withdrawing from a near-fatal embrace
how does it feel?
to brush precariously
at the edge of something
to find the void
greeting you instead.
curled at waist height
to the belt loops of jeans
or smushed into pockets,
waiting for another
chance to extend again.
there in the throes of night
unclenching, reclenching fists lay,
will the next time will be different
how will it feel?
body like a Hoplite,
raised from the dust to lay the land-
ashen spear and heart,
trunks of armour clad legs
growing into the clay coloured Earth
these lyre-heartstrings taut with longing.
a browbeaten Myrmidon,
watch, as the breath of Zeus escapes
concave with muscle
Olympus itself exists within those crevices.
i lay offerings,
ambrosia soaked spoken word
at the under-flesh of your calf
laying beside myself
in hope the whispers bestowed to you from the Fates
on the eve of Troy
mean less with your lips, pressed to wine, against mine.
made for times of sadness,
when listened to
in the sunlight.
“have you ever felt love?” he asked
last one for the night
like an atmosphere.
in the communal
mountains of concrete
brown brick office blocks
blockaded high street shops
council housing kingdoms.
taking potshots at metal
goalposts slicked with
the rain and scabbed spray paint
till the olders kick us aside
basketballs in hand
for freethrows from the poverty line.
love like marble
too cold and rich to touch
in fear that it’d turn out to be *****
like two boys
looking at each other for too long
can leave stains no amount of febreze can air out.
i still can’t sleep in your arms
but you never stop searching for me
all there is left to do
myself be found.
I grew up in East London. This is how I want to commemorate my leaving it.
he who reaches into
the core of a heart
abcdefghijklm(full of words)abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
opqrsabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyztuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabc(too scrambled to say) abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuv(in a misguided)abcdefghijklmn
to decipher what this meant to you anyway.