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Dec 2019 · 143
Patience
Melyda Dec 2019
Don't get upset or distressed
I know it seems bad but it's not the worst
I would still wait days or even years for you
But let's just have hope, trust, and patience My Love
Dec 2019 · 193
Difficulty
Melyda Dec 2019
You and I
Will get through this difficulty
Our passion will conquer anything in our way
Dec 2019 · 57
Untitled
Melyda Dec 2019
I still want to love you
Even when you stab me with your thorns
Because I know how fragile and pure you are
I just want you to find peace and happiness through my love
No matter how much I may bleed from you
Dec 2019 · 63
Never gonna sleep again
Melyda Dec 2019
My mind won't rest until....
Until you've calm down from this act
You say you love me but all I felt was a cold breeze
Don't say that because I know the way you are
You own me because I want you to
Just tell me what's on your mind
I'll stay up night and day pondering about you
And what the hell is going on with you
I love you and that's all you need to know
My heart is starting to bleed but I don't care
I want to press on and save you even if I'm left with scars
Dec 2019 · 42
Untitled
Melyda Dec 2019
Why are you acting up?
Why won't you just spit it out
I feel like I'm dying slowly
It ******* hurts when you say that **** with a smile
You know I love you
But what what's on your mind tonight?
All I just want is you
Why won't you let me have you?
Why won't you just say those 3 words?
I won't go to sleep with this uneasiness
I'm trying but why do you have to be like this?
I love you so much but what about you?
Dec 2019 · 42
Piece by Piece
Melyda Dec 2019
I stumbled upon your broken soul
You were so sweet and gentle
I couldn't help but love you and embrace you
I can feel your love but it flickers time to time
I'm just trying to mend you piece by piece
It hurts knowing you feel like this
Like I'm nothing and have done nothing to ease you
I'm scared to let you slip and fall
But mainly because I'll just be lonely without you too
Calm down and hold me
Let me love you and fix you slowly
Piece by Piece
Dec 2019 · 168
Please....
Melyda Dec 2019
Please let me patch up your pain
I never meant to cause you any
Please let me show my love for you
It hurts when you reject my affection
Please have more faith in me
I'm all yours and none else's but why can't you feel that?
Please feel my love and accept that it is all yours
My love is true with every touch and word I say to you
Dec 2019 · 54
Untitled
Melyda Dec 2019
I never knew that I needed you
You've helped me conquer so much
You've sparked a flame in my heart
But it feels like it's dying out
I feel so confused on what the hell is going on
You shine so brightly and give me hope and warmth
But it's so blinding and addicting
This sudden distance is throwing me off course
Maybe I'm just nothing and no one after all
I thought you needed me like I needed you
I can't help but shatter from this anxiety
I'm laying on the ground in pieces
Would you help rebuild me once again? or let me fade away?
Melyda Dec 2019
Trauma like sadness, anger, humiliation, loneliness, and abuse
Have wrecked my mind and my fragile heart
This is why I can't even feel anymore
I just want to feel light and airy
But my heart is so broken and heavy with burdens
It hurts so much and this pain seems to resume once again
I just want you to clear this pain out of me
If you're still here standing by my side
But I can't tell anymore because I'm so blind by the light
Dec 2019 · 56
Anxiety Attack
Melyda Dec 2019
I'm going insane right now
I'm waiting and waiting and waiting
But you just so happen to become occupied
In those last 3 minutes
It feels like it was more than a coincidence like it was on purpose
My head feels like it's gonna burst from rage or paranoia
Maybe you're mad or sad or idk
I can't sit still when I'm thinking about you
I wonder how much longer I'll have to wait for your return
But I would wait an eternity just for you My Love
Dec 2019 · 71
Anxious
Melyda Dec 2019
There you go again
On your little adventures
While I'm stuck in my room
I don't hate you nor love you
We get along well but don't get offended
When I complain about all your possessions
We live under the same roof yet I do so much
And I get so much less and they don't give a ****
Maybe because I'm just a **** girl
I'll never feel love from this family
It only causes me anxiousness
Now I'm sitting in my bed crying
If you caught me then I would be left with bruises
You won't ever help me instead you'd always make things worse
Saying that everything is my fault
I feel so neglected and deprived
This feeling cripples my insides
Telling me to just fade away until I die
Dec 2019 · 92
<3
Melyda Dec 2019
<3
I love you
I don't want to hurt you
But I think you've got it wrong
I'm not even sure how far your love lies
You were someone to me that needed nurture and embrace
Maybe if I wasn't so numb then I would truly fall for you
I know I should be feeling a certain way right now
I can only feel logically if that even makes sense
Just know you make me laugh and feel at ease
But I can still feel compassion for ***
I'm too hollow to feel true love
I'll try to love you
The best I can <3
You deserve so much more <3333
Dec 2019 · 62
Last Night
Melyda Dec 2019
I seduced you into my paradise
I've got you on a collar and leash now
I know you can't stop wagging your tail when I'm around

You've pleasured me so well
You're tongue causes me to leak
I can feel you growing hotter and harder
As I keep cuming on your lips and moaning

You know I'm fragile but you still slide in hard
Even if I beg you to stop you'll just pick up the pace
You're rod feels so slick and smooth like metal
I can't help but bounce up and down on you
As your hands explore my body
Dec 2019 · 59
Limits
Melyda Dec 2019
I'm not sure how far the limits go
But I love you and I just want to cherish you as long as I can
Dec 2019 · 152
Let me get lost
Melyda Dec 2019
I want to runaway far from here
Onto a mountainside of green grass and flowers
I would do nothing but sleep and gaze at the sky
I would die to see a purple starlit sky in the middle of nowhere
I would love dance with the stars as they flicker and shine
I would have a toasty bonfire with lots of s'mores
Even if I'm alone it'll be okay because I'll have the moon and stars
Dec 2019 · 27
To My Unknown Lover
Melyda Dec 2019
It feels like I'm silently choking
When I think of you
But it's too late for that
Christmas is around the corner
I'm all alone again
Without you I feel like I'm dead
Life has been lonely, dull, and cruel
But I've already gotten used to that
I almost feel bad about leaving you
But we were always complicated
Especially for me and you knew that too
My love for you was true
Your love seemed real but I'll never know
And that will always pain me
I just hope that you have moved on
And that you haven't shot your brain out
We fell helplessly for each other
But after a year my circumstances became difficult
And I had to leave you all alone
I know that you're so tough and fierce
But not when it comes to emotions
I know I'm so ******* mean to make you cry
But at that time I questioned everything
Because I just wanted to die
I thought you would save me but no one can
I'm sorry if you're still hurt
I shouldn't even be thinking about us
But I can't help to feel sad
Because of my own loneliness and selfishness
Dec 2019 · 86
Golden Retriever
Melyda Dec 2019
You're like a golden retriever
You gave me such a sweet innocent stare
Even while yapping foul words to others
Your movements are so swift and playful
As your ***** blonde hair flops up and down
Your kindness has charmed me
You're too caring to the likes of strangers and me
I hate it but you make my heart swell from time to time
I know I'll get over this and you
But I don't want to....
Dec 2019 · 83
Tough
Melyda Dec 2019
Just because I work on my physique
Doesn't mean that I'm tough
Just because I don't show emotion
Doesn't mean that I'm tough
Just because I like giving death glares
Doesn't mean that I'm tough
Just because I'm usually alone
Doesn't mean that I'm tough
Just because I don't cry in public
Doesn't mean that I'm tough

It only means that I look tough
I'm so soft on the inside
But you would never know that
Dec 2019 · 30
Sad AF
Melyda Dec 2019
idk why but ive been feelin Sad AF latley
i cant even feel anymore
ive been so neglected & deprived
i dwell on this too much
i wont ever fly again or at least be caught
*** all i can do is fall
i need to be saved
but i already know whats meant to be
ill just stay lonely and cold
things wont ever change
if they stay the same
i wanna be alone but not really
i cant help but feel anxious
knowing that ill never be saved
but im a recluse & a mess
after each long day of school
i curl up in a ball
and cry like the broken & pathetic **** i am
i hate hiding the truth
*** it only makes things hurt more
but i cant show the real way i am
i hate being weak & fragile
i wont need anybody else
if noone needs me
i hate this reciprocal rejection
*** im the only whos missing it all
i just want peace but even i cant get that
let alone joy or love
everything just slips thru my hands
im so scared of losing those
who have given me their warmth and time
especially you who know my demons
just the thought makes me terrified and Sad AF
Dec 2019 · 38
Untitled
Melyda Dec 2019
Emotions are hard to hold on too
Especially happiness and love
I've been torn apart too many times
They've escaped me leaving me dull and low
All I can ever feel is pain
Anger, sadness, depression, and loneliness...
All I will ever know is trauma and emptiness
There is no middle or sweet spot to it
I really wonder if I'm still human
Dec 2019 · 21
Thanatophobia
Melyda Dec 2019
For a moment I was scared
So **** terrified of dying

It all ends right then and there
It's just only you some unknown being
God, Satan, or who knows what?!

My life is so boring but painful
But losing the life I have right now
Makes me anxious and fearful
Especially what is yet to come after Life
Dec 2019 · 476
Ode to Chrysanthemum Tea
Melyda Dec 2019
You are my wondrous drug
So sweet and seductive to my brain
Yellow like the sun but tastes like honey
You've charmed me and my pain
I could enjoy you on any day
You make me feel joyous
I cherish every sip I take
Melyda Dec 2019
You treat him like a rabid dog
Giving him all the care, treats and toys
Because he eats drugs to regulate himself

You treat me like a monster
Even though you say that I'm "normal"
But you won't ever see my Illness in my head

I need care, treats, and toys just like him
I never can talk things out with you
Unless I'm screaming and crying
He gets all these nice morsels
While I starve but it's ironic
Because he became irregular by eating too much
He gets all the latest gadgets while I have nothing
It only makes everything a little better
But without it I feel bitter as hell
Dec 2019 · 54
69
Melyda Dec 2019
69
I'm laying on top of your body
You're grabbing my thighs and spreading them
So you can eat me alive
Your tongue feels so hot and good in me
Oh I can't help but enjoy every moment
My lips are around the tip of it
Slowly kissing and licking it well
I can feel you getting harder and warmer every second
I start grabbing and stroking it
As it's still deep within my throat
You start going in with your long fingers
Thrusting them back and forth hard
Until I become a mess
Dec 2019 · 33
Dreams
Melyda Dec 2019
I'm down on my knees for you
You stare into my almond eyes
And grin as I devour you
You grip my head hard as you push and pull
Tears flow out of my eyes
You go deep and I gag hard
Then I swallow your substance whole

Your body still feels cold
I know you need my warmth
So I give you some
I let you come inside of me
Slow but deep
It hurts but pain is pleasure
I let you dominate me
And play rough
Until I'm dripping
Dec 2019 · 33
Ravenous Wolf
Melyda Dec 2019
I'm a wolf
Trapped in a young fragile body
I'm starving so badly
It makes me enraged at others
All I want to do is make them sorry
For their words, actions, sins, and for themselves
But I'm so very weak
My anger posses me
I just want to go all out on a killing spree
I don't care if they call me a monster
I'm just so ******* ravenous
Dec 2019 · 359
Barbed Wires
Melyda Dec 2019
I wrap barbed wires around my body
To protect myself from others
Even if it hurts me more than them
Dec 2019 · 30
I will always be me
Melyda Dec 2019
I will never be like you or like her, or even her
I'll always be myself an no one else
But that won't make me special
Only those who have beauty
Can live in this disgusting society
Those who aren't, are suffering
I feel like I have nothing
When compared to others
I will never be loved
Because of my rotten appearance
"That's how life works" they say
And it's ******* true
No one is ever gonna give me a chance
It's alright though
I'm used to this sickening lonesomeness
I will always be ignored and shunned
For the way I was born
I don't even want much
But people have such high standards
It really makes me want to die
I just want to be myself
And hope someone will accept me for who I am
But I've already lost faith
I'll just die as another so alone and bitter
It's alright though
I can never rely on others
Especially those who are backstabbers
I don't ever want to be used or hurt
I'm in it for the long run
But people have given up so easily
I feel trapped with these monsters
Who have no one to stop them
I hate how everyone is so simple-minded
I would never give up myself for a change
I wonder if anybody would really fall for a mess like me
All I want is to be real and true
I will always be myself
Dec 2019 · 51
I don't want anything....
Melyda Dec 2019
Does it even matter anymore?
All you do is take from me
You might as well take my life away
I won't ever be happy
It hurts so much to watch it all go and them too
Maybe I should just give up everything
So you can't take away things that I don't even have
I don't want anything anymore...
Dec 2019 · 339
I am....
Melyda Dec 2019
I am sad
I am happily bitter
I am secretly depressed
I am wanting for more things
I am hopeless and loveless
I am nothing but trouble
I am full of darkness
I am undesirable
I am lost
Dec 2019 · 47
On the Verge
Melyda Dec 2019
Death greets me and flirts
He draws me closer
He accompanies me in these lone cold nights
He makes me sad but happy
It's hard to sleep knowing that he's always waiting
But I'm waiting too
I yearn for simple things that I will never have
Death gives me hope
To be free and to be at peace even alone and cold
I'm might just give in to Death
He tempts me more than he needs to
Death will surely save me
If no one else won't
Dec 2019 · 35
Gloom
Melyda Dec 2019
My chest starts to ache and tremble
Shadows begin to take over my mind
It traps me so I can never escape agony
But I can never seem to get it out
Maybe this is how its meant to be
It'll consume me until there is nothing left
I rather go before it wins
No one would really care anyway
I'm not the center of somebody's world
I felt like a bystander my whole life
I've watched the good and the bad happen
But I'm never involved
I want to be engulfed in bitter coldness
Because I never once deserved warmth
Dec 2019 · 57
Snowfall
Melyda Dec 2019
The snowfall is gentle and light
It puts me at ease seeing wonderful whiteness
But it makes me so cold and sad
I'm enjoying this moment alone
My heart beat is going off tempo
As I sit and ponder about this distress
Dec 2019 · 107
Fantasy
Melyda Dec 2019
Our lips tastes each others
Your hands caress my bare body
From my hips down to my thighs
I can feel your hunger taking over
And you know I crave it too
You kiss my neck and go further down
My body aches for more as you tease me
You slide it in hard but it only feels better
I tremble as you hit harder and faster
I let out soft and fragile moans
My sweaty palm clutches yours
As you squeeze mine
You release your juice inside of me
I can hear your deep rigid breathes calming down
As you begin to fall asleep next to me
Dec 2019 · 131
Thirsty
Melyda Dec 2019
Open yourself to me
I'll bare my fangs
And partake from
Your juicy red Heart
I'll give you mine
If it's what you desire
I don't bite hard
I promise I'll be gentle
But please be my supplier
Dec 2019 · 68
Please....
Melyda Dec 2019
If there was one thing I would ask you
Then please let me die this time
I've died too many times
Now please, let me die for real
I can't bottle up these emotions
Without hurting myself or craving death
This loop will never seize
Let Death save me because no one is ever coming to my rescue
Let me finally be in peace and in joy
Can you really punish me because of my pain that causes my madness?
Please let me die happy and free
While my hair is tangled in the breeze and my eyes are star-glazed
Please just let me die
Think of it as Death saving me
Please....
Dec 2019 · 22
Suicide
Melyda Dec 2019
My life is so bleak
and so painful
I just want to slip away
But how and where?
I've been pondering
for who knows how long?

I could lynch myself
I could pop a pill
I could stab my beating heart
I could shoot my brains out
I could do so much more.

It's so hard to feel something good
I'm just on the ground
Gazing at the intouchable stars  
I almost felt whole for second
I wish I could drown in the night sky
Dec 2019 · 30
Monster
Melyda Dec 2019
My head has fallen
onto maggot infested muds
While my body drowns
In the Winter cold

I feel like I'm wandering
Like a lost black sheep
I feel so empty
And so small

A monster prowls the day and night
Looking for an easy morsel like me
I let it slowly tear me apart
As I watch it become satisfied with my own blood

I have shrunken so many times
It strips my flesh into shreds
As my blood stains myself
I'm so weak and so lonely

I don't fight back nor even try to run
I know it sounds stupid
But I can't stop this Monster on my own
I'll let it feed off of me until I am no more

If it's really meant to be
Then I'll die from this Beast
Unless Someone chooses to save me
A Little black sheep that's lost
Dec 2019 · 34
Stop
Melyda Dec 2019
Stop rejecting me
Stop rejecting my personality
Stop making me depressed
Stop interfering with my hard work
Stop abusing me
Stop ******* up my life
Stop being your nasty self
Stop being so arrogant and entitled to ****
Stop being so negative and insensitive
Stop hurting your own child(me)
Just stop living you piece of ****!
Dec 2019 · 39
qv65^%&O*n;l,fdfg
Melyda Dec 2019
I don't have anything at all
I feel so lost in my emotions
That aren't even here
I wish I could could feel
Something good again
Everybody is so caught up
On money, ***, drugs, and alcohol
I feel so disconnected from this disgusting society
Everybody says I'm too young and dumb
Little do they know that I'm numb
But maybe I'm just too nice
I just wish I was asleep from all this nonsense
Dec 2019 · 46
It hurts....
Melyda Dec 2019
Your words ******* my insides
My head feels so cloudy and heavy
Fluid begins to drip out of my eyes
I'm sorry but it hurts to hear that
I wish my life would just end right now
I hate to keep hearing that but maybe it's just me
I like you and you hurt me without even knowing
But that makes me want to hate you for your insensitivity
I knew this would have to be like this
I've felt it all along and it hurts....
Dec 2019 · 33
Cus of u
Melyda Dec 2019
If i was dead *** of u
How'd u feel?
You never said one f thing back
O i waited for an eternity
We felt close but maybe not
*** happened to you?
Idc if you've been taken or not
We still have this bond
I never really wanted much
But ur ****** me up with this distance
I give up, loneliness will **** me
I just wanted a friend :'(
Dec 2019 · 44
Untitled
Melyda Dec 2019
They only seek the best
They pay for their pleasure
They want all that they can get
But more is less

They get so high
Never thinking about the future
No regrets they say
But it's only temporary

They seem so lustful and aggressive
Yet they're so broken on the inside
Peasants like them won't ever be saved by a Queen
They take what they can get

They get so low when intoxicated with liquor
All they can do is ponder and cry alone
Heartbreaks, action, women, money.........
The use substitutes to erase their flaws but it only hurts more
Sad bad boys.
Dec 2019 · 109
Untitled
Melyda Dec 2019
Heart contractions are slowing down
Head becomes drowsy
Eyes feeling heavy and vision goes dark

My body doesn't want to move
My head spins with lightness
All I can see is delightful darkness

I feel so numb but that's okay
I'm empty but it feels good at the same time
I could die any second but I wouldn't care at all
Melyda Dec 2019
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F you.
Dec 2019 · 129
You
Melyda Dec 2019
You
All I wanted was bits of your time
Am I really that worthless?
I hope you're not dying on me
I'm already lonely enough
I wanted this to last
But I'm not sure what to really say
All I ever do is wait like a dog
I still want to hear what you have to say
I know I'm nothing compared to you
But you are the only one that praises me
I wonder if you see me as a nesence now
Or if my words still intrigue you
You used to wait for me
But I think you're waiting for something new
:(
Dec 2019 · 38
Time
Melyda Dec 2019
Did I break time?
Nothing seems to ever change
I'm still the old broken me
I can't grow anymore
I feel so prickly and lonely
I'm trying but nothing progresses
There's no point in hurting anymore
I could just leave anytime I want
From misery and the people who hate me
I wish time wasn't broken for me
Dec 2019 · 38
Dying..........
Melyda Dec 2019
I'm dying for attention
I'm just another lonely being
My insanity is deteriorating
I just want to be less alone
And to feel okay for the moment
I need to **** this isolation
Before it kills me
It's so cold and cruel
I'm thinking where the hell are you?
I'm trying to **** time the best I can
But I'll take anyone I can
I just want someone's attention
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