Secret Whispers

Secret Whispers Oct 2018

At the time it seemed easier to run away
Than to fix our differences and just stay.
It has shaped me into the person that I am today,
But I know my damage cannot be fixed with everything that I say.

I understand the damage I made cuts further than what meets the eye,
Believe me I’ve experienced this first-hand so by now I realize
That nothing good can come from these brittle lies.

I am sorry.

Just as I have had toxic people in my life, I’ll be the first to admit that I was once toxic in someone else’s.

#brittle #lies #apologize #notperfect #human #sorry #cry #hurt

Secret Whispers Oct 2018

Stay

“So that’s it? You’re just letting me go?”

I’m not just “letting you go”,
You see... you chose to do so.
It started off subtle, slow.
I will not intercept with your flow.

Don’t get comfortable, you won’t stay.
It might hurt, be as it may,
I’ll get going and be out of your way.

Someone once told me that my biggest flaw is that I do not give second chances.

#goodbye #proud #flaw #second #chances #nonexistant

Secret Whispers Sep 2018

Dream

It seems crazy how much I love and hate the night,
I cannot fall asleep so instead I choose to write.
If I fall asleep I have these dreams where we’re together and we never fight.
If these dreams were our reality then maybe we could have gotten it right.

We laugh, we dance
I wish I could bring myself to give you another chance.
But I know that we need to keep our distance
Because we both know how soul damaging it can be to live in coexistence.

It’s best if we keep our distance.

#damage #dream #coexistance #soul #distance

Sep 2018

Noone

That one night...

I know my texts don't excite you anymore,
But you are polite enough to reply it anyway
And if I call you, you'll receive it too
But I know you cringe when you hear my voice
Just for the night , you needed me
Just for that one night
The night's already over
But I m not over you yet

I remember everything, so clearly in my head
How beautifully you sang, & I sang along with you
How you made me laugh, laugh & laugh so hard
How you held my hands & we tried to dance
How your lips blew life to my cold and dry spirit
How the butterflies in my stomach fluttered
How my cheeks turned crimson and I looked away
But you kept on staring at me
Like you wanted to fall in love...

I did not undress my body that night,
I undressed my soul
I put it right in front you
Just in its purest form
I let you see me,
See all my imperfections
I told you all my fears,
The secrets I hid inside,
I thought this is it,
This is what I had been looking for,
My soul was happy
And thought it had found "THE ONE"

Little did I know, it was only for the night
Just for that one night
So tell me who do I blame?
Blame you for setting up my hopes high
Or blame me for believing the truth like lie
Or should I just blame the night?
The night for lasting just awhile.......

Secret Whispers Sep 2018

Liar

You were never really interested in the real me,
Perhaps you were enamored with the idea of who I could be.

“Could she be a dancer, a painter, or a combination of both?
Perhaps I can still get to her through her season of growth.
To prove it to her, I’ll swear myself under oath.”

After months of not paying you any mind, I decided to give you a try.

A decision I would later regret.
But a memory I can never forget.

#memory #forget #feelings #poem #soothing #handholding #regret

Secret Whispers Sep 2018

Papá

Papá, I’m sorry for all the wrong turns I’ve made along the road,
When help and support was all you showed.

You tried to warn me that the world can be cold,
But I become weak and so I fold.
You teach me to be righteous and bold,
But I find a way to cope.. and you know the rest.. it’s the same old..

And I know it’s not fair,
I can’t let you see me this way even though you say you’re always there.
Please, be aware.
I’m smiling now, I don’t want to give you a scare..
Papá bear.

Not everything is what it seems to be. I’m sorry, I’m trying..

“Hay mucha maldad en la vida, Hija. Tienes que ponerte lista.”

#papa #scare #sad #fair #same #old #smile #caved #in #sorry

Secret Whispers Sep 2018

Haunting

I gave you all of my trust,
and what I got in return was a slap to the face.
You convinced me that you were fine taking things at my pace.
You convinced me to go back to your place.
Where my soft skin with your soft fingers you would trace.
You happily took me in your embrace.
And now I can’t seem to erase...
your face.

Vulnerability.
Written: September 20, 2018

#raw #anxiety #truth #rupi #kaur #heartbreak #exhausting #haunting #demons #soft