I cant help but wonder if i ever cross your mind,
When you see something that reminds you of me, do you regret the choice you made?
When you hear a joke, do you wish you could still share it with me?
When it’s that time of night when you rewind your whole day in your head and think of ways you'd do things differently,
In the lonely hour, do you think of me too?

My problem is that I remember. Some people are lucky enough to forget, they wake up one day and they simply just forget. But i promise that i will always remember. The smell of your cologne, your contagious smile, the scars on your hands, the line across your neck, the scent of cigarettes in your car, the sound of your voice when you say my name. i will remember all these little things and so much more.

They ask me why I spend most of my time sleeping,
it’s because it’s in my dreams where I get to see you,
it’s the only place where you’re mine and I’m yours
and nothing else seems to matter.
It’s the closest thing we have to forever.

You think I don’t want to talk to you at all but it’s all I want to do, every second in every minute of everyday. It takes everything in me not to talk to you. I wish I could tell you all these things but I know I shouldn’t so I end up saying nothing at all. You say I deserve the world; you were my world, my whole entire universe. You were all the stars, all the planets, the sun and the moon. You were my everything but that doesn’t change anything. I’m sorry that I act so cold and heartless; it’s a defense mechanism. It’s the only way I can keep myself from coming back to you. So instead I keep my distance. I cant say hello to you and risk another goodbye, cause we keep fighting over the same thing over and over again. Endless goodbyes that’s all we have left. I know sending this to you is selfish, I should’ve just left it at “goodbye take care” but I just don’t want you to think of me heartless. All I ever did was try to make you happy.

You know we had a chance, sure we were messy but we could've survived. I'd come back home, you'd show up and sweep me off my feet. You'd tell me how much you loved me, how you cant live without me. You'd grab me and kiss me and most importantly you'd never let me go again. We could've had it all. We would've made it but you ruined us. You did the one thing we can never come back from. You knew what you did would destroy us, you did it anyways. We could've survived, we should've had forever.

You think I wanted to change you but all i ever did was accept you just the way you are. I accepted the good and bad and i loved every part of you but that wasn’t enough.
You think I wanted better, but you were always what I wanted, nothing more nothing less. I simply just wanted all of you, every piece.
You think I never fought for us but I did, I stayed when you needed me most because to me you were worth it but you never took the time to fight for me, for us.
You think I never loved you the way you loved me and you're right, I loved you even more.
You think I tried to control you but I always gave you the freedom to make your own choices and you kept making the wrong ones but I loved you anyway.