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Victoria Aug 2020
You know who you are
you come around often enough
for me to know how you play your games
They are tearing me apart.
I am strong, but I am dying.
So sick of the pain
I see the spark in your eyes
as tears fall from mine
I see the smile on your lips
each day that I don't
You give me what I want
for that, I smile
but all we do is sin
for that, I'm scared
It's like you're testing how long it will be
before I break
before I shatter
so you can finally say
I'm yours forever
you will hold me
broken and bleeding

Until then I will fight
with every ounce of my being
to not become you
to not let you claim my soul
Victoria Aug 2020
I hop over her toes like rocks in the river
keeping me steady and dry
I tiptoe over her shin like a fallen tree
connecting a crack in the valley
I stride up her thigh, like climbing a sand dune
I stare up at the face I'm so desperately trying to reach
Exhausted I fall asleep in the crook of her hip bone
preparing for the rest of the ascend
I wake to climb her ribs like rungs on a ladder
and scramble up to her collarbone seat
I sit there a moment and look at the body
I'd just explored on feet.
I stand on her shoulder
and walk up to her ear
start planting thoughts in her mind
soon enough this giant will faint
and become my collapsed playground

Though she is so tall
and I am so small
not many can fight my words

Look at her

She's already put the fork down
Victoria Aug 2020
The ghost of yesterday
lingers in the air
whispers barely heard
they were still there
an echo on the wind
a brush against the skin
a life is gone
the devil finally wins
Victoria Aug 2020
My mind has scars just like my skin
reminders of who I've been
but the pain it comes from deep within
from the images I've seen
memories from who I was
visions of who I may be
the pain is simply there because
none of them I want to be

I want to be that lucky girl
who sees the silver lining
and in her eyes, in her mind
the sun is always shining
I seem to only see the clouds
and get drenched in the rain
but I get something she does not
and that's strength from all the pain
Victoria Aug 2020
Thrown in ice water
It stings my whole body
Numbing my pain
But drowning me nonetheless
The safe hands of my father save me
from the death that was trying to claim me
I thaw to his touch
His love radiates through me
and brings me life
I am so brittle, like a snowflake
And yet in his control I am alive
My fear has melted to a pool of trust
from which my father shall drink
Breath by breath I am close to life
Only in his hands
Only in his hands
Only in my fathers hands, can I breathe.
Victoria Aug 2020
Anger throbs inside me
Like hot stones in the pit of my stomach
Burning and glowing a devilish red
Rage surges at my fingertips
creating hands that burn
Throwing and screaming and crying for hours
No relief from these hot stones
more fists, more punches, more screaming
nothing comes from this rampage
Dignity is lost, rationality is gone
the only thoughts are physical
Madness bunches the muscles in my arms and legs
building tension for the blow
loud clashes heard from afar
and still the hot stones are alive
You can't make me do anything
Go on, hit me
I'll hit you back
and with these hot stones I will not stop
until they are only an ember
a faint light in the darkness of regret
Victoria Aug 2020
A drop of regret
in a pool of passion.
A grain of guilt
on a beach of desire.
Touch is intoxicating
Breath is enthralling
Heat is enticing
Painful shocks that consume me
A bite may hurt but pain is passion,
and shows there are things you cannot control.
Your teeth on my neck
Your nails on my back
Showing desire of another level
Just take me
Make me yours
Command my touch
Demand my passion
Don't bother asking
Don't be considerate
Don't be sweet
Be a man
Make me yours
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