,
But this time i want to be strong,
This time I want to try.

Each song I hear it multiplies,
My heartache and my pain,
but without music in my soul,
I start going insane.

Ill sing myself a lullaby,
To help me sleep tonight,
but instead of restful melody,
I get another fight.

The battle just keeps raging on,
Its tearing me apart,
Though the sound keeps me together,
The lyrics break my heart.

I am drowning,
Without any water,
Just waves of loneliness;
As soon I see the shore,
I get pulled back,
By the angry waves,
Drown they say,
Give up,
Let go,
You shall find relief that way.
The faster I swim,
The more I feel,
Claws and teeth at my feet,
The sadness biting into my soul,
I am drowning in this flood,
Howling,
Howling they are,
All for my blood.
My net has a giant tear,
My boat has a huge hole,
And my anchor,
Isn't holding me down,
Does anyone care?
The tentacles are on my neck,
I can't breathe,
Is it a sin to want,
To want to drown,
For I have forgotten the air,
How my head feels above the water,
Tell me,someone,
Anyone,
Do I matter?

You held my hands in your own
You looked down and saw the scars on my palms
And then looked me in the eyes and asked, "who hurt you?"
I quietly replied, "everyone who said they wouldn't."

I often think about escaping
from this world that makes me cry.
I often think about escaping
from this world that is filled with crime.
I often think about escaping
from this world that cuts my wings
and doesn't let me fly.
I often think about escaping,
and how it would feel to say
            goodbye
                            and
                                              die.

Please come back,
You are my need,
Not my want.
15/8/2019

You no longer have love for me
This is a fact thats very plain to see
The only time that you come around
Is when you're scared or your chips are down
Whenever I express a need for you
Seems there's nothing that you're willing to do
So now that we both are fully aware
That I'm the fool and you don't care
This must be the end of days
Where we both go our separate ways
As much as I still love you so
Your love for me has ceased to grow
Now that I know that bitter truth
I'm stripped of all the dreams from my youth

I'm jealous of the rain
It gets close to you
Closer than I ever will
It touches your skin
It combs your hair
It comes when you're sad
It stays when you're happy
I love you but you don't love me
So I say
I'm jealous of the rain