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Sylvia Fénix Sep 2019
There's a matchstick burning at the bottom of the ocean
Though it seems unfathomable, by all means, it's true
This tiny flame sparks and rages underneath the riverbed
Defying reality as it flares and spits at the codfish below

But as you'd expect, this hot stick isn't so bright anymore
The light, ravaged and eroded by wear and tare
A blaze brought down by time and circumstance
Perhaps someday it shall understand it's own charade

Splitting headaches, my brain acts in two halves
One side calculated and contemplative, the other impulsive and unrefined
One of them assures me that I shouldn't have jumped, that it was a mistake
The other only tells me I should've dived deeper

And I'm not sure which is telling me what.
feelings are hard
Sylvia Fénix Aug 2019
yknow those street lights?
where you press the button and wait for the stoplight
so cars stop and you may pass?
i actually stopped at one of those today

i stood there and waited for the light to flicker different
so that i may safely cross the road home
i know this sounds really meaningless
but it was actually quite something for me

i never stop at these lights
i run across the road as soon as my own chance shows itself
and i noticed lately that every time i did it
i'd find myself getting closer and closer to the cars each time

this is different
ive got a reason to keep going now
a genuine reason
and nothings gonna stop me now
im gonna be careful, for her.
Sylvia Fénix Aug 2019
feelings flying
racing
escalating
feels like im just a passenger
spectating

everythings out of control
im so high
but i can make things right
please dont die

we can save eachother if we just try
not a broken promise, not a lie
i think you're really cool, im a wannabee
i wanna fix us just like an anomaly
shes cute, she'll say she isnt, but she is
Sylvia Fénix Aug 2019
whats the old saying i recall
"its better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all"?
whoever that came from must've never loved once before
much less twice or more
well that relationship lasted long didnt it?
i dont know if i should feel upset, mad, angry, played or even more upset
now ive lost two of my best friends and i cant even spend time in my usual places because hes there now
can something go right for me just once
Sylvia Fénix Jul 2019
i dont kid myself
im not some hot shot writer casanova
and im certainly not damaged
poetry comes from the heart
and mines spent the last 15 years sheltered

i felt something really good
the first time i was in love
maybe even the only time ive been in love
and then i felt something really bad
when i hurt that person really bad

now sheltered little sylvia here had a lying mother
and sylvia never really saw how much a lie could hurt someone
would i go back and stop myself from saying things to him
if i had the choice
of course, but theres a reason im not a time traveler
i had to learn to tell the truth the hard way
and what lies can do to people you care about the harder way
cause ive got a thick skull, ysee
and maybe that was the only way it would've broken in

its been nearly a full year since i last saw him in person
i used to think about it alot honestly
what id say, what id do
i thought id be prepared for that moment
but seeing him for just a couple moments going past me
some reason, that got me more than it shouldve and im still not too sure why

maybe i should try and talk to him
maybe be a halfway decent friend this time
idk
Sylvia Fénix Apr 2019
the glass shows a me that isnt
a someone else who im pretending to be
the clothes im wearing
metaphorically stolen off anothers back
the hair im sporting
fake and unnatural, masquerading

but despite how disgusting it feels in my mind, im happy
its nice to play dress up without hurting anyone
cosplaying feels really nice and i still dont really know why
Sylvia Fénix Mar 2019
a melody that brings you joy
can bring you endless misery
i want you by my side~
so that i never feel alone again~
you used to love this song
so why did you ever stop listening to it?

they've always been so kind~
but now they've brought you away from here~
you usually think about what actions are being committed
as songs progress
like making your own music videos in your head
but you can't remember what happens in this story
i hope they didn’t get your mind~
your heart is too strong anyway~

you start to remember things  you thought about the song,
not much
but you remember that you thought of the "they" as yourself
or who you were
what does that mean?
we need to fetch back the time~
they have stolen from us~

and I want you~
we can bring it on the floor~
you’ve never danced like this before~
we don’t talk about it~
as the chorus hits
you find your face stained with tears
and you're crying
you're crying and you don't want to
you shouldn't
dancin' on do the boogie all night long~
****** in paradise, shouldn’t talk about it~

coldest winter for me~
no sun is shining anymore~
as the bumpy chorus smoothed down
you tried to contain yourself
you heard them calling your name through your door
but you ignored them as you listened through your headphones

the only thing I feel is pain~
caused by absence of you~
those words cut deep
they felt directed at you
obviously, they weren't
but you tend to lose your reasoning
during your emotional bouts
suspense is controlling my mind~
i cannot find the way out of here~

your childish crying began to die down
but you found yourself getting no happier
you tried to form words to your friend
who had been calling your name since this began
but you couldn't even talk
you couldn't even tell him
coward
all you could do was sit there and listen
and realize that you still have alot of work to do

i want you by my side~
so that I never feel alone again~
bless you, Milky Chance, your song made me feel something again. lets hope next time its something a little more fun
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