Alfa - Hello Poetry

Alfa Oct 2018

666

whispering rain tapping on the window
flooding my ears with sound, fluorescent
light screaming inside my brain, lift
your hands towards me again, you
won’t see me de nuevo. Wilt
beneath the demanding life you’ve beaten,

and maybe your fear will agitate
you, into a comatose state you
had put me in.,and hidden
me away from the world, mauling
innocence out of me with incremental,
unwanted touches that cannot be undone.

from handcuffs on wooden poles, foaming
mouths pouncing on my skin, melting
within myself as you drowned wearisome
unhinged fantasies onto me, and use
children for your pleasure to continue
terrorizing freely while we all trickle.

Abused as a child, here is my testimony about my abuser. Six lines in each stanza, she truly was the devil.

#abuse #sad #isolated #depressed #fear #anger #negative #emotional #spanglish #spanish

Alfa Oct 2018

Split

I am                  split into
  Two,
People. Speaking up           /or stuck in a box
   and
          I will                         never be(ing)
complete(ly).
me                                      .

Three poems in one that speaks of my confused identity.
Read as: 1) I am split into two people. Speaking up and/or stuck in a box I will never be completely me.
2) I am two people. Speaking up and I will complete me.
3) Split into two, or stuck in a box and never being complete.

#experimental #three #split #sad #identity

Alfa Oct 2018

Dysphoric Dissociation

I carve myself out of a cardboard cutout,
I wish I wasn't empty,
stuck between two worlds that do not want me.

I am like the globe,
shattered.

Rushing blood gurgles through my veins to my head, my
words sound like Russian out my hot mouth
"so spicy"
they say it cause I'm foreign to them.
My blood pressure rises,
makes
the tea kettle screams,
on the perfect pictured home oven,
i am fuming.

I look out at the white picket fence,
raised oppressed gates,
overtaxed, overcharged, overfed, rising still.

The fury builds inside me,
I stomp the fence,
break the oven,
crash the globe,
and weep at the crap I was made out of.

we will never win.

but, it doesn't matter if we're the minority or majority,
the darker you are,
the faster you talk,
the farther away from the home land
...

they'll still give you the gun.

But, they'll blame you for everything that happens after.

A comment on American societies mental illness, health crisis, racial racism/stereotyping, gun laws, my own identity as a first generation american from immigrant parents, and how chaotic, hopeless, and dissociated I feel about my own self. How apart I feel from America's "dream" and what America really is today... thank you for reading.

#america #american #society #angry #dissociation #dysphoric #racism #political #generation #immigrant

Alfa Oct 2018

Arroz con Pollo

How do you make your rice?
is it in a ***? a pan? steamed? heated? not at all?

mine is in a frying ***.

Yellow, with pollo from the fresh market.
Peas, y frijoles on the side.

Mix it up, eat it, keep it for later.

Burn the bottom so you can get la chemada part.

If you like the chemada part, not everyone does.

A poem about my personal views on American society. How a bunch of different cultures live together which is why I make references to rice, as different types of rice making shows what culture you come from. I say I like mine in a "frying ***" because that's how I see America, a frying *** and not a "melting ***" as they say. Whereas a melting *** mixes cultures well, a frying *** keeps people at the bottom "burnt" like "chemada" (burnt rice at the bottom of the pan).

#society #american #america #views #political #racial #racism #spanish #english #spanglish

Alfa Oct 2018

Gift

I see beautiful black skin
Radiating from you
Bantu knots upons your head
And a familiar accent.
I go up to you and say hey
You look at me weird
I mistook you for my friend
She is dead.

A poem I wrote about my friend who went missing for months and found murdered, I once forgot she was dead and went up to a person who looked like her and said hello, the person looked at me weird and left. I felt hollow after.

#death #friend #depressing #dead #sadness #madness

Alfa Oct 2018

The Corpse

There's a dead friend in my closet that no one ever liked.
I know they are still there.
but, I ignore it until someone brings them up again.
I evade the question, as if I did not **** them.
As if their bones did not crumble when I touched them.
As if I did not take their soul when I told them.
Guilt falls over me.
I lay awake at 2 a.m.
Sometimes I check to see if they may come back to life,
they are always the same as I left them.
Dead and unchanging,
and everyone praises the day the corpse died.
But, I cannot understand how to feel happy,
without a person in my life

A poem I wrote after leaving a 6 year friendship.

#friendships #sadness #loneliness #guilt

— The End —