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Day Oct 2015
if love is blind,
i guess i'm deaf.
*** all i can see,
is you.
Day Dec 2018
a flower needs
sunshine
to survive
maybe some
water
to stay alive
add some fresh
air
she can thrive

a flower knows
where
she should go
and in due
time
she will grow
but do not
worry
time goes slow

a flower learns
who
she's meant to be
but still she
knows
its not easy
to live a
life
but only breathe
Day Mar 2016
Let him in
Want him out
Don't know the words to say
All alone
Not by myself
The darkness came to play.
Hear my cry
On deaf ears fall
The pain is here to stay.
It's late.
Day Jan 2016
A moment of insanity
became the death
of everything I am
Day Dec 2016
Forty-four, the minutes tick down
to mass ****** (some may say suicide)


Twenty minutes in
the children start screaming
A voice begging mothers to force feed poison
down the throats of their young

A woman stands up, to fight for her rights
to be shoved down by angry souls
"Your life means nothing without his."
Hatred is spewed in her face

And as I listen, my heart breaks
These people all sought for peace and rest
only to think that death was the answer
the only true release

Ten minutes left and chaos erupts
Children line up for a drink, encourages and kept still
A weak understanding of where to go next
Silent tears streaming as mama closes her eyes

Forty four minutes, and silence is heard
909 souls gone on to wander
looking for something better
and, god, I hope they found their peace.
I'm writing a research paper on the Jonestown  Massacre and it really has made me question alot of things. Morals and the way I carry myself in life. The last recording of them really broke me
Day Jan 2019
i thought safety and happiness came hand in hand
but turns out sanity still isn't my friend
Day Oct 2015
push me until i fall,
in love,
with the cliff
you would think the person closest to me would care
Day Jun 2019
which is worse?
no-one or everyone
understanding
how it feels
Day Nov 2018
I think that I am blessed with life.
This morning I woke up warm and safe,
with a kind man next to me to kiss on the face.

I have been granted the ability to work.
I have a welcoming space to earn a living,
with a wonderful boss who is kind and giving.

I still have the privilege to text my mother.
She is a sweet woman with a kind heart -
loves who I am even though our beliefs sometimes part.

But today I woke up and my heart still feels heavy.
I feel unworthy of this body I've been given,
and my mind overworks without my permission.

Depression does not care about my positive days.
Even though I am blessed I struggle with pain,
and constantly still I fight with this dreadful brain.

But day after day I will never give up.
For too many people are counting on me,
and encouraging that one day I shall be free.

So *******, Depression!
Today I woke up and continued to breathe
and while sometimes it's hard I have faith in me.
Day Nov 2015
never underestimate the power
desperation
it can make people do
unthinkable
things.
Day Oct 2018
sunshine blinded me

and my words
v a n i s h e d
like that august air
Day Jan 2016
you carry my heart in you're back pocket
only taking it out
when it's convenient for you
Day Dec 2018
this body was build with autopilot,
so guess i'm worth more then I thought
Day Oct 2015
i have a bulimic personality
taking in
more and more
until
all at once,
i snap,
throwing up words
of regret,
then looking down
at what i've done,
and
hating
myself.
sigh
Day Jul 2019
How am I supposed to plan a future?
When, I don't even know
who the **** I am today.
Day Jun 2019
It's hard to pause thoughts twirling
when lady earth just keeps on swirling.
Try to keep my head in the air,
but if I fall,
why should she care?
Day Jun 2018
today I feel like finding a bridge
and ending it all
blaring angry lyrics
scream "*******" as I fall

but in the silence
I find peace
and in the distance
we've felt release
Day May 2019
or does she just
feel their cry?

Never could ask
them why.

Just wait around
to dry.

Maybe next time,
she'll say
high.
playing in my thoughts tonight
Day Nov 2015
don't ask me to tell you that
i don't love you
because
i'm tired of lying to you
but don't ask me to tell you that
i love you
because
i'm scared of how you will respond
Day Dec 2015
shush,
now is not the time for
"I regret........"
now is the time to
*move on.
Day Nov 2015
you won't be alone
in your darkest hour because
you will
always
have me.
Day May 2015
If I jump,                                                        Don't Let Me                                
.                                               Y                F                              
.                                      L                         A                        
.                            F                                  L                  ­    
     .    Just Let Me                                        L                
I don't really know why I made this. It just kinda popped into my mind.
Day Oct 2017
in your bed
the sweetest of sleep
in your arms
the truest of peace
close my eyes
hear, please dream of me
darling,...
*
I always do
Day Jan 2016
mind drifting
pain lifting
to a place of perfection
no more chaos
no more lay-off
just me and my affection
thoughts away
time to stay
in a world of no detection
but dawn awaits
all my fates
are here from resurrection
the light shines true
i always knew
there'd be a recollection
Day Feb 2017
i am lying in the center of the universe, far as the eye can see
every planet, star, constellation all lying in the center of me

my breath ,moon dust, swirling in the oxygen i consume
,even filled with all of existence i will still make room

my heart overfills and spills the light of all the stars
yet, his space compares to that between the earth and mars

i never believed in heaven, but maybe a  celestial place
till a star fell from the sky and i looked upon his face

him and i, are nothing special, nor above the rest
but somehow the universe lies between his and my chest

we are lying in the center of the universe, far as the eye can see
every planet, star, constellation all lying at the center of him and me
thanks for all the love guys
Day Nov 2015
when looking to help,
don't give a man a life jacket
when he's dying
of thirst
because kindness born from ignorance
can be
just as cruel
as hatred born from pain.
Day Jan 2019
Please don't take it
from me,
I have nothing else.
I simply need you to
acknowledge my existence.
Self-branding is just *another* form of mutilation.
Day Feb 2016
(Happy) For a minute
(Sad) For a while
(Lonely) Till someone's near
(Depressed) Fake a smile
(Hyper) All has past
(Angry) Don't know why
(Void) I don't know
(Anxious) Time to cry
(Happy) Feeling better
(Mad) Maybe not
(Exited)Here we go
(Empty) Time to stop
Day Jan 2019
HELP WANTED
Looking for a better weapon to fight this vulnerability
Day Jan 2016
I'm an angel in disguise
You just can't see past
The broken wings
Day Oct 2015
honestly, you need to smile more. you're laugh makes me so happy.
you're courage gives me strength. never let go of that.
i'm afraid if one day you stop smiling,
i'll stop,
being.
i'm in such a mood to write, but i have so little time.
Day Nov 2018
Please forgive my silence.

I don't know where to start.

My voice cannot project
the volume of my heart.
*mute
Day Apr 2016
I tried to be as real as I could but,
somehow as I look around
My only friends are empty dolls with happy faces.
I'm just a girl
with nothing but plastic and
imaginary loves.
No better off then my little sister,
I hope never grows up.
My minds been empty lately/
Day Oct 2015
Words to me are like paper planes,
some fall instantly,
some go on and on and on,
but in the end,
all are forgotten.
i don't really know why I wrote this. it just seemed to make sense to me i guess.
Day Sep 2018
Am I now become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
Day May 2015
Someday* I''ll wear a genuine smile,
but for *now
,
I'll just wear this one.
smile depression sadness cut pain hurt thoughts
Day Nov 2015
when people in america (or many other countries) say
"i have nothing to be thankful for"
it upsets me because
being "poor" in america is nothing compared to being
poor in many other places
it frustrates me that people with nothing to eat but grass can find
more
to be thankful about then
someone with endless possibilities of success
stop
complaining
about
what you
don't
have and be thankful
for everything that you
**do
just be happy and thankful
Day Apr 2017
I once had a mother, who gave me away
Though time gone, never forgot her name
Years pass, thoughts of her the same
As a child, a game I would play
Maybe this time she'll come back and stay
Eventually, my heart took the blame
"Whose fault" now is the game
As I look back from then to this day
Who hurt me the most, that I could not recover?
What set off this bomb in my heart?
Why couldn't I land on my feet?
She gave up her role as my mother...
Tearing my soul apart
Wondering if I'm worth it to keep.
Playing with new concepts and rhyme scheme
Day May 2015
Quiet calm in the night,
An owl fly's through the forest,
A mouse runs from death.
Day Nov 2016
you told me in the beginning about your memory
and how you had a tendency to forget things
and so when my name started to slip your mind
it made sense to me
you told me I was more
but I knew I was nothing but a thing to you
Day Nov 2019
Quick,
take a pic
or maybe, 26!

Show my smile.
Stay still for a mile.

A picture's worth
a thousand words
but,
I don't have
a clever caption.
I almost hit a homeless man with my car while scrolling #haha #irony #firstworldproblems
Day Aug 2016
Once,I knew a girl so well
her eyes were bright and bold
her tongue had ,oh, so much to tell
and all of it was told

She skipped with childish joy and glee
Always squealing in delight
Arms swinging wild and free
Smiling big and bright

In life, the farthest she had gone,
was up and down her street.
A scooter and a backpack on
the pavement slapped her feet.

"Don't go beyond where I can spot.",
her mother often said.
"I know, I know, I will not."
The girl answered,and nodded with her head.

As it always seems to do,
unknown lurked in her mind,
but mother said no to you
she often did remind

But that smirk and joy did return
and ,Oh, how could it not?
She was ten and she would learn,
of all that she had sought.

Puffed her chest and started off,
she couldn't be scared now.
Without a tremble or a cough,
she made herself a vow.

Turn the corner, yes I will!
No waver in her mind.
My mamma said to be still,
but I am not that kind.


But before the corner could she had,
Streetlights began to shine.
She turned back and sighed a tad,
"Tomorrow its surely mine"

For as I said, she was but ten,
and only 4 feet high.
Her bedtime came time and again,
but still she'd always try.

But time when on and on my friend
and sometime far away
when time at home came to an end,
*she wished that she could stay
Please tell me what you think!!
Day Oct 2016
Oh how scary it is, to know so little
to feel like a rabbit running in circles
when every one is telling you to run in squares

Oh how scary it is, to be so out there
with no one to hold your shaking hand
and to have nothing to be proud of

Oh how scary it is, to fake a smile
and tell everyone how excited you are
but you feel like an overturned turtle

Oh how scary it is, to be next in line
gripping tightly at dollars and dimes
but not yet knowing what you want

Oh how scary it is
to not be ready
You guys, I'm so unprepared. I have no idea what I am doing. I feel like everyone has their life put together and that I am just a  mess. I have no idea about college. My parents are helping either (with applying or tuition) I'm trying tho
Day Oct 2015
i wanted you to be the last thing on my mind,
and i wanted you to be the reason i close my eyes,
but i can't sleep and,
oh god, i wanted to be your high,
but everything i said went unheard,
and everything you saw,
with eyes straight blurred,
became my down fall.
-Eden
How some words can make me think towards you.
Day Aug 2019
What is the definition of myself?
A modpodge rendition of a pinterest post I saw?
A poem I wrote drunk off my ***?
A half-hearted rhyme I can't tie tother?
This is not a poem. It's my life.
Day Oct 2018
In your arms,
this ghostly heart
wants to live.
happy halloweekend
Day Dec 2015
alice......
*remember that even though
you
escaped
the looking glass
you'll never escape
yourself
Day Jan 2016
i breathed him only once,
but that was enough,
to become addicted

Day Nov 2015
to all the girls he was
"hot"
but really all he ever wanted to be was
"smart"
he never took his shirt off because
he was scared that they would
instantly
label him as just another piece of
good-looking meat
but he wanted to be more then that
he wanted to be  known for
his smile
not
his abs
he wanted someone to say
"he's an amazing writer"
not
"he's pretty ****"
but in this society
thinking like that gets you nowhere
it leaves you alone and beaten
so he hid
he covered his insecurity of his skin
and pushed past it
because he was strong
even though every part of him felt
weak
he was determined to be
strong
he would prove to the world that
a man can be
both
strong and smart
both
****  and artsy
because he wanted people to love him
for more then just
his skin
because he knew deep down
we are all so much more
*then that
i wrote this because i think that, yes, while women are treated without respect alot of times, that men are also forced to meet impossible standards and are far to often overshadowed by muscles and strength and should be allowed to be "weak" in a sense. I think that it is unfair of women to be expected to be treated as fragile while thrusting these opinions of what a "real man" should be on men. I find it disgusting that in todays world that sometime we overlook a guy just because there is another guy who may be "hotter". There are so many, many men out there who are smart, and funny and have beautiful smiles who are alone because of ignorance. I love all of you guys who feel like you're not enough because maybe you're not fit as someone else or because you're not as comfortable with your body. I love you *HUGS*
Day Nov 2016

sometimes a lack of words
feels better
than trying to explain


i am alone
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