I thought I was the one
But I was just a someone.
I thought I am perfect
But I was just a freak.
I thought I made you glad
But I was the one who's sad.
I thought I made you smile
But I can't see it because it takes a mile
I thought I filled your heart
But it was just an act
I thought you care
But that was just rare
And I thought you love me full of passion
But it was just a love full of poison.

All these thoughts ruined me
All these thoughts destroyed me
All these thoughts broke me
Because I thought my thoughts are true
And I was wrong because they're just a false clue.

"You will always be on my mind, dreaming and thinking of you."
He said.
Dear love, he never thought of me.

"I will never forget you even when my memory fades."
He said.
Dear love, he has forgotten me.

"I will always be there to look after you."
He said.
Dear love, he never cared for me.

"I am always by your side, comfort and support you no matter what."
Dear love, he has abandoned me.

"I will stay with you, forever."
He said.
Dear love, he left me.

"I love you."
He said.
Dear love, He never loved me.

Pain destroys me,
That I have to let it be.
Realization flee,
Like a jailbird begging for a plea.

But I have to bid my last goodbye,
Even if everyone will get hurt, so am I.
Because this mundane place always makes me blue,
I must say that, this is my last adieu.

From the distance I see a Ferris wheel full of lights.
An amazing thing to ride if you want to see the sights.
It shines like stars on a dark cloudless nights.
And spins like a hurricane slowly losing its might.
Would you come with me and ride sometime?
Together let us own the world for a penny and a dime.

Do you ever wish that you could fly?
Where would you ever go and why?
To the countryside where the flowers bloom,
Or to the rainy plains where the sky is gloom?
Would you pick some flowers and lie on the grass,
Or sip some coffee while leaning on window glass?
Maybe fly to a place, far and high
Where the stars shine bright and the sky is nigh.
Maybe fly to a place where the grass is lush,
Where the horses are free to roam and dash.
Where is it that you truly desire to go?
Where your heart will be free only you can really know.
-
Where would you ever go if you could fly?
Who would you take with you, where and why?

Most have already experienced it
Like the sun's burning heat
The spark when you saw someone
That makes you think He's the one.

The goosebumps
The heart's humps
That makes your heart win the race.
But of course...
There will always be a source
A source that will destroy the force
A force that may lead to scorch.

You saw me
You smiled at me
You texted me
Like a bite of bee
It hurts...
It burns...
Thoughts that still echoing on my mind
That you aren't kind
That you are evil
Like a devil
That always wants trouble
To make problems double.

You gave me a love potion
That made my heart poisoned
You left me hanging
Like an open door banging
And I held the door
That keeps screeching on the floor
I knew it
In just a little bit

I saw you
I looked at you
And for the second time
It happened
Not love
But hate
At second sight.

The night I waited for your answer,
But seems your mind is in nowhere.
The moment I longed for your responses,
But you ignored it like a running off ball bounces.

Tears flowed in ounce,
Pain like a boxer punches.
Should I wait knowing what would happen?
Or should be hopeless like a crying maiden?
Maybe for you I don't have value,
But forever, I will cherish precious moments I spent that time with you.

Have you ever lost while wondering?
Ideas occurring
Imagination keeps flowing
And little did you know, you're losing.
Triggered anxiety
Wandered in mediocrity.

I wondered.
Am I the only one who see shadows in the darkness?
Am I the only one who see stars in daylight?
Am I the only one who smell lavenders in a trash?
Am I the only one who feel touches in a bunch of hands?
And am I the only one who see the lies behind the truth?

If so, It might be a nightmare
That no one else dare to wake in a room full of care
Because they were deceived
And makes them believed
By their minds full pests
Living in their brain like a bird's nest.
That they were neat
In a trash full of rotten meat.

Truth lies on you
You just have to be true
Because even reality
Can cause anxiety.

Its always been the same old story everyday,
The looping routine like movie scenes on replay,
Everything feels bland, dull and uninteresting,
God, I just wish for a change so thrilling.

It's always the same mistake
In every second, every minute actions I make
Everything has been controlled by anxiety
I wondered, when will my fears vanish and make things confidently.

This solitary life is a mess I want to flee
To leave it all behind, someone please take me
I'm left standing at a crossroads, waiting for that twist
Regardless of how long, for someone I don't want to miss

But seems I was blinded coz I can't see the light,
Or was I just looking for someone without noticing my might?
Standing in the rainy plains where the sky is gloom,
While hoping for someone to reach my hand in a place where I could be doomed.

I hope to find you soon, pull you out of that dreaded fate
I'll be the one to quench your thirst, I hope I'm not too late
Someday we'll be together proud shouting each others names
And feels euphoria that we found each other in flames.

Do you not know that your smile is a treasure?
    A precious stone,
    A piece of gold.
Laugh,
    Let your heart fill with joy.
    For you deserve to happy.
    You deserve to be free.

Do you not know that you deserve so much more
     Than a broken heart,
     Than a broken soul?
Cry,
     Let your eyes fill with tears.
     Not out of sorrow nor out of grief,
     But of overwhelming joy.

Do you not know that you deserve nothing less?
     For your heart is full of love.
     For you are always willing to give.
Live,
Hope for the best.
You deserve to be happy, you deserve nothing less.

How can silence be so loud?

It's Monday. A very lazy day.
I am glued to my bed, I couldn't even move a leg!
What has my bed done to me? I am paralyzed. Help, I've been meaning to get up!

Sadly, my bed just wouldn't allow me.
I wonder, what the door **** feels when you rotate it, does it still feel cold?
I can hear the leaves falling and brushes to each other while the trees dancing by the wind, I can hear the birds chirping and singing my favorite melody.

As I lay here, contemplating what the day awaits for me, I find comfort in my very own bed while enjoying the view and sound of the nature from my window pane.
Perhaps, for now, I'll let the warmth of my bed embrace me a little longer, knowing that when I finally rise, the world outside will still be waiting with it's challenges and mysteries, ready to greet me anew.

The story of us is the inception,
Where you found me dying in poison.
You cured me with your love potion,
And forever, I will believe my notion.

Like a lost girl in the forest,
Would you find me at your best?
Missing in the middle of darkness
While crying to see the moon's vividness.

Like a missing child hoping to be found,
You saw me lying on the ground
In your arms I felt an eternal bound,
And at last, I am safe and sound.

You said, "I will take you to my castle,
And together we'll fight the toughest battle",
But that seems just a lie
Because you put me in danger and let me die.

Felt I was loved, but I woke up it's just a pantomime
And I remember,
That not all happily ever after
Begins with, "Once upon a time".

Like a song on the radio let me listen to your voice,
A sweet, soft melody that erases the noise.
Sing to me once more as I lay down my head.
Not to sleep, but to listen carefully instead.
But sometimes I wonder what you're singing to me...
Is it a lullaby?
a love song?
Or a farewell?

Now I tell you
the truth
That you are
not the reason
why I write poems
about you.

What does it feel like you can't utter just a single word?
How does it feel like you can't express it through words?
Am I born to be in this way?
Or
Am I born because I'm unlucky enough to live a better life?

You are very blessed to speak out your heart what you want to
You are very blessed you can express what you feel
And you are very blessed that someone's hearing you r precious voice

I looked at the world full of people
Like an aquarium full of pebble
Hoping to hear their loud voices
And even their deafening angry noises.

I asked...
Why is God unfair?
Why didn't He created me like others
Why is God unfair?
That He didn't give me voice to utter
Is this really what He wants me to be?
To be mocked by everyone?
To be ignored when you need someone?
It's so hard.

I stare at them
And they looked at me
They're all smiling
Like a bright star shining
I wanna own them
Like a precious gem
Then someone asked
And I want to answer back
But I'm afraid
That they might hear my words fade
I'm afraid
That they might just hear noise
Not words
But just works.

I responded
I swallowed
I tried my best to speak
But hum is all I ever give
I tried my best to talk
But all I received was a mock
This is it.
Like I was hit
This what scares me
Like someone's dragging me.

I walked out
In a room full of bad mouth
Criticism started to spread out
Judgments like I'm in a trial court
I wanna say something
I wanna scream
But all I can do is crying
Is this a dream?
'Coz I can't wake
Like I was drowning in the deepest lake
My heart's clenching
Like a furious fist punching
Is this really where I belong to be?
In the world full of an enemy?
Is this where I really have to be?
In a place full of greedy?

I cried.
"Coz I'm tired
I want to die
Because the world seems a lie.
I can't even speak my heart out
So what's the point of my existence?
If I can't even express my feelings out?
I want t make friends
But all I ever received is an examen
Can't they just accept me?
Like I'm no different?
Without worries
Without problems.

But I think this is really the way I am
Thinking that I am one of them
Accepting for what I am
That I am just an emblem
To get the precious gem
Thanking God because I'm here
Even though I can't hear
Waves of laughter that I want to cherish
But all I see is perish
I know that I am precious
Like a diamond's luminous
Produces very bright color
That I wish I can be too.

Yes, I can't fly like a dove
But my heart is full of love
That all I can give to everyone
That refused to give to someone

I may not hear
But I will always be here
I may not speak
But your words are in my heart stick
Even the world is full of disagreements
But I know I'm a gift of encouragement.

I want you to express all things,
That always produces sound like a bell rings.
I want you to make an emblem,
And that is to write me a poem.

Write me a poem
About how you met me sudden
How your smile left me hangin'
Like I'm in a garden
Stunned with butterflies flyin'

Write me a poem
How we fought at 2 am
Leaving the house in burden
Like crying for a lost gem
Wishing that never happened.

Write me a poem
How you tried to make me smile
Just to forgive your crying eyes
Even if your effort takes a mile
You never said goodbye.

I want to hear your voice
That always produces melody
Even if to others it's a noise,
But for me it's an exquisite harmony.

Think of me
Like a precious gem,
And you'll see,
You can write me a poem.