The stars aligned
and the clouds parted but for a moment.

And in this moment
we were eternal
immortal
unscathed by the problems of this world.

We held on
cherishing every moment as it soared by.

The pain of tomorrow
lied over our heads;
the loneliness
the overwhelming sadness
the held back tears
killing us ever so softly.

Distance will rip us apart
love will stretch till it becomes to thin.
And our love will fade
like the morning mist,
consumed in the chaos
drowning in a world that is not fair.

But as for now
I will bask in your embrace
I will sing the songs of joy
I will hold on to this moment with you
forever.
I will close my eyes to the darkness
I will make my stand
and refuse to be intimidated by its shadow.
I will hold you close
and I will hold you dear.

And when the clouds come together once again
And those starry lights fade far into the night
I will know that you and I will be alright.

I see before me and ocean of hurt
throngs of drowning people.
Their hearts like millstones heavy
sinking into the depths.
I close my eyes to shut them out
yet the memory never leaves.
In their eyes looms a darkness
a twisted lot of shattered light.

So much loss for those to bare
the weary travelers trudge on and on
In so much darkness
we begin to forget our sight.

We lose our bearings,
we drift off course,
we flee the field,
and forsake our honor.
We shame ourselves
hiding,
cowering in the dark.

To where will this life lead
and what will it make of us?
When will the glass ships come
and where will they take us?

I see before me an endless ocean
an ocean of deep blue eyes
Vast as a heathen horde
and greater then the bluest skies.

I see the mountains crumbling
the heavens releasing their fury.
The stars falling in lines
the waters rising in waves.

The flight of the song birds
the night of the wylde.

And all through the storm
through the hurricane of steep misery,
past the edge of the knife
and the end of the rope.
The last gleam of sunlight
and the final sliver of hope.
I can see the ocean
the deep blue ocean.

It is an ocean
An ocean of misery.

Hope anew,
theres hope for you.

Hope alive
There's hope to survive.

April my love,
my sweetest joy
my fervent prayer,
my mystery angel.

The falling petals from the dogwoods
fill the air with a pungent and wanderous odor,
the stars are particularly bright,
the lovely breeze
hints of a lovely spring.

And all I can think about
Is you wearing that green dress
your evening best,
you're enchanting, darling.

Mesmerizing in the April breeze.
You're enchanting, and I'm wonderfully lost
Perfectly lost in this April spring
This wondrous thing, this April spring.

April, my dear
My sweetest gift
let no sorrow,
no stormy rift
ever come between us.

April, my love
midnight enchantment
early morning magic
Sing me to sleep and lull me with your songs.

The rains of August
Those darkest days

Denial setting in
Masking the hurt beneath thick skin

Reality hurts
Waking up still nowhere near over her.

Another day
Another week
Another month

And still my heart is resolute on loving her

Another day
Another week
Another month

Still she visits in my dreams
Soaring on wispy moon beams
Whispering in my ears
Casting away all my fears
Wiping away all those tears

There one lovely moment,
Gone the next

To think of another
Causes me to shudder
We speak occasionally
Cruel brief moments with a girl I cannot seem to forget.

August, you were mostly bleak
Mostly filled with business and reflection on better days.
Yet near your end light appeared at the end of the tunnel.

Not much. Just a glimmer, just a glimpse of a future that in which I could one day find myself living in.

A future of happiness once more, a love like the one I shared with her,
A love that I could write a thousand poems about and never run out of words.

August you were my darkest,
Yet you showed me that even in the darkest of nights
There's always shining lights, illuminating some bright future, pointing beyond my momentary troubles.

August you were my darkest,
But you showed me the depths
So that one day I could climb the heights.

Thank you, dear friend.

I can feel the pain
growing higher.
Growing like a monster
to the heat of the fire.

Its a beautiful kinda of pain
broken shattered glass.
This ****** rain
of tears and pain.

Washing away who I was.

I draw ragged breath
from the depths of my shattered heart.

I fill my lungs one last time
with the putrid air.
As I feel my spirit crumple
under this heavy despair.

The lost cry in the night,
the eerie screams.
The watchful eye
eying the pain
of my waking dreams.

Beautiful this pain is to him;
that eye so cold,
so very cold.

Shivering bleak depths,
staring straight through my torn apart soul.

Fear dripping down my spine
like melting ice
my heart it surely shall find.
Hopeless underneath
that wretched black gaze.
I fall into the depths one very last time.

In spite of him that horrid eye,
I rid myself of all fear,
I choke him of his life source
I fill my heart with joy and blessings.
I rid myself of him.
The beautiful pain,
my darkness agony.

Her heart is young
her mind so free,
she runs like the wind
the hair at her back
like wylde fire in the night sky.

There is something mysterious about her.
A great puzzle
an endless maze.

She keeps up a front
she pushes reality to the back.
Her actions do not bend to her heart.
She is as wylde as the stallions
unbroken,
untamed.

For a brief moment she was mine.
I felt her heart beating
and I gazed into those deep blue eyes.

And as suddenly as it came
the moment left me.
She sailed far down the coast
and away from my heart.

I will never gaze into those eyes again
I will never look upon the fire she held inside.

She is unbroken
untamed
her fire will never be quenched.

Her heart
ever blazing on.

Over the wild blue sea
across a world of turmoil

Through deep forests
and wild skies

Lies a place
ancient and mighty

High towers look gloomly down over iron gates and broken walls.

This was once a place of strength,
a fortress of might
a stronghold against the darkness.

But time has played Its role
rusting the polished metal
rotting away at the foundations.

Its time has already come and gone
The fortress is not but a heap of ruin
a long gone shadow in the distant past.

Over magnificent peaks
rushing rivers and sprawling cities

Through tempest
storm and shroud
Does it lie

Slumbering silently
in broken ruins.

Flashes of white
Warm and beautiful.

Dancing silhouettes play quietly in the moonlight.

Lanterns flicker
Candlers whisper

Canopy of light
Casting out the night.

Dancing slow
Holding tight

Your eyes aglow
such a beautiful sight.

I take pause to breathe it in.

My heart so full
I fear I may sink

My head spinning
twirling
round and round.

This is the moment I have waited for for so many years
So many lonely nights
Suffering silently
forcing a smile.

But now that's over and you're here
and you're perfect.

This place is perfect
silhouettes dancing,
the glowing lights.  

The melody of the music
the warmth of your smile.

Happiness surrounds me
a canopy of light,
as long as I have you.

I'm lost in the light.
Spinning in the light.

I'm dancin' in the night
With you I'm dancin' in the perfect, lovely night.

Life is beautiful,
I couldn't be happier.

So here I am,
This moment couldn't be better.


I'm lost in the light
I'm dancin' and I'm smiling at you.

The drinker pays his dues
The Singer sings his blues

And in the midst

I'm lost in the night,
I'm dancin' with you.

6 months since we parted
26 weeks

So much has past, and so much has happened.
So many days missing you, trying to fill the void with whatever I could.
Though Business mostly.

I gave you my word I would wait 6 months before opening my heart again, 6 months for myself to heal
For you to heal
And to honor you and respect you.

But now that commitment has ended and yet I feel as I did when I first began it.
My heart is full, my wounds have healed, yet as the dust settles, emotions

Last December I was madly in love with you,
And this December finds me in a strangely similar place,
Strange what can happen in merely a year.
Strange how things can change so quickly and everything can be so different in just one year.

I'm happy on my own, while reminiscent of the days gone by
You reinvented love for me, you showed me depth and grace and truth. And I'll hold on to those lessons for ever.
How can one let such wonderful memories go?

I may never see you again, and that thought haunts me everyday but I'm dearly glad we met, I'm dearly glad you loved me, I'm dearly glad for everything. No regrets, no remorse. No take backs. I keep it all, I wont forget for a thousand years how good and kind and loving you were to me.

You're love is so real, your heart is so beautiful. And you will always find a brother in me.

6 months
26 weeks
Here we are
And here I am.

My commitment to you complete
I get back up upon my feet
I take in the new day
And I open my heart in a brand new way.

December, Help me never to forget her.
December help me to never say goodbye.

I love you Lauren, I love our story, I love the memories and the magic and the divine sovereignty that God played in our relationship. I love the lessons learned, and the stories of you that I still tell, of your passion, your generosity, your love. You're magic.
I love our story. The story of a guy at a summer camp in New York who fell in love with a girl from Missouri and how God used each of them to reveal to each other His wonderful love.

This is my war cry
This is my moment
My do or die.

When the heavens come crashing
down on me
when the mountains rear their heads in defiance of my existence.
When all that I know turns against me
seeking to wipe out all memory
of who I once was.

When the oceans rage
and the skies thunder
when the beasts howl
and the stars plummet violently to earth.
When the darkness consumes all hint of light
when the sun and the moon succumb to the night.
When my thoughts torment me
when my weakness is greater than it's ever been before.

When all hell breaks loose and its minions are unleashed upon me.
When the fear is crippling
when the hate hits its zenith
when hearts break
and all hope in me is lost.
When the rope that I held on to for so long snaps into shreds of dust
when the love I held in my heart gets ripped away.
When everything and everyone
falls into line to tear me apart.

I will not back down.

This is my defiance.
This is my battle cry
my shout of rebellion.

Come hell, come fire, come darkness, come storm

I will not back down.

This is my defiance
This is where I make my stand.
I will not lose ground,
I will make ground.
I will advance.
And I will conquer.
I will see the world
I will see great and wonderful things laid out before my very eyes.
I will see faces from the far corners of the earth
I will climb the highest mountains
I will bear the heaviest burdens.
I will swim the strongest currents
I will bear through harsh cold and fierce heat
I will never stop
I will never quit
I will overcome everything that is laid out before me
Nothing can stop me
Nothing can hinder me from achieving my goals, my dreams, my desires.

I am a loose cannon, no one can hold me down now
I am as free as the wind
as wild as the sea.
I am defiance
And defiantly I will rise above this tempest.
I will rise and I will overcome.

I am Defiance.
Try and stop me now.

The love I had
never again to be found.
The heart in my chest
forever bound.
Broken am I,
a wretched soul
drifting upon an endless sea.
I break upon the shore line
shattering into thousands of particles,
spreading across the earth.
My heart is cold
my lungs wont hold,
my tears freeze
floating on the slightest breeze.
And yet all I can think of
is the smile
that had won my heart
pipped me asunder,
right from the start.
Made me whole,
taught me to love,
gave this life a reason.

But never more,
never more.
My destiny
is to forever be
cast apart from your love,
floating eternally
on the waves
of the endless sea.

When the band stops to  play
and the music is all done,
When the story's nearly over
and we watch the setting sun.

When the heroes return home
and peace restored,
When all the birds have flown
and their cries are no more.

That's when you'll know,
you're in the epilogue.

When her love goes cold
and the days grow short.
When your hope is no more
and your dreams hit the floor.

When the adventure is over
and the beauty is faded
When she only speaks to you
in dreams that are jaded.

When the pain in your heart
Finally stops to smart

That's when you know
you're in the epilogue.

EYES IN THE WOODS

Eyes eyes
eyes in the woods,
eyes eyes
under dark green hoods.

Eyes in the dark
eyes in the light,
eyes shining dim
eyes shining bright.

Eyes filled with fear
eyes coming near
Eyes like twinkling devious
burning flames,
Eyes eyes eyes
they are never the same.

Eyes say yes
eyes say no,
eyes are the portals
from where all imagination flows

Eyes eyes
eyes in the woods
eyes eyes
eyes under dark green hoods.

Wake up
Fall in love again.

Let the pulse return,
as the trains of wandering thoughts
begin to collide.

Beat, beat, beat,
February is on back on the tracks
Churning, spurting, awaking anew.
February, these good ole days
their back for good.

Oh February, help me to see once more
Just what it is I'm working for.
February, you know me so well,
you hear my heart, and feel my pulse,
you understand my battle
You emphasize with my struggle.

Oh February, don't ever leave me,
These wondrous times,
these melodious signs,
You're good for me,
and we both know that.

Sing me to sleep and nurse me back to health
Show me the immense depths,
the kindness you claim as your wealth.

Let's talk long after the fading light
and sing our songs of love tonight.
Let's dance in this romance,
this wondrous, and magical lovely night.

Flutter flutter
little bird.
Flutter flutter
little thing.

Hush and listen
to this song I sing.
Good health and good fortune
to you,
it will bring.

So flutter little bird
flutter to me oh precious one.
Listen to this song that I will sing,
listen to my song
the song of the stars.

“Are the stars in the sky,
like you and I?
Do they flutter
or do they fly?
Do they shed their shining feathers
and make their nests out of
sticks and heather?
Do they sing sweet songs
or forgive each other
of all slights and wrongs?
Are the stars like you and me?
Can they soar in the air
so high and so free?
Can they loop and swing
flip or sing?
Or,
are they just stars?”

So flutter little bird
flutter little thing,
and don't forget a word
of the song that I sing.

Rambling rivers
Bone shivers
Vegetation withers
The beast slithers

Ocean tides
Coward hides
Avalanche slides
Gunman decides

Feel bold
Know cold
Tightly hold
Lies sold

We all decide
Choices collide
Friends make war
Enemies make amends
Opportunity closes her door
nightmare never ends.

Life is a fickle one
For all of us,
under the sun.

This is for all of us
those who share this world,
under the sun.

A shroud
of
pain

A cloud
of
darkness

A myriad
of
suffering

An endless ocean
swallowing me whole.

Kept captive

Made slave

Forced
into
*******

Dragged away.

Chained by fear

Forgotten by all

I lay in the aftermath
beaten,
broke.

The mountains
hear my voice and turn their backs
The forests
see my anguish and do nothing
The oceans
know my pain, and yet continue to ignore me
The winds
carry my cries into the void where no one will hear
The rain
snuffs out my air choking me
The thunder
booms overhead mocking my misery
The birds
fall silent
The shadows
creep over my head
The sun
covers its face in mist and shroud
The moon
refusing to come
My fate
sealed by the cruelty of nature
My destiny
a hopeless cause.

I am a wanderer
forgotten and lost.
Shifting in between the vast pages of time

Fallen from grace
cast out from eternity.

My voice carries no weight
my eyes see only darkness
my ears hear only my weightless screams
my legs are useless
my arms wont move

I am trapped
in a bottomless abyss

Free falling forever.

How can one pick up the seams
of a long forgotten past?
How can restoration ever begin
when the heart and soul
has departed from the rest?

Falling leaves
and dying trees,
shattered glass
resounding screams.

I open my eyes and see a city of gray
a collection of broken people.
The product of a broken past.

I look upon the waste that lies before me
I view the rubble with despair.
This was once a golden dynasty,
a land of abundance,
a city of white.

Now decayed,
fallen into rot and ruin.
Distraught and dying
of intellectual thirst.
The haunted look I see on the faces
the frail cry echoing in the night,
the silent torment
the unheard agony.

Children lie in the street
mothers weep.
Powerful men
keep their power to themselves
They hoard and keep
they watch as their city falls
they gaze on upon the gray.

Oblivious to the torment
untouched by the tears
the heartache and the hurt.

Mountains of ruin
rivers of blood
oceans of tears
growing like a mighty flood.

The dying and the sick,
the weak and the poor,
the famous and the rich,
those wicked lords.

I see them all,
all alike,
I open my eyes and see them.

Somehow, someway
they are the same.
Behind the hollowed eyes
and the overstuffed bellies
the thick fur coats
and the naked flesh.


They are so alike
so similar
these creatures.
They are as one being
one soul,
one flesh.

Shivers coursing
through my veins,
slivers of fear
falling like rain.

Tired and sore
wretched and poor,
weak and frail
I open my minds door.

I enter into a land
A land where no hurt,
nor wrong can ever touch

A place where what is,
is really not,
and what was thought to be remembered
is truly forgot.

I walk through the streets
with new eyes
And gaze upon the ruins
and all their lies.

How things,
then seem so changed
how things that were,
really are not.

The rich were truly poor.
Their souls filthy
***** and wretched,
their hearts blackened
broken and ruined.

Yet those the poor,
and the wretched.
The ones that I had so surely thought
were worthless.
Were truly lords
and conquers

For they controlled their destiny
they governed their hearts.
Kept the undying
innocent and free of all wrong.

And now with this new found vision
A hope arose inside of me

For I then saw
what there truly was to be seen,
a land beyond the physical
a nominal realm.

Wretched and distraught
broken and forgot,
they are beautiful
these ruins.
They are the glorious ruins
of a long lost past.

Through the eye of the father
by the grace of love.
The miracle of salvation
the glory of these shattered ruins is revealed.

I can see it



There
                   off in the distance.

So                                        far
     I can barely make it out

Its bright
                 beautiful

magnificent to
                                                   behold.

      My future riddled with apprehension and doubt
my destiny a blank puzzle.






Yet                     still
              I
see                      it

Over          ­                       m
                                      o       u
                                   n             t
                                a                     i  
                                           n
Over      r
            o  c
              k

Through          ­                d                  a                 n
                                                   g                 e                     r
and            t
                  r
                    i
                  a
                    l
H a r d s h i p  
                                                             ­                                   and s u f f e r i n g

It lies
                                    waiting for me to appear.

Waiting
                      for
                                   me
                                              to
                                                                ­        appear.

From so far away
I can see it.

It drives me.

Colliding my heart and my soul.

A night of wondering.

A voice in the dark.

Memories come
memories go.

I lie awake all night.

Even counting sheep don't help me sleep.

Sweet insomnia
excitements symptom.

I close my eyes
and I come alive.

These are the days my friend,
before it all begins.

Revel in these days.

Sweet insomnia comes to me when I close my eyes
my mind drifts
my heart flutters.

My body never to rest.
Forever locked in her sweet sleepless embrace
I bend knee and let insomnia in
ever to wander the gloom.

Into the night
we danced with monsters,
we danced with them
till the morning light.
As they flash their eyes
something precious dies
in my aging heart,
that knows the limits
of wondrous art.

We danced like the flames
we roared like the beasts.
We jumped and we shouted
hand and in hand
those monsters and we.
We exploded like stars
blazing throughout the night.
With monsters we danced,
till morning light.

January,
Are you the only,
one left?

Oh I heard a song,
sung by angels and the stars,
They sang of what could be
the days ahead in January

The love that we shared
Those times when I knew
that you cared.

But January's gone,
and the rain begins to pour,
and those stars sing their songs
no more.

January,
it's been months since I saw you
So long since last I felt the way I did when I was with you.

January,
I think it's time
that we rewrite the past
that we pick up the mast
and speak at last.

January,
let the music begin once more,
once the rain stops pouring
let the stars sing,
let the love back in.

Let the snow melt as time passes on.
Let the cold thaw,
let the warmth return.

Oh January, how I've missed you.

Through loud crashes
And heroic smashes
Through long nights and lonely walks
July you stayed by my side.

July, you were there
When few could claim thus.
You showered your care
When others made hardly a fuss.

July, you were there
When the bottom fell out
July so fair, so constant
When all I could do was shout

July,
You were my first days without her
My first lonely nights,
my misery, my muse,
my history, my news

July I don't know why you came to me
Or how I ended up with you at my side.
But now that time has past, and those wounds have scared and healed
I'm ready to return to you and say that Im grateful for you, and for those really hard nights.

They taught me the brevity of life.
They taught me to hold on:
To those I love a little tighter,
To those I cherish a little deeper,
To stay up talking a little longer,
To drive a little farther,
To try a little harder,
To love a little richer

July July,
I cry to think
I cry to remember
I cry to retrace those summer steps
Those first days without her.

July July,
Thank you for being there
When I didn't understand
And I couldn't comprehend.
Though I didn't see it
You were what was best.

June,
You came to soon.
I was not ready for you to bloom

10 months of happiness
Then you let us go
Following your convictions
You abandoned your heart
And left me on my own.

June,
You came too soon,
Like shadows that cover the moon
Or the cry of the loon
You came unexpectedly.

I'll never forget you
You're love,
Youre sweetness,

Those happy memories
Lakeside dances
Fire light romances
Taking our chances

June, you're gone now
And I fear I am too
June, you took your bow
But I'll never forget you

June, you were lovely
But that's all over now.
I'm glad you came to me
I'm glad you shared your love with me

I'll forever treasure it
And never forget it or disdain it.

You're love for me
Was an alabaster jar
Broken at my feet
And I'll never forget the way you taught me to offer that love in return.

June, you came too soon
I was not ready for you to bloom
I was not ready for you to say goodbye.
But I'm ready now, ready to say goodbye,
So here I'll try.

Goodbye June.
May I never forget the love we shared.

Its breaking through
Its crashing in on my funk
It's tearing through my veins
Ripping past my bones
It's growing within my chest

I've got a handful of lightning
I've got a head full of stars
I've got dreams so big
They don't fit on this earth

I've got a feeling so indescribable
So uncontainable

I want something
Just like this
Something just
Something just like this.
I want something just like this

I will fight
I will run
I will dance
I will dream
I will envision
I will wait
I will hold on
I will stand strong

For something just like this
I would do just anything
I would fly to mars
I would swim to the depths
I'll climb to the heights
I would ride the wind
I'll cross the void
I would harness the mighty current
I'll bear the weight upon my shoulders
This is no fairytale feeling
No emotion based motives

I want something just like this
And I will roar at the stars
I will soar like a comet
To get it

I want something that is just like this
And I'll do anything to get it

I swing my head left and right
I move my hands up and down
I kick my feet high into the air
I dance away all feeling of doubt
I jump into the great unknown
With the off chance that this will work

Something like this
Just like this
I want something
Something that's just like this

I'm not looking for perfection
I'm not looking wealth
I'm not looking for fame
I'm not looking for comfort
I'm not looking for power

I'm looking for something just like you
just like you

Something that's real,
Something that's genuine
Something that has a heart of gold
A voice of sweet silk
A smile that makes my heart feel like an exploding atom bomb
Eyes that could slice through anything
I want something just like you
Something warm and kind
Something sweet and pretty
Something of true value
Something of immense depth

You make my heart head spin
You make my world go round
You make my dreams come alive
You give my poems life
You give my words meaning and depth


Just like this
Just like you

I want something just like this.

Let love be my companion,
when I walk through the storm.

Let love guide my heart
though broken and torn.

May I walk upright
and never stoop.

Let compassion
fill my being.

Mercy,
my soul.

Kindness,
my passion.

Peace,
my desire.

When tempest rage
when shadows come,
let love be my guide.

When words are harsh
and eyes pierce like daggers,
let love be my strength.

When swords are drawn
and arrows fly,
let love by my shield.

When hate corrupts
and sorrow abounds,
let love be my courage.

Through storm
through fire,
let love be my champion.

Here I am
living an unreal dream.

The stars collide together
the forest breathes it in.
the waters speak softly
and here I am,
dreaming.

All around me there is life.
The air never sweeter
the grass never greener
the song of the birds never so melodious.

How I bask in this moment
how I smother myself in its embrace.

I rest easy
and let nature take its course.
Over valley, over meadow,
over stream, over glen,
over the bluest skies
and the tallest trees
over the birds that fly
and over the raging sea,
that is where you will find me.

Wrapped in my thoughts
surrounded by the things I love
with peace in my heart
and joy in my spirit.

That is where you will find me
Living in a perfect dream.

Past rolling hills
green valleys and beautiful woods.
Over falls wondrous
and meadows gold.
Through towns and villages
snow covered and cold.

Over oceans vast
and jungles deep
Lies,
the mountain mammoth.

Great stones
mere bones
before its sprawling feet.

Standing in awe
at its Gothic magnificence.
All creations lying under the shadow
of this monstrous heap.

They dance in reverence
they bask in the terrible embrace,
of the mountain mammoth.

This far away mountain
oh fiery fountain.
Oh ginormous mongrel
oh hideous evil.



Enveloping all life
purging all love.
Decimating madness
the end of all things.

Fear erupts from it
like water from a spring.
Darkness covers the mountain
darkness blacker then pitch.

Darkness that no light ever can touch
not even the stars
those resilient lanterns.

All hope is dashed at the walls
of the mammoth mountain.
All hope is forsaken at the foot
of the great fiery fountain.

Step into line
I'll follow yours,
if you follow mine.

Let our boots click,
let this feeling stick
let this moment last
hold on tight and I'll swing you fast.

Step in step,
March along,
Step in line
as we sing our  song.

March, you're full of life now
March, don't you worry
and I'll show you how.

She's a good girl,
with a lovely smile
You're a good man,
but its single file

Wait your turn,
hold out hope,
your dance isn't done
this march ain't through for you.

Soon she'll be back in your arms,
you just march along, and sing your song.

March, you're full of life now
March, watch and I'll show you how.

Deftly, gently, carefully yet confidently
pursue yet don't crowd,
love, yet from a distance.
Encourage and support,
her life is more important than "our life"
her heart is more precious alone,
than it is in your hands.

March along and sing your song,
March alone and march for her.
Win her friendship, before you win her heart.
Win her trust before you win her hand.
Be the friend she's prayed for,
Be the man she needs you to be,
not the man you think to be.

March as if everything depended upon it.
March and don't you ever quit.

May:

May I dream like I once dreamed

May:

May I sing like I once sang

May:

May I dance like I once danced
alive and full of youth.

May:

The fire alight once more
like on that rocky shore
those pounding waves,
those mighty mountains,
that lonely river
that old man with his old stories and his old staff.

May:

May I breathe like I once breathed.

May:

May I love like I once loved.

May:

May I feel the same way I felt when I was with you once more.
May that feeling not be lost, may it return to me, like flowers in spring, like waves on that rocky shore, like stars at dusk, like the sun at dawn, like the echo in the mountains, like a train on its track.

May:

May I see like I once saw

May:

May we be as we once were
In love, and full of love, filled with love, intoxicated by love.

May:

May you return to me
May you return once more.
Like those waves on that rocky shore,
like the rain as it starts to pour,
like the stars in the sky.
Return to me and May we be once more.

Stars fall apart
And love grows cold

Days turn into years
And shadow envelopes us

Tears stain
And hearts collapse

But we must move on

To you I say these things
Let your love grow tall
Let your joy abound
Let happiness fill your life

Until the end of your days
May your heart be full.

Lost in the chaos
alone in the crowd.

I don't know who I am anymore;
since you've gone so much has changed.

Everything is unfamiliar,
everything is gray.

Days have passed with not but a smile on my face.
I pray to God
this day,
to give me grace.

This life so long
so bleak.
This Misery so real,
so harsh.
These days I don't know who I am,
most nights,
dreams hide and tears stream.

How to move on
when you're so far away?

Lost in the misery
alone in the chaos.
I drown in the loneliness,
I agonize through these dark times.

Tell me love,
when is the dawn?

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The mist rolls in
and the sun comes out,
the flowers bloom
and the wylde things shout.

The beasts roam
and the thunder quakes,
the stars dance as one
the ground beneath begins to shake.

The calming air
the wondrous air
the peaceful air.
Ode to the beauty of this fresh
mountain air.

The cool breeze so fair
flowing steadily
from the mighty peaks

Of earth and sky
rock and water,
ever does it reek.

The green of the hills
And the shiver
of the river's chills

The sounds of the forest
and the roar of the beasts
Ode to you oh ye so fair
Ode to you
oh perfect mountain air.

Over in a flash
Yet seeming to last a life time.

I woke up in November from my summer nap.

I breathed in deep air that for the first time in months was not hindered with the chill of pain and loss.
The burden of losing someone so precious and lovely.

Time is a slow yet effective healer, and can treat any type of hurt or wound, or so they say.
In reflection as I look back on my time with dearest Lauren, I'm so utterly grateful,
if I could do it all over again knowing full well that our love would end, I would gladly and speedily choose to take myself through all of it once more. The distance, the missing eachother, the long drives, the time spent apart.

For me it was always worth it.
Even with the thought that we could potentially break apart.
The love she gave me and showed me and taught me, I'll never forget it. Not even when I'm a hundred years old.

I'll probably end up writing a book about that love she had, I'll teach my daughters one day to love like her, to care like her, to be like her.

My time with sweet Lauren was one of the greatest Investments I have ever made

Some have tried to offer apologies for all the money and time I spent with her, yet I quickly turn them down and tell them I gained more out of my time with her than I could have in a lifetime with anyone else

Yet November is here
November has come

Though the feelings fade, and my heart begins to heal, I won't let myself forget her face, her smile,
Her magic that mesmerized me.

I'm sorry we're here
And I do dearly wish we were elsewhere, preferably together. And I'd be lying if I said that I don't sometimes miss you, or love you, or want you, or think of you, your lips, your hands, your feet swift as a doe, made to dance. Your embrace, the way you would run out of your front door and meet me half way in the freezing cold, bare footed and wearing shorts with the brightest and most beautiful eyes I truly have ever seen. The way you'd let me sweep you off your feet. Magic.

But its November now, and here we are near strangers once again. I fear a piece of me will always love you, Lauren.

Falling leaves
And rolled out sleeves
I wipe my brow and I keep marching on

When October is over
Awaken my heart

When October is over
Allow me once more to start

The warmth starting to fade and a  
new chill transforming the world we know Into a dark and barren place.
Yet deep down hope is rekindled and light begins to shine.

When October is over
Let me know

When October is over
I'll let her go

But just for a little while longer
I'll hold on to her,
I'll embrace her memory,
I'll seek out her friendship
I'll dream of the day when I win her back,
I'll write love songs to her and not share with anyone
I'll paint for her with all the skill my shaking hands can muster
I'll practice my dancing to impress her
I'll pray to God to hold her once more
I'll wash my face and comb my hair
I'll dress myself in all of her favorite clothes I own
I'll imagine an impossible life with her, seeing the world and living out our dreams.

Wake me up when October is over
But for now let me sleep and enjoy this dream, this wondrous dream I've been stuck in.
Let me lie to myself that perhaps she yet loves me,
Let me lie to myself as I imagine her saying she wants me back
Let me lie to myself and say there's hope for the love we once had
Let me lie to myself sweet mysteries
Let me Reforge the passion, reignite the romance arouse my inmost desire:
To hold her as I did that first night we met. That first embrace, that wonderful surprise,
Realizing that she was so much better than I could have ever imagined.

When October is over
Please don't let my dreams continue,
But humor me just for awhile as this month passes by, to imagine a life by her side.

This is my ode to you
Lover of life
Giver of joy

Your waters cascade from the mighty heights
Your power descends from above

Your like an ocean
constant
Ever on the move
Ever flowing

My song to you
Is my song of you
Your beauty
Your grace
Your smile
Your world the one you have created
That I so long to be apart of
That I will never be apart of

My eyes swell with tears
My lungs clench with grief
Suddenly Its hard to breathe
The weight of an eternity without you
Hangs heavey on my shoulders
Like millstones around my neck
It drags me to the depths
Taking me down
Deeper than I could have ever deemed possible

Will I ever you see you again?

And so I sit on the shores of this vast expanse
This host of water
This wasteland of sea
I sit here and I think of you
I think of the days we spent

The day in the park
The day in the mountains
The day in the hills
The day at the lake

I sit here and I think of all those times
And in a way I feel as if I am robbing eternity of its captive
I am freeing my mind to the wonder that once was mine.

I close my eyes and I think of you
I breathe life into dry bones
Bring back the love I once had.
And this my ode to you my long lost love

Your beauty will always be in my memory
Your smile never forgotten
Ode to you my long lost love
This is the song I sing for you.

Open your eyes
so that I may show you my world

Open your ears
so that I may whisper my wisdom

Open your mind
so that I may fill it with my wonder

Open your heart
so that I may show you my love.

Open your hand
take mine with it
and gaze upon the wonders of this world
with me.

The sky like glass
the oceans silver,
the meandering streams
ever passing like fading dreams.

Now who will paint the midnight stars?
Who will illuminate this darkness?

Who will free those chained captives
and portray the color of their life?
Who will paint the sky with stars
and uncover the mysteries
of the galaxy's so far.

A voyager or traveler?
an adventurer or pilgrim?

Nay none but the hands
of beauty and light,
will ever touch brush to sky.

Yet the two
light and beauty betrayed the stars.
They forgot their love
and broke a legion of hearts.

They left them to die
to fade darkened as the darkening sky.
They left those precious gems forgotten
purged of light,
stripped of beauty.

The stars in turn one by one
fell deep into the abyss.
Burning shamefully
forever it seemed cast out of bliss.

Great was the lament of the sky
the day it was robbed of its pearls.
Barren of beauty love and light.
And there it sank
deep into the dark cold gray sea.

Slowly, sorrowfully
it sank deep, deep, deep
into the dark cold seas.


Night has brought those who sleep
golden warmth forever to keep,
It has wooed them to sleep
and caressed them there
in the softness of the deep.

Sleepless tormented and frail
Those the ones who yield not to hail.
Those the ones who do not look up
Those the ones whose evils fill their cup.

Oh lover of the night
mischievous beauty
Oh darkening shadow
oh fading light.



Your glory was once breath taking
your eminence eye opening.
Your beauty desired above all else
your light above all eternal.

Like a unfinished work
or a half built home,
you are now neglected
faded into black
The chance was yours
hope flew upon your shoulders.
The sky a white blank canvas
the stars yearning to be painted

And yet you oh beauty
you oh love,
forgot those precious gems.

You forgot the power that they had
you forgot the love that they shared.

And for your sins
eternal damnation
will be placed upon
your wretched heads

For you are the murderers
of those starry lights
You are the killers
of the love filled nights.

Lovers now cease to love
Dreamers now dream no more
of the heavens above.
Your sins have bound you
to an eternity of flame,
From here on our
you life will never be the same.

On that day that cursed day,
when the devils triumph was great
When the heavens fell
and beauty and love made their foolish fate.

The sky fell deep into the sea
and there it laid for many days
and many nights.

Mourning the loss of beauty and love
mourning its fate mourning its doom.

And on that day that cursed day
when legions of devils
danced upon lovers hearts.

When the darkness
seemed brighter then the light.
When the ages of man
seemed to fall away.

When the very heavens broke loose
and the neck of life
breathed its last under
the chocking noose.




Then and there in the deepest of dungeons
a hope small and beautiful was sprung anew.

This hope
was not like any other ever known.
It was bright like fire
warm like the sun
fierce as the wolf
that never turns to run.

Like a furnace it billowed
and it burned.
It raged and roared
it smote all in its path.

It heaved and it sighed
and broke apart the fearful curse
That held captive the lovely sky
and kept it from you
and kept it from I.

It pierced through the darkness
it scorched the fear and broke its back.
This new hope bright as the sun
fierce as the wolf
took up the soft cold hand of the sky
held her close and lifted her high.

Lifted her out of the deep deep sea
lifted far out of the deep cold sea.

It raised her up on the wings of eagles
and carried her heart
to the safe havens of Elysium.
And with it the noble Hope
restored beauty, love
and light to the world.

Brought back the dreamers and the lovers
and returned the world
back to its rightful place.

And at the end of all things
the last and final deed
this chivalrous hope did do.
Was paint the glorious stars onto the sky
for me and for you.

This hope so fearsome
this hope so bright
this hope so great that it has saved the beauty
and has brought back the light.

The sky now once more does shine
the heavens so full with beauty.
If only if only
those jewels
those precious gems and jewels
of unimaginable worth
were truly mine.

Oh hope how marvelous a thing thou art
for you have painted the skies
with the most precious of stars.
And have filled this heart,
this heart with love.

Rhythm of the night
Hold me tight.

Sing me songs from years gone by,
When love was alive.

Lull me to dream one last  time
Twirl me around that old music line.

Ignite my soul,
Ignite my bones,
Turn my feathers into stones
And keep me grounded by your melody.

Rhythm of the night
Be my guide
And be my light.

Be my end
And be my start.

Fill my bones and ignite my heart.

Rhythm of the night
Be my shining light.

To remember you
My dear September
To remember your smile
To remember your touch
To remember the way you showered your love in the little things
To remember your intentionality
To remember your grace
To remember you dancing,
Like a dream you were when I held you in my arms,
Like a dream you were when I kissed you with my mouth.
Like fresh honey, or new oil,  I knew your value fully well, I knew how precious you were, dear September

I knew not to take you for granted,
I knew to hold you tight and treat you right.
I knew to sing you love songs and tell you "in my arms was where you belonged"
I knew to be tender with you, gentle and sweet, I knew your value fully well and I strove to help you see it.

You were my dear and my darling,
You were my love, my Victor's crown.
When our hands met I knew heaven came down,
You were my shining Oasis in a sea of sand, you were my world, my marching band.

September I remember you,
You're golden hair, your golden heart.
September I remember and I'll never forget though I may now be gone.

September though I must move on,
I'll always remember.

She haunts me
with her love.

She mesmorizes me
with her beauty.

She's haunting me
Her stare sees through me
Her voice shakes my bones.

She is enveloping me
Dragging me into the depths.

My Mind screams unheard
Every instint going off like little alarms.

My Heart follows her every move
Tracking every step
Beating all the more.

Screaming within
Dying of doubt.

No life with
No life without.

I drown in the crossroads.

My heart and my Mind
Forever at war
Forever at odds.

No solution
This creeping pollution.

My soul roars
Ripping apart
Scattering the floor.

I drown in the crossroads
I slip on the *****.

Divided against myself
How will I cope?

Trapped inside one
I really am two.

Broken apart
The pieces to my puzzle
All wrong.

In the dead of night
When the moon is bright
When the stars give their light,
She haunts me
with her love.

Wings flutter
a chorus of beating air.
The dawn rises,
washing the world
in the clear crystal warmth
of the day.

Far,
so far away.
She comes to me
that lovely songbird.
She sings to me
the songs of the wylde.
She fills my heart with love.

She is the rise
and she the set ,
the world is hers
and her heart is full.

She flies through
the window of my heart,
she flutters in
and makes her home.
She sings soft beauty
she fills my dreams
with wonderful things.

Far,
she is.
So far away
from me.
Yet she comes
on the wings of a song bird.
She flutters
she floats.
She brings hope
to my soul
fills my head with wonderful things.

On the wings of a song bird,
love she brings.