.

Sluggish, my eyes barely focus,
headlights seem faint
through this cracked windshield
in heavy traffic, bending lanes
with detour signs collecting travelers
like gas station snow globes,
displayed in between blurred white lines

Monstrous *** holes shake me awake
from the thoughts crawling
deep within a weary mind,
a casualty of a night to forget
which will not soon be forgotten
as digital numbers, glaring red
catch my eye and I see . . . 5:38 am

Darkness instantly engulfs the cab of this truck,
dash lights cringe and flash hypnotically,
out of round tires draw skid marks
on a lonely winding pavement
As my feet fall through the floor boards,
scraping on glass shard encrusted asphalt
bleeding beyond the speed limit

White knuckles grip the wheel
while doors become giant guillotines,
slashing at faux leather seats,
exposing rancid foam leaking
battery acid on the engine’s severed heads
Everything begins to spin, losing control,
as I finally screech to a halt at a stubborn traffic light

When I glance to my right and I see her,
singing along with her radio,
more beautiful than any song I’ve ever heard
She notices me staring and smiles,
then rolls down her window and blows me a kiss,
I roll down mine as she points to a little coffee shop
and says, “Care to join me?”  I nod in agreement

I once again catch a glimpse of the clock . . . 5:39 am,
but suddenly time no longer matters

.

How many long days,
how many lonely days,
how many silent days
will it take
till I stop checking the clock,

**** it!

Beyond the weary water line
alone in quelled explore
These footprints lead uncharted miles,
the first of many more

To wander in a time once known,
reflective worries gleam
In sand dune wishes washed away
and thoughts of what they mean

This setting sun shall rise again,
bring mornings to their due
Softer shades to paint the way
hypnotic scenes to view

While on this beach of moon lit swirls
I count each star above
These tiny lights of missing you,
still glisten of our love

When now this silent vacant space,
misplaced of harmony
Where shadows play of times before
and what this world could be

Sitting here these shifting sands,
my heart does swim the tide
Ebb and flow desires sung,
of tear drops cast aside

When there a distant light appears,
so deep within my stare
A silhouette of fantasy
approaching glistened flair

I rub my eyes, once blurry, cleared
for this that I now see
Along a coast of sea foam dreams,
you walking here to me

To take me swift into your arms
dark eyes to meet my gaze
Longing for the past returned
of brighter sunny days

With lips afire on my own
and rapid pulses pace
The glow of evening’s summer light
awash upon your face

I watch as you proceed to draw
a big heart in the sand
Encompassing the two of us
within it we now we stand

Lulled of curved horizon’s smile,
immersed this blushing sky
Drenched in breaths of only you
and every sultry sigh

With midnight song and passion’s bliss
we stroll again this sea
Like waves that fall our endless strand
forever, you and me

Beware of prophets
with pencil and paper,
lower case amulets
worn like a charm,
dangling lures, shiny
nothing up their sleeves

Phrase-like indulgence
plastered on street lights,
counted and numbered,
scratched below the surface,
slight of hand gestures
tickling termites and maggots,
off shoots of decency

Dramatic detachments
re-glued and fastened,
revolving exits doors
spun out of control

Now you see me,
now you don’t
Abracadabra, like magic
in the hands of cheerleaders,
in the hearts of followers,
in the pockets of prophets,
in the end, the kool aid,
the cliff,
the disappearance

Hocus pocus
and they all fall down
into an abyss
of hypocrisy

.

*O’ crooked branch and magpie’s claw,
yon rusted chains a’ sway this night
Clutch tight a sign “The Seagull's Squall”
of splintered wood and storm clouds fight
Old tavern lone this craggy shore
where angered waves accost the sand
and drenching rains from heavens pour,
whilst thunder boasts its loud command

On creaking stools with painted legs
'long the bar, a gathered crew
Expected flow from aging kegs
a frothy crown this lagered brew
Fills tankards held of one now gone
'midst pewter death in golden ale
In drunk'n stupor sorrows shown
lost at sea, his soul last sailed

Watching cloaked of shadowed mist
in darkened corner, lingered smoke
O’er long goodbyes on echoes twist
and couraged voices soundly spoke
Weaving tales a' journeys past,
voyages beyond the deep
Ports o’ call and forth day cast,
of treasures that abound to reap  

When one, a glass above his head
beckons silence, moments slow
Respect, our mate now swallow'd dead,
entombed within the depths below
Then hearty cheers and farewell speak,
this touching scene if one would be
A ghostly tear now falls my cheek,
this fallen mate they cheer is me

.

Somewhere beyond today

the future slow dances with fate

as our hearts sing
in harmony

with yesterday’s love song
played to the melody of

all of our tomorrows

Soft are the wings of the firefly princess
Twilight the scene of her flickering dance
Pine needle whispers aflutter of springtime
Alone on this evening in search of romance

Warm April breezes caressing her body
Slumbering daffodils, gold leaf embossed
Shining, her beacon illumines the valley
Twinkling sorrow of love she had lost

Wandering sadly neath evergreen niches  
Shadows and silhouettes bend at her glow
Hard to imagine her tiny heart broken
Far from the beauty this night she does show

When then she sees him alone on a hillside
A pen in his hand as he quietly writes
Silently floating, she lands on his shoulder
Kind is his face that her glow gently lights

Noticing teardrops upon his cheeks falling
“Why are you crying?” she asks him sincere
Startled, he looks at her, eyes wet and weary
“Oh little firefly, what has brought you here?”

He turned away gazing up at the moonlight
Then shook his head as more words he wrote down
“I miss her so much,” he said in a whisper
His mouth once he finished returned to a frown

She knew how he felt for her heart it was broken
One winter’s evening, a cold misty day
Taken from sleep by her jealous big sister
Evil her magic had whisked him away

Just then she noticed that things felt familiar
Something about him jarred her memory
It can not be, visions rambled within her
This can not be my love taken from me  

“If I may ask sir, please when did you lose her?”
She fluttered her wings so excited to hear
Her light now as bright as the full moon above them
Here on this hillside the skies ever clear

“It’s hard to remember, but sometime last winter,
a sorceress came on the solstice I think
From by her side I was suddenly taken,
found myself here just as quick as a wink”

“Since then I’ve cried on this hillside we frolicked,
writing her poetry, words how I feel
Sorrow and sadness in harmonic phrases,
verses my broken heart could not conceal”

“The saddest part is, it is merely a feeling,
only the love is what I can recall
I know she was real for my heart does remind me,
the rest is a blur, almost nothing at all”

She thought and she thought of her wicked old sibling
Remembering tears drops from lovers that fell
When mixed together might change what had happened
Glistening together, they could break the spell

She took one of hers that she saved since December
Flew to his cheek were a steady stream flowed
Placed her own teardrop within his now weeping
To her amazement, his body it glowed

Shimmering sparkles like fireworks bursting
A magical sheen filled the heavens above
A blink of her eye and he changed right before her
He now was a firefly, the one that she loved

His eyes grew as wide as a sunflower smiling
Flapping his wings like he’d never before
Looking at her, his light brightly was gleaming
He said, “I remember, you’re the one I adore”

He was so happy, he flew up and kissed her
“I missed you,” he said “never leave me again
We’ll fly and we’ll hide far away from your sister”
Then he looked down and he noticed his pen

He lifted it up and then flew to the paper
Flapping his wings he penned one final line
It read that they lived happily ever after
From now in this moment, till the end of time

.

The first time I kissed you

was the most amazing moment
in my entire life

and I would have held it
just a little while longer

if only I had known

it would

also be the last time

.

I sit alone atop a mountain
my guitar in hand
peering out over the valley below
beyond green patched rifts
playing in the key of lost dreams
fractured chords out of tune with
decisions in distorted decibels
high volume idiocy wailing
as I telecast amplified questions
which now return to me
in the feedback of my own doing

.

This is just another night
Lonely streets and flashing neon
Shadows moving, no eye contact
Brick facades push away steam

Walking slowly on dampened sidewalks
Head hung low wondering
Why this feeling continues, this crawl
Lost within the halls of my heart

Broken lines with no exit
Foreclosed affection in headlines
Written on the palm of my hand
Smearing in tear drops wiped

Yesterday was like a dream
You were mine, smiling, laughing
Sharing a day at the park on a painted bench
Watching silent paddle boats sleep

A May sun glistened on still waters
And birds sung softly overhead
When something was off, out of place… pieces
Our silhouettes slowly faded to one

Watching my sneakers form ruts
Swinging nervously back to front
Kicking dust up in my stomach
Where butterflies change to stone

Waiting for you, a setting sun
Flamed drizzling on my shoulders
Slumped reflections on a westward sky
As I still search to the north

Yes, this is just another night
Followed by just another day
An agonizing repetitive pattern
An agonizing repetitive pattern

.

As I count crows
sitting on the clothesline
I see a shape in the distance
that I do not recognize
I move a little closer
but the ash trees bring a sad shade
and the lawn flashes its blades,
cutting directly to the heart
in syncopated beatings
like chopping wood in August
when the last saw
is locked away in the shed

I wipe the sweat from my brow
with a scarf scented of past evenings
chasing fireflies and drinking iced tea,
foggy memories in place of
bi-focals smeared and blurred,
unable to focus on the sticker burrs
pulled from my socks,
hanging on for dear life,
let alone the figure approaching
just past the produce stand with
apples and aspargus in season

Still I look,
peering beyond a fractured arbor
of beer bottle skeletons
situated at the far corner
of nowhere’s homestead, off-white pickets
and a rusted gate now
overgrown and over sown
in rows of corn field miseries,
shucked and burned in a steel barrel
down by the mud creek minstrels
playing broken strings
and bent tubas

When I realize it is you
coming home to me,
walking through the sunflowers,
an effervescent blue sky background glows,
roses bloom in pinks and yellows,
robins tend to their young
beneath a rainbow of blessings
in assorted hues and feathers
as what was once what I dreamed
now slowly becomes what I see,
returning to its former beauty
and the sun shines again

.

You were skipping stones

and as I watched
a slowly arching ripple

gently kissing the shore

I found myself wishing
I was that ripple

and you were that shore

.

Watching her board bathed in fog at the station
Spectacles slide down the bridge of his nose
Usually a blur, not in this situation
Smudges can’t hide every beauty she shows

Lugging a satchel in high heels and cotton
In her left hand rests a statue that grins
Such an odd sight, this her concrete companion
Never you mind as the journey begins

Timidly calling the glass doors to open
Counting his change spread of nickels and dimes
Gasping for breath on a curb painted yellow
Escaping the past, oh those horrible times

Filled every row, ‘cept a seat near the driver
All eyes affixed as the vinyl bench sighs
Kicking her shoes to abbreviate blisters
Freedom is felt in the footwear goodbyes

Nervous he waves from the corner still pacing
Climbing the steps of a Westminster bus
Pulled at his limbs by another intrusion
Faking his mood so she thinks there’s a fuss

Taking a seat between cement and flannel
Rolling his eyes that he don’t mean at all
Watching her lips as she inhales discretely
Feeling his library heart start to fall

She tugs his ear with her thin ringless fingers
Whispers a secret he hopes comes to share
Hides from the window, the vehicle moving
Nary a glance towards the morning sun’s glare

She holds her gnome like her life is depending
When all she needs fills the seat right next door
Porcelain dust on her clothes has her sneezing
Handkerchief offered he nicked at the store

Such is the dream of a bookworm delivered
Finding the chapter he’d thought long ago
Angels and demons and pretzel tan loafers
Potholes and clues juggled way down below

What is this trail winding out to the country
She gives a smile so much more than the fare
Holding on tight to a vested creation
Seeking adventure of those debonair

Here now we find such an unlikely duo
Still in their eyes shines reflections of grace
She has her man and her plan contemplated
He has his heart in the very same place
  
Exhaust fumes emit in a paisley frost pattern
Corduroy sidewalks bid all a farewell
Searching for love is the now destination
What will they find, only time it will tell

And as a western of popcorn persuasion
Into the sunset, they fade in the glow
What once was billed as a short presentation
Nowhere on this page will “The End” now show

.

White Cliffs of Dover now sponsored in daydreams
Reading each billboard that rusts on the sky
Checking a map though it’s for the wrong city
She sends a smile to the wink of his eye

Overhead cords hang to signal a stopping
Pulled like a kite that is fighting a breeze
Setting his watch as if time is most urgent
Tiny the gesture to put her at ease

Anxious she strums atop metal and leather
Songs in her head dance at half past the price
Suddenly yanks as the trees are enormous
Grabbing her bag she does not ask him twice

****, screams the brakes and some passengers flying
Coffee and biscuits collide in the aisle
Fixing her hair like a debutante princess
Waits on the door and then exits in style

A tip of his hat to the fatherly captain
Treading deliberate, the stairs leading down
Adjusting his jacket lapels till they’re even
Spun, is her skirt as a fine evening gown

Coughing a hairball, the old engine rumbles
Sigh, moan the bi-folds directed to close
Noticing now that her left hand is empty
Lifting a stone from the shoulder, she throws

Causing a crack in the bug spattered windshield
The bus driver digs for his insurance card
Grumbles a curse word, his bible forsaken
Just a small pebble and not tossed so hard

She stands at the portal awaiting admission
Watches each eye as she fumbles about
Cheers to herself when her fingers meet plaster
Knows all too well it is no time to shout

Apologies gifted like Christmas in August
Promising beer with a head made of foam
When she appears on the exit step lower
In her left hand she now clutches her gnome

Into the lobby of lemon cake ceilings
Chandeliers glisten like ***** champagne
A tap on the bell wakes the concierge sleeping
“That was my dream!” comes his groggy complain

Currency shoveled the counter of granite
Not yet a bride nor a non-shaven groom
Still it is felt like a pink feathered boa
Lovebirds want cages, these two need a room

Holding his hand as they shuffle the staircase
Ornate the copper reflecting her grace
Wearing a smile that is sheepish and woolen
What waits the night paints the look on her face

He calls the bed, fears his ankles are swollen
She shuts the door to their quarters superb
Then slightly opened for placard replacement
Written in English reads, Do Not Disturb

This place is toxic,
it carries a weight
that will fall in the corner
with hearts listed fragile
and feelings agape
Swallowing reason
in populist pander
Singing the praises
which bark at the moon
Touching the skin
of a lonely world traveler
Jogging the distance
in words repeated

Beware of the smiles,
the frowns and the teardrops
gathered from distant borders
Taking the spirit
along on the breezes
Casting it forth
in a starless night
with biting fireflies,
electric stingers
glowing for even
the farthest of eyes
hoping only for happiness

Take caution when
spilling emotions,
painting vistas
in cranberry sighs
for blooming gardens
don’t always offer fragrance
in its most appealing form
Thorny revisions hurt,
trickling blood on the stone
A craggy thought
which will never
be a turnip

Tread lightly where matters
of love matter
For like the magical tablecloth,
not only the silverware
and fine china
will be left sitting alone,
but so will you,
empty, unfulfilled
watching the white cotton
disappear,
yanked from your existence

This place is toxic
poetic poison drips, drips, drips
Intravenous contagions
transferred from one to the other
Building fires and fever,
blazing flesh from bone,
killing inspiration
till it is nothing more than
a pile of ash
waiting to be sifted through

.

The morning sky is dark
as I stand in the shadows waiting
on an empty Tuesday disguised as a Monday
Hoping for a happy welcome but finding silent
rejections in unwritten emotions left
elsewhere for those who remember
what it’s like to smile within the
playful intentions shared,
and a frown is all I am left to wear

All I wanted to do was love you and
feel like I was someone you cared about,
not a brittle twig lying underfoot
waiting to be stepped on
as you run to the others
who beckon your heart,
make you feel special,
give to you those things that you need,
unlike what I bring, embarrassment
wrapped in a frilly bow

Still I am here writing to you,
hoping my words, my verses are read,
so you understand how I feel,
all the while knowing full well
I don’t meet up to those who . . .
those who satisfy your needs,
those you can't wait to be with,
those who make you happy,
those who overshadow my sunshine
in a place that is much brighter,
a place where you thrive,
a place that you love,
a place I am not

.

Standing alone in a room filled with sadness
Photograph smiles in a frame on the shelf
Ashtrays are filled with a death wish still breathing
Lighting another in spite of myself

A hand full of pills and a glass of Jack Daniels
And old black and white, I think Lauren Bacall
Through heavy eyes, I am still thinking of you
Only the floor there to meet as I fall

When on the door comes a knock unexpected
Shattering plans that I must put on hold
Closing one eye as I look through the peep hole
A shadowy figure is there in the cold

Twisting the lock and then turning the handle
Chilled is the blast that runs into my face
There I find death with his sickle untarnished
Needless to say my sad heart starts to race

“What are you doing, you can’t be that stupid
It’s not your time for this world to depart
Just for some girl who has left you here crying
Wanting to die for a **** broken heart”

I stopped and I thought and I heard this thing speaking
Then shoved my finger inside of its chest
“I’ll do as I please you know not what you’re saying
It’s time to go and I think it is best”

“God what a loser, oh wait, I meant Satan
Fine, suit yourself, we’ve a place you can lie
Swallow those pills but I’ll take that Jack Daniels
I will get thirsty while watching you die”

I thought of her and what I would be leaving
How much it hurt she had found someone new
Then of my heart that was shattered in pieces
The sound of her voice when she shouted, “we’re through”

That she is happy with somebody else
How every scar of my life has now bled
Why would I want to give her satisfaction
Knowing she’d smile if she heard I was dead

Then like a bolt or a light bulb exploding
Came a decision as clear as a bell
I’ll stick around in this room filled with sadness
It’s definitely worse than that place he calls hell

.

*Hypnotized by this
perfect vision drinking in
the afternoon sun,
I can hear sultry sighs
along the garden wall
calling me closer

Falling prey to the aroma,
intoxicated breezes
flow from a sundial’s smile
shading the hour
my heart falls deeply
into her soft petals

A thorn slices
the boundaries of my skin,
releasing blood in
crimson shades
of this fragrant rose
luring me with her beauty

Careful around her stem
I still worry about my flesh
until I realize the pain felt
is worth the scars
that I now see
spell out her name

Cast among the downpour,
gates beneath dark clouds are left open
The creek is rising, drowning underbrush,
darkening tree trunks,
moving swiftly the discarded,
Collecting at the walls of this place,
as stone and mortar slowly crumble

From a desperate vantage point
overlooking nature’s angry powers
I see a shape, a floating aura,
eyelet gown of gold stitch, woven ribbon dreams
Mahogany hair flowing, eyes captivating,
drifting atop muddied raging waters,
directing the flow with blown kiss persuasion

Suddenly swept away, barely a breath remains,
swallowing life in surrendering gulps
Flailing intoxicated waves, undertow’s grasp,
when a hand reaches, fingers interlock
Glazing blue skies whisper in sunlit reflections,
ocean breezes soothe washed out tides,
as a sand dollar wishes on a seashell

And now upon this beach I lie safely within soft arms,
tasting her mimosa lips, warm and sweet
I drink in her flavor neath palm tree shadows,
cool in the heat, but hot of her skin
My heart hears the glistening, tingling my senses,
awashing me in desires impossible to imagine,
as I happily drown in her

.

Drifting on a lonely stream
where lily pads and ripples direct my thoughts
to the promises of a new day

               I dream I am floating in your arms

as currents gently tug
playing solitaire in wishing hands
among glistening diamonds surfaces

               Searching for each desire’s shoreline

while my eyes wander to a place
long of sunrise sparkles
on soft summer murmurs

               Finding your fragrance on a cool wind’s whisper

my heart is drenched,
cleansed in an endless channel
of what your beauty brings to me

               A shady spot among watercolor shadows

writing poetry,
penning my affections in ink traced lines,
renderings of how wonderful my life is

               Since you have washed over me

leaving me breathless,
submerged far beneath drizzled kisses,
saturated in your love

.

Where from this the door now ******,
creaking screams align the mire
Loosened shadows cough the dust
within a world now set afire

Worry gathers in the mist,
along a crooked staircase rise
Nooses hang from rafter’s twist,
while portraits gaze through swollen eyes

Atone the stench of fevers past,
sweat does stream of wallowed reach
From moors the lines of wretched cast
in lessons taught but not to teach

Break this bread in mirrored shards,
slurp your lime serrated drink
Write as if a napkin bard,
any thought with which you think

Last, these days of sorted lanes,
walking chains and lockets bore
Weakness in your heart now claims
of a time you lived before

Stare the darkness now you keep,
forcing out a sad regret
You shall sow the fear you reap
as the night collects your debt

.
An empty corner bends
beneath street lights working overtime
and a bench, cold and lonely,
damp from previous storms
and those threatening,
closing dark curtains
on a weary skyline,
beckons, offering a seat,
hard horizontal slats
last occupied by another
with hopes and dreams
left to wander, wondering why

A black cat crosses my path
and I laugh at its expression
Knowing it believes bad luck
will come of this, little does it know,
I have no path for it to cross,
no destination, no planned outcome
or luck to speak of
Pushing the crosswalk button
again and again
and still it reads "don’t walk,"
I do as I am told

I shouldn't look, what's the use,
it always the same, you spill your soul
and it's washed away with the last phrase
He gets them, oh he gets them
on every one, no matter what it is
and **** if she doesn't get them too,
hell even crap gets them,
far too many times
But I shouldn't complain,
it's nice being liked,
you don't even have to hear the click
It's just hard sometimes when you realize,
you're just not as good as you thought

Feeling drowsy now I settle in
on softened splinters and peeling paint,
counting passing cars like sheep
in the soothing flicker of
a faulty flourescent sign
at the 24 hour tattoo parlor
Where needles aren’t the only thing
spurting ink, perforating skin,
creating lasting impressions
that even a beautiful sunrise
can’t erase as I fall off to a world
that doesn’t seem so bad,
at least for a few hours,
hoping that when I wake
it wakes with me

.

It was a beautiful dream,

sultry skin tightly against mine,
soft sighs echoed in the night

frantic fingers clutched satin sheets as
passion erupted in a torrid frenzy,

when sensual lips again invited

and I kissed you once more

before falling asleep

.

Empty,
this heart is desolate
a barren wasteland
of what ifs and waiting
for words no longer needed,
no longer wanted,
no longer heard
poetic failures
from a poetic failure,
crawling, pleading,
fading fast

Sun bleached and brittle,
in an instant
all is gone,
lost to the shifting sands,
deserted, abandoned,
cast aside as bones
begging for flesh,
for blood, for breaths,
chewed and spit
by the scavengers,
taking what is not theirs,
feasting on the loser,
laughing at his tears

Such a sight,
he bought it, all of it,
the promises, the lies
disguised as dreams,
shiny lures, bait…taken
at this dry lake bed,
blistering shores,
blinded by her vision,
walking away,
sorry

Still hearing the echoes. . .
he’s got a gold mine,
a poetic gold mine,
you’ve got dust,
beige, drab dust,
minute particles,
filling your pockets,
weighing down steps,
lower into the sand,
waving goodbye

To a love
that turned out to be a mirage,
as the oasis crumbles
(the oasis crumbles)
beneath black wings,
beaded eyes
still circling overhead,
calling his name
orbiting his life,
hungry for his death,
licking parched lips
caked and crackling
stealing everything
held in his heart,
picked clean,
empty