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25...
When you were a kid you thought that you would be married by now
Have it all figured out
The career
The home
The car
The kids
Now you're here and *******...
Do we ever really figure it out?
Adulting is hard
Your Facebook feed is filling up with engagements and baby announcements
but your reading the newsfeed in the liquor isle of Safeway
Beer or wine tonight? Hmm maybe *****?
"Psh who wants to be a boring married couple"
That's what you think to yourself
Trying to convince yourself that it's okay
Drown out that little voice in your head saying "you're gonna be alone forever"
It's like walking on a tightrope
One side you have it together and the other side you still might as well be that 21 year old college student ordering shots at the bar
If someone has this figured out- hit a homie up
Until then, I'm just doing me and I guess I'm doing fine
I love you, but I don’t believe you anymore
So many broken truths
False happiness
Smile babe, you’ll make it through

I love you, but I’m tired
So much giving with nothing left to give
Worried sleepless nights
I can’t smile anymore

I hear you, but you don’t hear me
Sorry to say my life went on
I laughed, I screamed, I cried
My voice is just a whisper smothered by your lies

I see you, can you see me?
See the weight of the world on my shoulders
The vast depth in my eyes
Lost to this world

If you give up, can I give up to?
You always fall apart and I get left with the pieces
I don’t break
I’m caged by my own strength

You miss me, but I don’t know who to miss anymore
I can’t remember the last time you were you
Time never stops
I’m angry at a ghost
it’s that tomato soup and hot pockets kind of love
staying up all night talking
laughing so hard you can’t breath
how easy it is with you and me
my person
my one and only ride or die on this planet
that’s some real ****
I love you, you hate me
I'm with him, you're with her
I freak out, you ditch her
I run away, you disappear
I miss you, you miss me
I call you baby, you kiss me
but I’m just too ****** up to love you
and that’s the end of it
We going out
Skin tight dress
Red lipstick
4inch heels
Dj play my favorite song
I wanna forget him tonight

Girls we all do this
Put on the uniform of the night
Make a statement that you’re fine
Single looks good on you, right?
Give the next victim the **** me eyes
Get high off that vibe
Buzzin’ from the liquor  
The memory of his face gets a little hazy
It’s easier to move when you’re numb
Let your body talk
Tell your heart to “shut the **** up”
This is the merry-go-round we never get off
Going from lip-lock to lip-lock
Running from the fire slowly engulfing your skin
Burn marks left in the shape of his fingertips
Up all night trying to escape from the emptiness you call your bed
All it’s got you thinking about how he use to be so tangled up in it
Legs intertwined- two bodies becoming one
Forever reaching newer highs
So now you’re coming down
Just trying to hold on for the night
Pour another drink
Take another shot
Get a little crazy
Find a new ****
Start a new train wreck to add to the chopping block
You always wonder how you end up like this
But never take the time handle your ****
Jumping from one relationship to the next
You’ll never find love like this
Feeling the dude who is just trying to ****
Then turn around and wonder why you have such ****** luck
Maybe it’s time to get it together
Act like someone worth more than this
Forget the dress
Forget the lipstick
Forget the liquor
Feel the pain
and move the **** on
No one prepares you for losing your dad
They don't sit you down and explain
All the things he will miss
All the pieces he won't shape
All the questions he can no longer answer

No one tells you how it will change you
or how his absence will creep
Slowly crawl it's way into the cracks
Mold you into this shell
Change the very core of you

Loss is a strange thing
It's something we never have an answer for
Something we struggle to describe
Yet it happens everyday
Every hour
Every minute
All the billions of people in this world
It only takes one to stop time
It's dark
The feeling of warm bodies around you
Whispers of excitement hang in the air
Anticipation grows inside of you;
it's only escape through the smile on your face
A soft sound begins
Lights flash on
Your world becomes multicolored
Close your eyes
Let the music breath into you
The crowd around you electric
as you all begin to move
Just small; swaying side to side
Then the beat drops
and you lose yourself to the night
They never tell you how to deal when things go right
How to accept that every little thing worked out
To just be happy
When you realize all these things
People
Pain
Struggles
Death
The simple interactions and choices you made
led you here
and that’s okay
Yeah, you’re a little bit broken
Weathered down by the trials of life
Maybe your eyes don’t see through rose colored glasses anymore
Or that person you thought would always be there is gone
At the end of it
You lived
Down to depths of hell and back
You made it through
and came out a little bruised
But all these millions of little things
In this vast world of complexities
All led to this
The final chapter
This is where the storybook ends
You; you found *you
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