Were fighting as I yell, "I'm angry why don't you just go away"
Inside I'm screaming "no don't actually, please stay"

My body has gone into self defense mode,
And with that, it becomes so hard to decode

I'm tired and I'm hurt but it's not all your fault
Theres so many secrets locked in my vault

You said you would be there, even when it got ugly
But I guess the fighting, for you was too much juggling

My emotions run at an all time high
I warned you this from the start,
You were still willing to try.

I explained that this is what I would do
But you wouldnt listen, it was all so true

Now I'm left with an empty space
You left my life without a trace

A part of me, you took with you,
that day you drove away, gone forever
I felt like I lost my mind that night,
But I understand now we're better of not being together

You never understood my heart, the way the man I deserve, really should
I'm not sorry for the person I am,
I'm just sorry you never understood

C.m.

Its only been a week since I last heard your voice

But I'm already starting to forget the sound of it as you whispered my name

Some nights when my mind is flooded with questions and memories and longing for you, I block my number

I call you.

I'm not sure why, because if you picked up the phone I don't think I would have any words to say.

But I know you never pick up blocked numbers.

So I know I'll here your voice on your voicemail.

I know I'll feel the tingling in the back of my throat

As I hang up the phone again.

The tears will trickle down my cheeks.

They'll burn holes into my pillow while I bury my face

Trying to escape this worthless feeling.

The voices in my head will come out to play.

Reminding me I am unwanted, I don't deserve to be loved, of course he didn't love you, no one ever will.

When the madness slows down for a second, I am able to find sleep.

And I still don't understand why I keep picking up that phone to call you in the first place.

But here I am. Dialing your number once again.

-c.m.

Last night my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her. As I was holding her in my arms while she sobbed, she asked me "Can you die from a broken heart?"


I told her no, you can't. But it might make you wish that you did. The thing about a broken heart is that you feel like you're life is ending. But it doesn't **** you . It just kills a part of you. And I think someday, weeks, months, even years from now, youre going to realize that losing that part of you, was actually a good thing.

But at some point you have to stop expecting people to be as kind to you as you are to them

While your heart is beautiful and lovely, so many have been turned so cold into stone

At some point you have to stop apologizing, when you know you ve done nothing wrong. You have to stop begging the people you love to stay in your life.

At some point you have to walk away

You have to believe that you deserve more and the right person will never let you believe anything else.

You have to stop trying so hard to make everyone happy

And start focusing on your own mental health.

The people who are meant to be a part of your life will always find a way to stay there.

So at some point you have to move on.

C.m.

It's not that I don't want to live. It's just that I don't want to keep living like this.

I think about you
And most of the time all I can do is smile
Please stay right here
Even if it's just for a little while

Please don't let my exaggerations
Push you too far away
I'm trying to keep you right here
But I'm not yet brave enough to say

You're smile is contagious you know
And your arms now feel like home
Your lips feel like pillows so soft and warm
Your body is one I wish I'd always known

I'm not so sure what normal is
When it comes down to relationships and you
Please forgive me when I've gone too far
Someone whose healthy for me, I'm not quite use to

Bare with me as I navigate
This new adventure with my heart
Trust me when I say I want this to work
Take my hand, let's give this a fresh start

Ever wish you could erase
that one thing?

Keeping you from your happiness.

That one thing, that took your light away.

Maybe it was a moment,

Or some words spoken,

Maybe its a name of the person who broke your heart,

Or a day it all went wrong,

a week wasted crying over someone who never shed a tear over you,

a year of regret, and heart ache, a year of mistakes.

Ever wish you could erase yourself?

I'm wishing it right now,
staring at myself
looking back at me
in the mirror.