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I care to much to look away
You've made this happen
Your laugh
Your innocent looks
You truly don't understand
What really lies in my mind
I dread waiting for your texts
I regret my patience to wait
Yet I wait
And wait
Until I see you have responded
It drives me insane
How sane you make me
I shouldn't have you on my mind
Yet putting you out makes me ache
So I drive myself crazy
Because I know your eyes
Tames my insanity
We're suppose to be friends
My mind tells me not to ruin that
But I want to push the limit
Just because of how you make me feel
I hide it from you
Bury it deep down
I don't want you to truly know
How much I care
I'm about to do
What needs to be done
Stuck in my mind
Not trying to leave
You've taken up residence
Telling you how I feel is
What needs to be done
Although you've probably figured it out
You're smart enough.
It still
Needs to be done
You've unintentionally jumped into
    my life
I've exposed myself to you
You know my weaknesses
My flaws
The least I can do is
Expose myself
One
Final
Time
No matter how weird I feel
No matter how uncomfortable
Because truly
It's what needs
To be done
Take your own advice
Don't just give it to others
See if it works
Live without regrets
That's mine
I should take it to
Never live thinking
What if
That's always been my fear
That the what if's
Are the suppose to be's
Life can only tell you no
Then you can go on
Maybe I should
Live life to the fullest
Get rid of the what if's
And go with what I feel
Someone recently convinced me
Listen to yourself
Because you listeb to your gut
And follow your own path
That leads to your own happiness
So I'll start with my motto
And stop having "what if's"
Because some what if's
Are should haves
I have these moments
Of Sorrow, Hatred, Pain
For myself
But i also have
Love, Admiration, Breath-taking
Moments for others
How can I feel myself
What I do others
Sometimes it does happen
And I treasure those
Sometimes a total switch
But it soon goes back
For I'd rather hate myself
And dump my love on another.
I want to force it out
But you have it under lock and key
Not with any lock and key
A skeleton key
A master lock
With no way to find them
Before i was uninterested
But now
Now something
I cant quite put my finger on it
But something has caught my eye
My attention
My motivation
To try my luck
Find the key
Open the lock
And release it
Whatever it is
That you feel needs to be locked
I want to know
I have to know
I need to know
Quiet on the surface
Yet i sense something within
A mysterious aura
Seeping out of you
On the surface you appear to be quiet
Appearing to be held back
Restraining
All for the look
Of innocence.
Well that really causes me
A problem
I found your tattoo
I found your secrets
Your hinting at more
Enticing me like treasure in the open
An easy steal
But i feel a trap
I won't fall in it
But should I
Like i said before
I found your tattoo
How does it look
When neither of us is happy
When the air is heavy
Toxic with anger
Yet we love each other
Nights looking like a sleep over
Rather than a loving home
How does it look
When we don't talk
Yet leave in the same car
No eye contact
Yet we love each other
I can't tell you how it looks
Im on the inside
Not the outside looking in
But i can tell you
Exactly how it feels
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