Awe Evie you came here fighting. Pulling the oxygen out of your nose. Trying to get out of the incubator you were not having it little girl. You are such a doll baby with a beautiful face. I love your orange hair I can't wait to see what color it will turn out to be. You are named after me Ms. Evieana Lillian. I'm named after my grandmother which makes you the third. My grandmother had red hair she was biracial just like you. So it's so cute that you have her name orange hair and spunky attitude. I thank you for being strong enough to fight. Wonderful enough to love and a small bundle enough to hug and kiss on. You are my Lilly boo and I thank Jehovah that I got the chance to meet you❤.

Can I love him like I love you? The men now want to be the child. Unfortunatelyourtunitly, the men are use to bring taken care of. It's just not what a real lady wants. I want a grown man..someone that makes sure that I know that they are there. Make sure that I'm okay..that I have what I need. Not that a man doesn't have feelings because we know that they do. But if I'm the weaker vessels why I'm I catering to you. It's your job to be the back bone. Sure there are some people that want to play reverse rolls. I'm not them not do I want to be. People speak about women's rights. I have the right to be respected and speak as I need and have my mans back. Yet, I need my man to be a man. Teach him all of the good that you are. That way I can love him like I love you❤.

It's okay to not be ready. To want something but just not know if it's a good fit. Doing everything the right way also doesn't mean that it will all turn out perfect. Making such a permanent move can change your entire life. Is it worth it and will the change be painful? It's easy to stay in the same situation. The comfort of knowing what will happen everyday will keep a mind at ease. Yet, if change comes what will the day look like? The transition should be easy and without questions.  To live in fear of what could be equals emptiness. It could also leave one stagnant. The heart wants change but I'm just not sure.

Life gets so busy as children grow they graduate and get married. If we allow it..the world and people around us will shape our thinking. Seeing the way people treat you it allows you to see how they view you.                                                   If you accept their way of thinking you might allow the thoughts of others to shape who you are. With an immature person this occurs all of the time. Let's look at the slaves. If one person was afraid to learn to read the majority became afraid. The same with running to freedom...not all were prepared to run.                                           So they stopped others by telling on them so that they should not go. Some told when others were running. If those that ran listened to those that stayed who would have taken that underground railroad? I respect everyone's standpoint..yet, it is not the thoughts that I own an cherish. Your road is not mine to travel.                                               Although, my feet might burn an my sweat might pour from traveling my way. The lessons that I learn..I will use them to to make those that come behind me build a far better road than even I have traveled.

We all throw it. Well those of us that are from or live in the south. For sure

It is hard to tell everyone that needs to know the same thing at the same time. Without sharing it with those that might not need to know. Follow along as I take you on a short ride
I care for many. I am friends with few maybe just two. I trust none but my siblings. I would give my last if I thought that you not only needed it but deserved it. We have all had the same opportunities in life. With your extra, you drink, drug and ***. With mine I give to my children. I don't ask you for anything. We don't talk yet you feel comfortable opening your mouth to ask me for something. How dare you. I use to try to understand the thinking of everyone. I thought to myself, how can I help you if I don't understand you. I now understand that you are all about you. Uncaring, greedy and selfish. I am none of those, but I also owe you none of me. This journey has helped me to see that I owe you nothing. Does it hurt me not to help you? Yes! But for the love of my self, I will not. We all need someone sometime. But using people is not the answer. If it is not my sibling, children or real friend...don't ask for nothing! If you desire for things to change you need to change. Build trust, be there just to be there. Not because you have needs. I can't deal with over-grown people throwing their needs on me!

Music makes me smile but so does real love. The thought you... him fills my mind. Because I love him. When you walk away because you need a break and the love still fills you up. That might be when you should know that he is a must. Finding that one that you can trust and talk with all day means so much. Some that are still waiting might wonder, what is taking their love so long. It is nice to have time with self, but time with you is even better. I think of the songs that come on and you and I can't wait until we are married and have cold weather. Yes, sometimes, I am corny but what is love without it? Your smile, loyalty an voice is a new beginning for me and my heart.
Loving you is new, thinking of you is new and I can't wait to start my life over anew with you!