Starfire

Starfire Dec 2018

Life was perfect- nothing to worry about
Enjoying everday, every minute, not and second
Never worrying about anything bad happening

But then, one day, things took a drastic turn
I'm now on the verge of ending my life
Nothing makes sense anymore, nothing matters anymore

The only thing that's stoping me is that:
I'll be hurting those around me, those who love me and everyone around me will be affected in some way

I can't do this to my best friend, she is everything to me
Without her, I'm nothing
I now found reasons to not **** myself

And I learned that life is going to be more painful death

But I just have to live through it
And one day, all will be different- a good different

I learned that life will get hard and sometimes it feels like there is no way out but there is. You may not see it now but a year from now, when you think back... You'll finally see it.

#perfectlife #killmyself #life #painful #affected #death #love

Starfire Nov 2018

Hope

Hope is in all of us
even if we don't think so
Hope will always be there for us

Hope is what keeps us going
even on our darkest days

Hope is like a drug for all of us
It's something we latch onto when we have nothing left

#hope #darkestdays #drug #always #something

Starfire Oct 2018

In the end

It was you that I wanted
It was you that I longed for

To hold
To love

To cherish every moment we had together

But that could never happen

Because

You never felt the same
You never knew me

We never spoke to each other
We only crossed paths

But you finally noticed me
But we only became close friends

Till I eventually fell for you

And you never knew
And you finally left me

And in the end I realised it was never meant to be in the first place

#heartbreak #left #crossedpaths #everyday #fellforyou #intheend

Starfire Aug 2018

Feeling empty

It's not wanting to get out of bed on the morning
It's not wanting to do anything that once made you happy
It's caring about things that you shouldn't care about

It's expecting too much from people who don't deserve it
It's about pleasing others instead of yourself
It's apologising for things you didn't do
It's about putting others first

And when you put yourself first, for once
People have a lot to say

Don't worry about what other people say
Rather focus on yourself first then worry about the other people

#toxicpeople #focusonyourself #youcomefirst #caringtoomuch #morning #bed #happy #sad

Starfire Aug 2018

Things you should never say

"Go **** yourself."
"No one ever loved you."
"You will never matter."
"You're worthless."
"No one even liked you."
"****."

They all said

But what they didn't know was:

Do you know how many times she wanted to **** herself,
How many times she gave up?

She already knows that she is worthless, that no matter what she does,
She'll never be good enough

There is only one person who truly loves her,
Not for who or what she wants to be
But for who she is - strong, beautiful, smart, amazing and talented

And finally,
That girl you called a ****

She wished that she was dead too

Because she was *****
By the one person she trusted most

Her uncle.

#trust #dead #strong #beautiful #love #worthless

Starfire Aug 2018

Those 3 empty words

You said you loved me
I believed you
Little did I know that it was just to make me happy

And all the things you did
Was just for show
You never really meant it
Cause it was only those three empty words

I love you

#heartbroken #emptywords #emptypromises #itmeantnothing

Starfire Aug 2018

In my heart

They told me you were bad for
I didn't listen
They looked through the facade you put on, only to see how horrible you really were

They warned me yet again
But I did not listen
Slowly but surely, piece by piece
You let your guard down
And eventually I saw the real you

The you that didn't love me
The you who felt sorry for me
The you that didn't give a **** about anything, really

You only put up with me because you knew I was nothing without you
Which was true
But you could've told me you didn't want to be with me anymore

#brokenheart