Tia Oct 1
Her
I'm losing her
The her who used to smile
The girl who is full of joy
The woman who used to be happy

She's beginning to lose herself
The one who used to have loads of positivity
The lady who was good at everything
The she who loved to be challenged

She's getting afraid
Starting to hide at the dark
Wanting to just give up
Letting fear eat her up

She's getting tired
Tired of fighting back
Tired of overcoming things
Tired of everything

I'm losing her
The her who radiates
The her who wants to be strong everyday
The her who hates to lose

I'm losing her already
The girl who used to be happy
The girl who just want to be happy
I'm losing her, I'm losing her to sadness
Tia Sep 16
I'm having the same fear again
But yet I don't wanna be comforted
I'm experiencing the same thing again
But yet I don't want you to see me uncollected

I'm having the same heavy breathings again
But yet I don't want you to know how I am unhealed
I'm having the same dreams again
But yet I don't want to tell you in those dreams you visited

I'm standing on the same spot again
But yet I don't want to inform you that even a little I didn't moved
I'm having ghosts of my feelings again
But yet I want to show you to forget is what I tried

It's *******!
******* that I'm in the same mess
It's *******!
******* that I'm in the same madness

It's *******!
******* that I have the same tears!
It's *******!
******* that now I'm looking for the same beer!

Do you know how?
How hard is it not to think of you?
Do you know how?
How I tried to tell my heart not to beat for you?

Do you know how?
How I'm trying to get you off my mind?
Do you know how?
How I'm doing my best not to see you in the crowd?

Do you know how?
How hard I tried to ignore the fact that I miss you?
Do you know how?
How it hurts to force myself not to love you.
When you're trying so hard but it's not enough to make the feelings disappear.
Tia Aug 13
Because in me, there is a wall higher than China's
That I promised no one can get in even if they try hard
It's unbreakable even by the titans
It is made of solid rocks strengthened by thousands of emotions

Years and years of building
Years and years of protecting
Years and years of guarding
And now the heart inside is becoming empty and lonely
Tia Jul 8
Mom
I fell in love
and told you nothing
Because I was afraid of what might happen

Mom
Sorry I didn't say anything
I was so caught up with everything
And now I can't get my self to talking

Mom
I'm getting scared
I am still feeling the pain
And I just want it to go away

Mom
I know this was my fault
I should have made a second thought
Then I might have prevented this broken heart

Mom
Please turn off the lights
Don't initiate a fight
I wouldn't listen even if you're right

Mom
I really want to take away the pain
Just for now can I be mean?
Or just walk underneath the rain?

Mom
Do you think I'm gonna be okay?
Do you think I could take the pain away?
Do you think I can be back to the same me again?
Tia Jun 29
The saddest part is telling you I'm fine
The saddest part is when I can't look into your eyes
The saddest part is me believing it's alright
The saddest part is I can't state what's been on my mind

The hardest thing was not remembering
Cause in my mind, it's all over, they are swirling
It's here and there and I've been trying
Trying so hard to get them off but I can't stop thinking

The most painful is me still holding
Still trying to save what's left but there's nothing
Letting my mind assume that we can go back to the beginning
But I also knew that we can't because the story's end is nearing


The most painful sight is you too is hurting
But we're left no choice we aren't for each other's loving
You are the Sun that shines in the morning
While I am the Moon that hovers darkness in the evening

And the saddest part, the saddest part is me telling you lies
That I'm not hurting, I didn't cry
Not a river when I lay at night
That I am happy and fine and I don't mind
Tia Jun 20
Tonight, I would like to feel the pain
While my eyes cry like a heavy rain
In the middle of the night
Wherein I'm closing all the lights

I'd be going back to the first thing
When everything is fine all is smiling
When my mind is just in peace resting
When nothing breaks my heart, it was the last thing

Then I'd be thinking of the memories
When there is only happiness
When things aren't burning
When hearts aren't hurting

Tonight, I'd be on my way home
In the arms of the only one I know
With the sincerest embrace I will ever have
With the sweetest kiss that I always loved

Tonight, I'd be home finally
Going back to the presence of lonely
Coming home to the hugs of sadness
Kissing the lips of unhappiness
Tia Jun 2
I am so confused on how does love works
Even if I thought of it hard
I still go back in the old definitions and words
But nothing really sunk in my mind

How do we fall for someone?
It's as complicated as finding the right rhyme
It must feel right, good, perfect
Perfect to be in a poem to make meanings

But then, not everything rhymes
Not all is meant to sound nice
But yet they can put meaning to it
And make the imperfect perfect

Opposite attracts, Like poles repel
That's the science law
But then same feather flocks together
That's what philosophers said

You see?
Understanding love is more complicated than science and math
It couldn't be solved by any formula just like that
There's no wise mind, no genius, no protege

We became fools because of it
Weak and vulnerable because of it
****** and **** because of it
All of this for something we can't even define

Love is love
Love is happy
Love is pain
Love is you

But we all contradict these when the rollercoaster started
When things go up, down, upside down
Trying to shake you and see how far you can last
How long will you be able to hold
We knew it but we're still confused right? You with me on this?
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