(read forward, then backward, line by line)

I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Guilt
Consumed by
Fear
I was heightened by
Adrenaline
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
Trapped
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Death.

What am I?
I know the obvious answer is "human",
But I mean it in a more focused way.
What am I to you?
Am I the one whose heart you wish you never broke?
Or the one you wish would fade away for his own good?
Am I the one you kissed so much out of appreciation and maybe unspoken affection?
Or a sullen reminder of the things you may have thrown away?
Am I the sweet sullen soul with a constant smile on his face, who always saw the good in you, and was never angry when you didn't speak, for I was fluent in silence?
Or am I the angry and bitter soul with fire in his eyes, who voices his grave concern and disappointment with the roads you have taken?
Am I the friend you hold so dear, and swore to never let go?
Or am I just a secret now, and nothing more?
The answer is simple
As clear as day
I am not one or the other
I'm both
I'm the one you wish you never hurt, and wish would let you fade, but I'm still here.
I am the one you showed such grand affection to, but you try to downplay like it was nothing, because from here it seems you still feel pain for it all, but I'm still here.
I am happy and bright soul who knows the good you are and can do, but also the angry and sad one who looks on you and asks "What the hell are you doing to yourself?", but I'm still here.
I am still the friend you hold so dear, but also a secret you don't wish to have, because even though you hate lying to him you still do, but I'm still here.
And that shall always remain the same.
The yin and yang.
But one constant will always remain:
I'm still here.
Because to me, you were always worth it.

Love
The ultimate emotion
One that is over complicated by the populous
"It's the hardest thing you'll ever do"
"You're never sure if you do somedays"
"It hurts"
Neither of those are true
Love is not the hardest thing
Its as easy as breathing
When you feel it, its finite and you don't question it
Even if emotions can be a mystery to you
Love is always a constant
Love is not painful
Its the most beautiful thing
It does not harm
Harmful things are sometimes claimed to be done in the name love
But if they hurt, then its not love.
Love is unquestionable
If you feel it, you won't question it.
You'll know in your gut its true.
If someone says "Loving you is hard sometimes"
Then odds are they don't love you as much as they claim
If the love you feel only garners nothing but pain
Then it may not be love after all
If you are unsure you love a person, if you say "I think I do"
Then you don't.
Because loving someone is as easy as can be.
Pretending to is hard.

Something feels like its missing
Something feels like its gone
Something I wish was still here
Something I miss
It hurts knowing that you have the reason wrong
That you think it was all for love
When it wasn't and still isn't
Its because you are my friend
First and always
And I don't leave friends behind