It's not too late
To love

I know what dying to self is
It's a metamorphosis
But it's not pretty

It's a dissolution of everything you were
And all you planned to become
Burning in wild flames all your disguises
To get to the heart of who you truly are
And what you need to be

Because this world needs people
Who can welcome change
People who can allow God
To strip them bare
Until you have nothing left to cling to
When you're destitute
That's when you'll be free
From all this vain striving in our society

I once was strong but now I'm weak
I'm tattered, torn a part, barely able to speak
But I feel so real now
Before my mind was a machine
Trying to calculate how I would acquire everything I want and need
But now I have peace
Because I trust,
That whatever may be
I have the strongest ally beside me
Though I don't agree with religious ideas of God
I believe God's unadulterated love
Is always guiding me
Whispering ever so softly,
"Listen to me."
I want others to have this love for themselves
To know they are perfectly loved,
And love has a way of healing things radically
Some would even say miraculously.

and i love him

voice. intoxicate me with the sweetness that drips from your words, i cling to it.
eyes. your eyes hold me, dark and deep, a beautiful unknown world of exploration inside.
bones. the gorgeous outline under your skin creates a sculpture to me. your airy shadows reflect, absolute art.
hair. from that thick dark whirlwind, a twisted storm, perfectly placed on your head, down to midnight strands across your jaw.
mind. your deep sea, let me dive in, see the mystical creatures and mysteries that lie in the dark. i want the shining soft surf along with your torrential tidal waves.
oh my soul glows for you, lighting my heart up fully.
and i love you, absolutely.

You are like the Moon.
You reign over the vast sky,
shining brightly, radiating beautifully.
And I feel like one of the Stars surrounding you;
loving you dearly in silence.

As you became my night's dream,
you felt real.
You were real.
Your gaze; your smile.
Your warmth; your touch.
Your voice; your breathing.

I reverted back to reality
with my heart pounding, blissfully beating.

Then I gaze back at the Sky
patiently waiting for the Moon
--patiently waiting for You.

I had a relapse
Last night I stayed awake
Staring at the ceiling
Seconds felt like hours
Half consciousness
was messing with my feelings
As hours did pass, all I saw
Were the shadows mimicking your features
A war broke out inside my heart
I was fighting my own creatures
I had a relapse
Just when I gathered enough strength
To stop thinking about you
Thinking of your eyes, so cold...so blue
Imagining your voice screeching out my name
Pulling at my hair knowing it's all inside my brain
I had a relapse
When I finally resolved myself to hate you so
To hate your eyes and hate your voice
The hours bled out and And all I felt
Was your absence made a hole inside my soul
And how I feared that I'd never once again
be fully whole.
I had a relapse.
I love you, and I always will
I love your eyes, your smile and voice
Your laugh still gives me chills
And I'm afraid that I cant run away
No matter where..I'll hear your name
And tomorrow I'll relapse again
And while I stay awake
Nothing will take away the ache
I'll spend every second wondering
if you knew
That I'd spend every night
For the Rest of my life
Still thinking about you

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

I feel like I'm drowning
All alone, no help in sight
Find myself constantly scowling
Though I try to smile with all my might.

Waves of sorrow drag me down
To the depths of cold agony
Feelings are an ocean I tread with no sound
I'm trying to swim yet I sink to the bottom of this miserable sea.

Planes rust when left on the ground
For they were meant to fly,
Hearts break from time to time,
To question the purpose of this thing called life
Men stumble occasionally,
To stand back up and grow stronger.

You see, everything truly does happen for a reason,
You just have to dig deep,
Dig deeper than before,
Look through life with rose colored glasses,
And you’ll see how beautiful is the gift of God.