From slumber, kicking out the last of my dreams,
only to find that they do not end
For there to greet me, words on a page,
a welcome, a smile, waiting as I lift my eyes

Orange sherbet skies paint my windows
above yawning tree lines at the end of a dirt road
Persimmon outlined shadows
dance about my walls inviting me to look

I grab my cup, hot but needed, step into my shoes
passing through to morning, taking a sip
I find more beauty than my eyes have seen,
while birds flit from branch to branch

The air is cool, unusual but so very pleasant,
heated days form in my memories of yesterday,
when cool springs were no match for the flamed heavens
yet perfection now touches my skin

And I see, before me not a morning, not a brilliant sunrise
but you…your words, your touch, finding me at a distance,
telling me that this day is ours, beyond horizons
Gazing south to north, for the beauty of my day is always you

-

Across the vast expanse
Heat patterns rise from flat rock
Simmering sensations to fool the mind
Blurring even the recognizable
Into a mirage of nothingness

“Dust coated winds that do not exist”

Blinding hypnotic colors play
Weaving patterns of self doubt
Alone in a misconception of belief
Solitude of unwanted fear
Emptiness worn on a sleeve

“Kaleidoscopic nightmares so very pretty”

Let down, shoved aside, forgotten
Discarded emotions piled in a heap
Broken sidewalks of those I thought I knew
French braided friends…or so I believed
Abandoned on my own crumbling foundation

“Why did I ever believe?”

I see a tiny speck…perhaps something in my eye
Canceling the horizon’s verticality
Moving beyond invisible footprints
Solidifying a view…a smile…waving
As if a drunken crow has tipped over

“Thoughts turn to memories of words once spoken”

Reoccurring images race forward
Sentences of comfort find their way
Down the path to my heart
Realizing I now understand
What she meant…that day…this day

“I run to meet her halfway…her arms are open”

.

*Hypnotized by this
perfect vision drinking in
the afternoon sun,
I can hear sultry sighs
along the garden wall
calling me closer

Falling prey to the aroma,
intoxicated breezes
flow from a sundial’s smile
shading the hour
my heart falls deeply
into her soft petals

A thorn slices
the boundaries of my skin,
releasing blood in
crimson shades
of this fragrant rose
luring me with her beauty

Careful around her stem
I still worry about my flesh
until I realize the pain felt
is worth the scars
that I now see
spell out her name

.

Love

Why is it that the faster I run towards it
the further away it seems

Love

Am I destined for shadows,
empty masses of luring movements
hiding behind me,
disappearing each time I turn,
fading on a cloudy day
forever just out of reach

            (Your's is the smile
Love
            that makes my smile smile)

Why is my puzzle always missing
that one perfectly fitting piece
that creates a beautiful picture
of a country landscape, an ocean scene at night,
or a heart that is complete,
leaving a gap in my happiness

            (Why can't you see
Love
            it was always you and me)

The last page of a mystery thriller
torn out by the desire to know,
ripped from its binding,
jagged paper edges seeking
a conclusion that doesn’t come from
reading between the lines

            (Every time I wait
Love
            it always is too late)

I sat in a garden
on a beautiful spring day
pulling petals off of a forget-me-not
just hoping she loves me
I should have known the cycle would end with
“me not”

            (I just want to love you
Love
            to show you that it's true)

Maybe if I write it enough times
Maybe if I were a glazed donut
Maybe if I were a fresh cup of coffee on a Sunday morning
Maybe if I were a cocker spaniel puppy
Maybe if I was a soft comfortable pillow
Maybe if I were a poet

Love

Probably not

Chalked up to experience
erasers pounding in a sea of dust
white marks on black thoughts
over and under the text book meanings
torn pages litter lost feelings
and no one cares what the teacher’s name is
as the bell rings and hallways fill
with empty stares and blank expressions
dialing forgotten combinations
of locker stashed dreams

Quintessential fabrications
Reinforced insanity
Skyscraper accusations
Clouded upper floors
Overhead distortion
Inhaling tainted mist
Waving at cranes
Searching for headlines
Threatening to jump
Once the elevator
Reaches ground level

'

*I see the sky
through barren branches,
twisted and bent,
grasping at clouds,
naked in the light,
swaying overhead
on winter’s chilled breath

Below me
in the slumbering earth
deep roots
hold on to the soil
beyond yesterday’s footprints,
burrowing for life, stability,
far from peering eyes

Running my hands
across the coarse bark,
craggy imprints
sculpt memories
of bygone seasons
when saplings dreamed,
when I dreamed

As I gaze upward
following the patterns,
crooked lines,
knotted intersections
all with their own purpose,
each a piece of the whole,
embracing the elements

I realize that life
must have a meaning
whether reaching or searching
and though I feel alone,
desolate within my own forest,
I now know that
the sky sees me too

.

Spun in a windstorm of caustic insisting
Plastered like mud on the walls of Pompeii
Frescos of joy before charcoal was misting
Writing in ash, catastrophic display

Poetic spittle once cast to the broken
Scribbled in diction now smeared in the rain
So many follow yet nothing is spoken
Below these skies with the cherry red stain

There in the distance a magpie is flying
Scavenging wings while you shout from the ground
Above a truth midst the unending lying
Circling nightmares of places you’re bound

Can it be art if it’s not as remembered
Past of the days when you ****** in the snow
Spelling your name as your mother was watching
Turning in shame as if she didn’t know

Damning Picasso for changing direction
How can a nose sit so far from the face
*******’s spilled paint way beyond your detection
Charging a gallery, demanding your space

Photo laced albums of cellophane pages
Developed by hand in a room with no light
Look at these kids and their digital stages
Feigning creative, it just isn’t right

Does this explain every tactical action
While you count blocks as if streets don’t exist
Pulling a woodpecker’s tail to get traction
Hiding the reason you just can’t resist

You say that art can be all that we’re thinking
Then in the same breath you say it’s not true
Often we wonder if you have been drinking
Make up your mind, it’s the least you can do

You are all artists, yes you who are reading
Writing your words that you put on display
Spilling your heart while emotions are bleeding
It breaks my heart when I hear someone say

It can’t be art, all those losers are dreaming
Seeing and clicking and sending and such
Downloaded images, videos streaming
When the truth is, you are just out of touch

.
Sadness drapes my shoulders
in black clouded blisters
dropping hazy shadows
at a bus stop called nowhere
Blank stare passengers
read out of date magazines
as I sit on the first step
tossing quarters at pigeons
having bird *** in the park

I watch as my fingers twist around
a kite string seeking merely a breeze,
arctic or otherwise to drag me down
the potholed one way street
that leads past your door
Skinned knees and a bruised heart
outline the address where
I once felt welcome,
at least the mat said so

When I hear my name called
over barking dogs and lawn mowers
in need of tune up
and as I look above the silhouette
of the man I used to be
I see myself, choking on his dreams
in a "deliveries only" alleyway
littered with false destinies
and realize I am home

It is moments like these
my mind creates images
that feel so far from truth
but are still real in a sense

Do I imagine them
because they have happened
in the past or because
I expect them to happen

Why when all I want
is the very best
do I always seem to  
imagine the very worst

How can something
once so good,
in a moment become
so extremely bad

When will I ever learn
it is always truth
when it comes to
my imagination

.

I sat there gazing upon a tree
when I saw a moth resting on the bark
Its wings were similar in color
with the trunk of that old oak,
I suppose to create camouflage
from predators, but I saw it
And then it saw me…

an hour later I didn’t have a shirt

.

I feel like I’m running on ice,
a slippery surface confines me
in frozen dreams facing a desolate future
My legs move constantly, my muscles endlessly,
my thoughts mindlessly and still I get nowhere
I’m stuck right here where you left me
Wearing out fast, holding on to anything
to keep myself upright, to keep from falling,
to keep from crashing through

I’m trying, I swear I’m trying,
I just can’t seem to break it, to break free
I have good moments, a few I’ll admit
but they don’t last long, not long at all
I always slip right back into this place,
this empty, cold, lonely place
that to be honest,
I can’t bear the thought of leaving
because if I leave, I know it will be the end

I don’t want it to end

you know what they say,
the lower the case,
the easier it is
to reach the beer

I can’t walk off the illusion
that life dances for those
who refuse to hear the music
but feel every beat of the
hearts they have broken
two steps at a time

.

I flipped a quarter and called heads,
then watched as it hit the ground
and rolled through the grate,
staring at me from the bottom of the drain
like a charm seeking its bracelet,
still crying because the clasp broke.
Taking a seat on the curb as the sun
began setting at the west end of the block,
I felt long shadows gathering at my feet,
swallowing me in darkness,
but still the coin glistened, mocking me.

The next morning I was awakened
by the sound of your alarm clock
through the open window two floors up,
when I heard him say “good morning”
and you closed the blinds.
Then glancing down into the sewer again
I saw a note where the coin had rested
in your handwriting that told me
something I had already figured out,
“It was tails, you lost.”

The sunrise is swallowed again,
eternal clouds chant “never”
black, gray, moving slowly north to south
A light drizzle collects on my glasses
It is cold, but it is always cold
I am naked, tied to a leafless tree
for all passing by to gawk and point
I can hear the chuckles, no one feels sorry

Walls cave in around furnished dens
hibernating in darkness
A place where a heart has been ripped out
crushed and shredded
Leaving a hollow opening
in a field of wheat painted cobalt blue
empty in front of me
fading fast in the distance

Ghostly images flowing in the wind
beckoning me to come, to follow, to fall
abandon hope, give up life
and I lean towards doing so
because even if I died
she wouldn’t know or care
and neither would that sun
that shines for others
but not for me

.

“I miss her so much,” he said
as he sat in the corner crying
I wanted so badly to say something to console him,
anything to make him feel better,
just a few kind words to soothe his pain
but I couldn’t,
he was me

standing in between dance steps
as my dizzying state of mind
fears the song playing
is merely a recorded message
that time forgot to validate

no stamp of approval
after the eject button is hit
and nothing comes out
but minor key accusations
in fast forward lies

-

Here within this narrow space
Deserted long the thoughts of youth
Age has crept its promised steps
Casting forth unwanted truth
Grasping wishes long since gone
Dissipating shadows reek
Stinking little wants and needs
Masking everything you seek
For this end does call your name
Chase the years now falling fast
Futures fade among the mist
Yesterdays collect your past
And as roses wilt the stem
There upon your box to die
Pictures those who stayed at home
Sending cards that wish goodbye
Hear the gravel close the gaps
Shoveled fill above your head
Shout until your throat is raw
No one listens to the dead

.

Walking alone
in the heart of the city
Feeling the strain
as the skyscrapers wail
Wondering lost
like a dog with no owner
Broken apart
but still wagging my tail
Begging for scraps
in the alleys of sorrow
Chasing a cat
up a fictitious tree
Crossing the street
against oncoming traffic
Nothing to scratch
no not even a flea
Wondering if
some will reach down and pet me
Show me some love
that I’ve not felt in days
Give me a bite
of their ham and cheese sandwich
Maybe a chip
from that new bag of Lays
I know they won’t,
I can sense hesitation
It’s in their eyes
they can’t see in my heart
They’ll never know
it is shattered and broken
Nothing remains
every since we did part
So here I walk
with no leash tied to guide me
Grinding my teeth
on a discarded bone
A mangy old mutt
who has no one to love him
Roaming the streets
of this city, alone

Drenched in the sweat of the victim’s last downpour
Seeking the air that is hidden from view
Pacing a dock that extends past the ocean
Turning off dreams that are passed off as new
Chasing a wave till it runs out of water
Wrapping a cloud as a cloak on my skin
Jumping in deep, caught on anchors now falling
Feeling the sea fill my lungs once again
Gasping for breath that is sold on the boardwalk
Gazing above as the sun licks the ground
Washed up on shore with a note in a bottle
Thoughts swept away out of all that is found

"I remember the first time I kissed her,

because it was also the last time."

?

Why is it paranoia
feels so much worse
when absolutely no one
is paying attention
to you at all?

I never really knew
what goodbye meant,
until she said it to me

.

Poetry is my insanity,
sparks collected in closed eyes,
frantic phrases falling
in a spectrum’s pulsating palette,
picturing icicle webs
and chromatic landscapes
blurring in the distance

Dancing to the sounds
of brain cells singing
rhythmic compositions,
ringing constantly
in between hours of
counted pendulum swings
on fingers and toes

Pulling on my heart,
squeezing every last thought
oozing in blacklight ink
and day-glo sunrises
of fruit cup offerings
and psychedelic posters,
depicting moons
fluttering in crayon heavens
driving me crazy
in the best possible way