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356 · May 2018
The Fall
Tifa May 2018
Lights of a never risen sun
Darkness all around my pain
All what I have dreamt of is gone
There is nothing there to be living for
Self blame and shame silently speak
What doesn't **** me when spoken
Kills me inside my brain
All the glory I had building a palace
Of love and tears in the sweetest balance
Mad thoughts don't blow but shrinks
I'm a piece of wood in ocean sinks
Everything I once had ends right now
The lights goes off and eyes open wide
My heart grows thorns with no plough
There is nothing to be afraid of, there is no more anything to hide
All cards are flipped and the queens of hearts all die in my mind
I have once hated myself and people
And now angels are also looked down at
Because of you I now believe in evil
You've held my heart with claws of a cat

And now that you make me sad
And now that I am all alone
I will cry no more
Though my eyes refuse to dry
And my heart does not let go
And my mind is reaping my soul
And death's job is done before done
As my life is gone before I'm gone
I knocked on my heart's door
There is no one inside at all
Everyday we all from heaven fall
It's a repeated act that you direct
And make me fall from everything
My hope, myself, my self-respect
To the faithless love
157 · May 2018
Pains grow pains
Tifa May 2018
I am tired of feeling lonely
Don't point your fingers at me
I'm not the one to be blamed
It was the distance I ******

I'm so depressed; I know why.
I built my dreams so far high
I'd given up my old track
And now I cannot go back

I know why you are so upset
I know why you misinterpret
I mean I am not a hopeless case
That needs your healing or grace

My ******* life is not a game
I do not mind wasting it in vain
I found my purpose and it is you
**** all the people who saying no

And all the poets who mind "****"
I don't use papers of yours or ink
I am not that bad, I made a choice
That I will not hear but, your voice

Ask your friends, make complains
Read their quotes, pains grow pains
Act like I have never known you
Fake your care, and feed self-ego

Do, what makes you feel yourself
Hit my head like a ball of golf
Take my heart and squeeze it hard
Splash my tears in your backyard

Treat me like I'm fool and sick
But, don't you ever dare to think
That I can't give you more of love
Because love is that I can forgive

Yeah you get hurt and I get hurt
Do you forgive when I say ****?
It's natural as I feel so messy
How can I live without my kitty?

And life is a kind of hell for me
No land, no friends, no family
I left all things in my milieu
And gave all of myself to you
You care for it more than I do
So please don't leave it all alone
Cuz I can't care for it my own
I'm sorry is not only an apology but requires a lot of self denial.
85 · May 2018
Let go
Tifa May 2018
When you hold on people who wanna leave
You ask them stay, they ask you believe
Though you don't have faith but in them
When contradiction steals light, and mind is dim

When everything you said is overlooked
And everything you feel with smiles is mocked
When they ask you try again and again
When trying is paid for with more pain

So perplexity comes between hearts
And you stand in the mid of faults
Was what you witnessed true or false?
Then you start searching for one clue
That you make sure that THEY left you
Don't hold no more, let them eventually find
That your love for them is one of a kind
I wish I could let go

— The End —