The dark is scary.
Shadows creeping near the walls.
Waiting out of sight.

I get mad when I get 80s on tests.
Or when I barely scrape by on an assignment grade.
It makes me feel weak. Or dumb.
Almost like I’m not trying. Almost like I’m not applying myself.

I can do better, I know that!
I could’ve studied more. I could’ve read more.
I could’ve done more.
I could’ve tried harder.

But, in the end, these things just get me down.
I did try. I did do my best.
After all, nobody’s perfect, right?
And that’s okay.

Every day is more or less the same.
Walking aimlessly
No one to talk to
No one to lean on.

Monday. Alone, trapped with my thoughts
Thinking about whether I’m being looked at or not.
Are they watching me eat? Are they watching me walk?
I can’t do anything like this. Might as well smile at everyone.

Tuesday. Worrying *****.
Have to think ahead during every conversation. Every action.
Have to think of what to say before saying it, unlike most people.
I’m tired of it. Tired of guessing. More smiles.

Wednesday. My one friend asks if I have plans.
I say yeah, I plan on playing games.
But instead I’m lamenting over past mistakes.
Things that happened months, or even years ago.

Thursday. Hide the pain.
Smile at everyone you see.
When I get home, I cry to myself in silence.
I can’t handle this. I’m gonna break.

Friday. That one day everyone looks forward to.
But now, it feels like every other day.
What’s the point of the weekend when it goes by in a flash?
Might as well just do nothing, as always.

Why am I like this?
I dunno. It’s kinda stupid, isn’t it?
After all, someone close to me did say what I worry over is stupid.
I wonder, am I really that stupid?

Monday arrives again.
I don’t wanna get out of bed.
After two hours, I manage to dress.
And I put on another false smile.

I wish could feel something.
Wish I could stop feeling like I’m nothing.
I wanna be happy, like everyone else.
But faking it just isn’t the same.

Pretty sure I’m trapped in a trance.
I just wanna take this dance.
I don’t care if it’s up to chance.
There might be more to us than just one glance.

I know it’s real late.
And at first you were just a date.
But, it’s funny, I’m starting to like hanging out.
I’d like more of this, I know that without a doubt.

Maybe we could be more than friends.
Though I dunno if our time together could extend.
Past simply talking about nothing all day.
I just wish I knew what to say.

When I look at you now, my heart skips a beat.
Something’s rising within me, some kind of heat.
Part of me wants to regain that trance
Would you care for one more dance?

A blinding flash.
I cover my ears as my teeth gnash.
A wave of destruction, moving towards me.
There’s nothing to do; I get washed away in the sea.

My eyes open.
My thoughts, unspoken.
I dress
to cleanse my distress.

The big day is here.
My turn is near.
People, standing in front of the class.
Giving presentations; I won’t last.

My leg starts bobbing up and down at a rapid pace.
I can’t do this. I’ll be a disgrace.
My name is called, my fate inescapable.
I march to the front of the room, my ability incapable.

Breathe in. Breathe out.
I have to rid myself of this doubt.
I speak, my voice quiet, almost inaudible.
Great, this presentation is already horrible.

But time passes, and my voice is raised.
People’s eyes widen, they’re clearly amazed.
My voice carries weight, setting a tone.
Darkness clouds the room; this place is my own.

I’m done running. My feelings overflow.
And without warning, I explode.
Everyone is silent. My fate left unclear.
But, amid the silence, comes a single cheer.