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592 · Apr 2019
Richard Graydon Apr 2019
Life is beautiful, yet the rain  cries
A man fled and hid under those skies

Running from what he had done wrong
Escaping while the night were long

Shelter appeared under a tree
While time forced life to come and be

Expectations slowed while my blood flowed
Rain poured while the raven  crowed

But it didn’t stop while I was under
The safety of your umbrella
I take a lot of my inspiration from other artist in different medias and this came from a video produced by Jack Stauber on instagram.
233 · Apr 2019
Richard Graydon Apr 2019
His life was sweet, ignorance was bliss
The fruit of his soul ignored, and rotten
He has let you in, blinded by a kiss
You were malicious, but we saw change
You attacked anyone who came close, calling it defence
Such as a ******, and he was your range.
Together you seemed happy
But apart was euphoria
With you he was snappy, but now there peace
You can move away now. I am free.
All you knew was friendship
and  scorched earth
I had put off writing this as I honestly did not have an idea on what to write. I had taken a little bit of inspiration from quotes, one of which I used directly in the poem.
201 · Jun 2019
Richard Graydon Jun 2019
Let the past die with faded memories
Let the future hide behind wishful dreams
And let the present haunt us with our lies
I have a bad habit of thinking of poems at two in the morning. I need new inspiration
196 · Apr 2019
Richard Graydon Apr 2019
Why did you do it, just stop right there
To leave me standing in the cold.
I was scrapped for parts, left all bare
Spending countless nights all alone
Waiting for a sign to free me from that mare
And I try not to fight, but I’ve lost the light
I’ve fallen before, but not like this,
I’ve held my own and built back up
But something is different
It’s some how changed
The pain I once felt has left and drained
Time turns left and the sky turns blue
Dust to dust, an eye for an eye.
I slowly realise. I’d **** for you
I wrote this poem one night when I was alone. I am not bright when it comes to English but poetry is about what comes from the heart, and anyone can talk about that.
Richard Graydon Jul 2019
With the sun radiating down upon us,
And the waves of learning penetrating our ears,
The teacher asked the knowledge defiant,
a simple question.

And with the quarks on their face
and with the oxygen  in their lungs
and with the water on their  tongues
and with the neurones in their brain.
They turn up blank.

A small chuckle enters this closed system,
The omniscient teacher had triumphed,
And his students sat in a void,
With one hand elevated, with more energy,

The teacher turns back
and with the plan in his mind
and the idea in his plan
and the thought in his idea
and the emotion behind his thought

A large grin appearing in the room
The student had displaced the power
He pushed the teacher into a precipitate slump
And responded to the impossible question.

What was the answer?
What was the work behind it?
How did they come to that?
We will never know,  

Physics is pretty boring
I wrote this in two parts to get two different feelings into this but I don’t think it translated well.
159 · Dec 2019
My Plan
Richard Graydon Dec 2019
This pain in my chest, It won’t let me rest.
These thoughts in my head, I’d rather be dead.
My blood in my veins, it just leaves me stains.
Why won’t it admit, I just want to quit.
Just let it die, I don’t want to cry
But this knife in my hand, and what’s no longer my plan
No longer harms me, it only calms me.
It’s my Plan. I didn’t choose what I did but it’s my plan. I didn’t want this but i must live with it. I didn’t think of this but it’s consequences must dance on my mind. Until I find peace, it’s my plan.
144 · Sep 2019
Richard Graydon Sep 2019
Maybe I don’t feel too good
Because when I look at myself
I only see the darkness
So why are other people blinding?

Maybe I don’t feel to well
Because when I question myself
I only find the worst answers
So why does everyone else has a cheat sheet?

Maybe I don’t know anymore
Because I have a knot in my stomach
And it never goes away
So why does everyone feel so good?

Maybe I don’t feel happiness
Because I lost all feeling long ago
And only try to feel pain
So why do you have love?

Maybe I want to die
Because I feel like that I’m not good enough
But that’s just a lie
I just want to leave everyone else.
I think the reason I don’t improve massively is because I write everything first time. Nothing has any planning because emotions only come once.
132 · Jun 2019
Richard Graydon Jun 2019
In time,
I’d learn
Not to love you.
It’s been proven that thinking at night is not healthy. But poetry is, so it balances out.
105 · Sep 2019
My Emotions
Richard Graydon Sep 2019
My emotions are like a waterfall
I always drop from a high to a low
But when I look at it. I see beauty
My emotions are beautiful

My emotions are beautiful
They are an art, a skill to learn
But when I see them, I see complexity
My emotions are complex

My emotions are complex
They are a closed system, self-hurting
I’ve close the door to my mind
My emotions are isolated.

My emotions are beautiful
My emotions are complex
My emotions are isolated
My emotions scare me.
I tried to describe my emotions and I still don’t understand them.
Richard Graydon Sep 2019
I look at the mirror and get told I’m a great guy
So why do I feel like that’s a big lie
So why does my own I’m reflection looks away,
Every time I try to look him in the eye.

I look at my friends and get told I’m a fun guy,
So why do they act like I don’t exist
So why does it feel like they do care for me
And leave me at every moment

I look at my work and get told I’m a smart guy
So why don’t I know what I want
So why do I feel like my life won’t last the night
And complain when I succeed

I look at my self and say that I am strong
So why don’t I believe that
Why does that feel like it’s the biggest lie
Why do I keep carrying on.

All I want is peace
So why can’t I have it.
I have to say that this is heavily inspired by the artist NF as I find his songs completely relatable.
96 · May 2019
Note from a lonely Man
Richard Graydon May 2019
He saw no reason to go on -he took off his shoes-
only that he feared death. He did not accept his fate
He only knew that it was coming
He kept his struggling-the shoes were blue-

The days grew longer while it took him less time to remember his place
Only a few weeks until his only feeling was
no feeling-the right one had a hole-

He tried praying
to a god he’s already denounced
he tried talking to friends. Look where that left him-blood dripped down the left heel-

he was a shell of what he could be. That terrified him. Not because he wasn’t his expectation but because he knew, understood, accepted that he would never fill those shoes.
Thoughts are evil. The mind makes us think what we don’t accept yet understand. Writing this at the time I did had not helped.
62 · Apr 2019
Richard Graydon Apr 2019
I travelled this nation of ours
From North to South, East to West
Waiting for you to waste my hours
I spent it laughing, no need for rest
With a stomach full of drink and heart with love
A mind plagued without lies, a soul with peace
Never standing alone, strangers joined the link
Sun in our eyes, the rain starts to cry
Our sorrows pushed down
Forgetting our truth
And followed
The obvious
And walked apart
And faded away
One looked back
The other
Did not.
To be honest I didn’t know where this one was going. I took inspiration from a gentled voice singer called Kevin Costner on YouTube.  I would recommend anyone reading this to try out some of his songs; even if you don’t like them you can help him stay out of homelessness. Thank you
61 · Jun 2019
Richard Graydon Jun 2019
Let not your mind dwell on
such thoughts,
For they dance with morals
And toy with your brain.

Let not such evil images sit
on your soul,
For innocence is a virtue
and you are young.

Let not words harm you
they carry no weight
but can change the row
of a nation.

Let not your fear hide you:
for pain can aid you,
the tale will guide you,
and experience shall tell you
Who to trust, and who to love.
This is a collection of words I’d used to say to myself when I needed to remember what was important. I honestly don’t know if there from something else or I made them up myself however, they are just words. And words are free to all
Richard Graydon Sep 2019
I walk into my room
Head down, feeling lost
I can’t explain it,
I’m alone in a crowd

I look at the mirror
Eyes lock, searching deep
I can’t explain it,
I find nothing there

I look at my glass
Head up, wobbling arms
I can’t explain it,
I’m lost to the colours

I cry into my pillow
Eyes closed, screaming silent
I can’t explain it,
It’s my last friend

I look at my wrist
Thoughts racing,heart pacing
It’s all bare
But today is not the day.

I can’t explain it.
All it takes is one line to set off a motion of thought.
40 · Sep 2019
Richard Graydon Sep 2019
Looking at my mirror.
I take half the of what people see
And I feel alive
For once.

I take my stolen goods to school
I run with it and smile
Why does everyone like me
For once.

I take my bought lie to my friends
I run with it and laugh
Why do my friends find me funny
For once.

I take my scars home
I run with it and talk
Why do my parents finally love me
For once.

Why don’t I feel alive
Why don’t I smile
Why don’t I laugh
Why don’t I talk
Why is my perception wrong.
Why do others know me better than I do?
I wrote this surrounded by friends and none of them noticed it. I need new friends.
38 · Nov 2019
Of course
Richard Graydon Nov 2019
Of course I go home with a smile
Why do you ask that?
Is it because I’ve grown tired of lying,
Or because my smile has shrunk,
I don’t know why you would say that.
I am fine.

Of course I laugh when you tell a joke
Why do you ask that?
Is it because I’ve grown tired of trying,
Or because my laugh is quieter,
I don’t understand your question .
I am fine.

Of course I have over friends,
Why do you ask that?
Is it because I’m almost crying,
Or because I feel better alone,
I don’t see your point.
I’m fine

Of course I spend time outside,
Why would you ask that?
Is it because I act like the world is dying,
Or because I say no to all your invites,
I can’t see where you stand.
I’m fine.

Of course I don’t cut myself
Why would you ask that?
Is it because I only wear hoodies,
Or refuse to take my jacket off,
I don’t understand you.
Im fine
I’ve spent some time away just writing. Here’s what I consider the best of what I wrote.
36 · Sep 2019
Richard Graydon Sep 2019
I feel like I’m held back in my life
I just woke up late, I missed the alarm
And now everyone is living it
While I’m left dust of my achievements.

I feel like my dreams aren’t mine
I just leech of others
And when they remove me from them
I complain that I’m excluded

I feel like my thoughts aren’t true
That my mind keeps lying to me
But I grab them like they’re going out of stock
Even though I know they aren’t true.

I feel like my heart doesn’t beat
It stopped long ago
I’m only held up on a promise
A promise of better

But that’s just another lie.
I like it.
Is it wrong to take inspiration from people?
32 · Sep 2019
I wish.
Richard Graydon Sep 2019
The days grew long,
I wish I had the truth
Instead of going along
And  buying all of your lies

The nights grew short,
I wish I had my friends
Instead of choosing you
And leaving un-cut ends

My eyes grew dry,
I wish I had someone else
Instead I followed you
And closed my door to others

The cuts grew deep,
I wish I could stop
Instead this my only path
And I will walk it alone.
I wrote this one alone. And this is the first one that I wrote when I felt abandoned.
28 · Nov 2019
Richard Graydon Nov 2019
I sit down with you,
And analyse what makes everything true.
And search for what makes you me,
Cuz you don’t know it yet
But we come from the same problem tree.

I enter the room with you,
And watch what makes you hollow through and through.
And dig to find what makes us the same,
Cuz you don’t know it yet,
But I don’t want you to remain.

I eat with you,
And wonder how we brew the same brew.
And look for what unites us,
Cuz you don’t know it yet,
But I don’t like how we’re on the same bus.

I sleep with you,
And see that you cry what I spew.
And scream for you to leave me,
Cuz you don’t know it yet,
But I don’t like how I’m not free.
Free from you.
Some one made me realise that to someone who doesn’t feel like this that my poetry doesn’t make too much sense. Maybe that’s why I hide it way, and post it “unanimously”.
30 · Jan 17
What do I know
To whom it may concern,
Don’t let numbers define you.
You are much more than a 10
But what do I know?
My liking of you blinds me.  

To whoever is reading this,
Don’t let people walk over you.
You have a higher value than you give yourself
But what do I know?
My liking of you confuses me.

To the person this ends up at,
Don’t let words hurt you.
You are much more than just speechless
But what do I know?
My liking of you silences me.

To you, the one reading this,
Don’t let me tell you about you
You are much more than me
All I know is of sorrow and fear,
And my liking of you changes me.
I wrote this for a crush I had a while back and forgot about it. I just find it sweet now.
27 · Dec 2019
Richard Graydon Dec 2019
Can’t crack a smile, when I’m still in denial
This pain I feel, it’s only real
When I hold a knife, and think of my life
But that’s some lie, so I can sit and cry.

Can’t think straight, when I’m still late
I’m just mad at me, it’s driving my insanity
Why am I like this, my life is pure bliss
That’s my dream, teared at it’s ream

Can’t sleep at night, when I can’t see right
Just face it you lost kid, stop tightening the lid
See the fault with diplomacy is
The more you lie about happiness,
The worse it gets, that’s just your sloppiness.

You’re not alone, you just don’t feel at home
Where you sleep, and where you weep
They aren’t the same, you can’t place blame
This is your problem.
So I must take it alone then.
I can overthink, overnight, overreacting, over-complicating the easy
19 · Sep 2019
Who Cares?
Richard Graydon Sep 2019
I promised to never do something like this again.
However I sunk into a low like that once more.
I feel the pit in my stomach again
I forget wether it’s blood or tears dripping
In the end who cares
Not me.
After a long break and a new time high I fall again. Sometimes I wonder wether I’m good enough. Well I guess I’ll never know.

— The End —