Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Oct 2021 · 183
I just turned 15
Sofia Oct 2021
Do I wanna leave?
Or do I just wanna stay with you?
What’s the point of this whole thing
if I don't know what I’m gonna be?
What do I do with my life?
Where would I be without you?
Think my health’s important,
but how important could it be
if they’re shoving homework
down the throats of kids at 17?

I know I’ll regret staying in this whole thing,
but when it ends they’d all love me.
Doing it all for the wrong reasons.
Maybe one day I’ll know what’s right.
But what if it’s wrong
to leave?
What if this is what I’m meant to be
but I might come out of it dead.
Just wanna see what it’s like.
Could **** me just to save time.
It’s not worth the time if it cuts out years
of my life, due to stress.
The only reason to stay is for the "what ifs"
and nothing else, so maybe I should leave.
Not that that would be saving my mom any
money
But it’s whatever, I suppose.
I’m better than I used to be,
but I wasn’t built for this life.
Is it self-hatred to say I wouldn’t make it?
or is it protecting myself
from death by mental illness?

I’ll think it over, I still have some time.
Just feel like I’m misleading everyone,
not that they thought that this thing
was for me.
But what if it was?
Not that it has more positives than the opposite.
They asked me if I’ll leave
and I said maybe.
I just turned 15, and I think I might leave ib.
it's a really hard decision
Jul 2021 · 92
same
Sofia Jul 2021
you want me to be you
exactly the same

you want me to be you
exactly the same

everything you are
is what you want for me

i must embody everything
that makes you who you are

and everything that makes me me
has to go

or else i will be
controlled and made to be you

as i can see
you need someone else

to deflect away from me
so that i can be on my own

and im not you
just like you want

even though that’s not me
it causes so much pain

to see you how you are
the way you wish i was made
Jul 2021 · 361
like lemonade
Sofia Jul 2021
I love you like lemonade.
You're so bitter
but I-I crave
the sweet taste
you give to everything.
And when I'm with you
my mind goes blank
like I can't explain.
I hate when you're away,
so don't leave me.
Only stay.
Jun 2021 · 190
Spare a laugh
Sofia Jun 2021
You can’t spare a laugh
when I need one
to make me feel
that much better.

Spare a laugh
For me
When I need you
To lift me up
Into the clouds
Just for a second.
Jun 2021 · 480
failed haiku
Sofia Jun 2021
What if you never wanted
a person like me. What will
you do after that?
I tried to make a haiku but the first line has too many syllables. Hope you enjoyed it anyway.
Sep 2020 · 111
Name Poem
Sofia Sep 2020
My name, which is growing in popularity as we speak,
Is mine and only mine, and all the others are fake.
But 2007 was really its peak.
Most people are trying to take,
What’s not theirs and make it great.
People make the name something that’s not the same.
Like dogs and cats.
They’re different and you don’t get them confused,
And when people get it wrong you slowly light your fuse.

It’s not their fault, and I know that to be true,
But everyone likes their name better,
And that’s what makes me blue.

My last name means hay,
Which is ok,
But then people say it wrong,
It just makes you grey.
You say the J sounds like H,
And they try again.
This time its better, but still not the the way,
You like to say
It.
Feb 2020 · 224
Refusal
Sofia Feb 2020
My tears are something I refuse.
You make me tired just to lite the fuse.
I guess people are like plastic,-

Easy to reuse.
Feb 2020 · 97
Why do you hate me
Sofia Feb 2020
Wanting to whisper my worries to you when you won't listen.
How could you hate me?
You say you could never hate me.

Does you heart hurt at the thought of hating me,
Or does it make you laugh or pleasure ti'll you cry?

Have fun hating me before there's no me to hate.
After I'm dead you will wish you would have spoke.
Talk to me now before the time runs out.
Even if you don't care because later it will give you a scare.

My eyes begin to dry as I open up my eyes,
Efface yourself if this is true; that you hate me more than I you.
Jan 2020 · 295
killer
Sofia Jan 2020
I killed someone for you; me.

My heart is whats keeping me alive, but it is also whats killing me.

I’ve been stabbed many times, but you aimed for the heart.
my poems about love & dying
Dec 2019 · 595
broke
Sofia Dec 2019
it's weird how you'll talk to the one that broke you,
but you can't talk to the one you broke.
Nov 2019 · 151
the floodgates of hell
Sofia Nov 2019
composed of silence; a graceful heart dances.

you went to me; spoke words that weren't revolting. my heart breaking away from its old quiet ways.

the angels in heaven sang a hopeful song to cherish that a lovely day.

the next day the storm came, and washed it all away. the love, the heart, but the silence came to stay. the floodgates from down below break loose and my hearty heart heart cries in the shadows of sanctimonious.

the world ended that day. for i nor no one else expected what a vigorous storm. my hands shaking with the satin tears. fast as they fell.

the storm rushing from the floodgates of hell.
Nov 2019 · 207
the acquaintance
Sofia Nov 2019
and just like that,
my girlfriend became
an acquaintance that
shares equal feelings
for me as i do for her.
Nov 2019 · 148
anxiety
Sofia Nov 2019
i didn't know how to be happy
my anxiety was increasing gradually by the week.

crying all the time; worried i couldn't do it in time.
that i would fail and all the people would say that they told me so.

that my world was falling apart so fast i couldn't even try to pick it up as it fell.
Nov 2019 · 121
why do you wish to love?
Sofia Nov 2019
people always ask me, "why do you wish to love? you're very young you know."

i always tell them; "you're never to young to want happiness."
Oct 2019 · 223
forever sad
Sofia Oct 2019
i am forever sad.
crying 43% of days a week.
half the days are bad.
all of them sad.
i don't know how else but to be mad.
i'm so sad that i can't be glad.
so that's my life story,
forever sad.
             mad.
             bad.
Oct 2019 · 171
quote 1
Sofia Oct 2019
I was trying so hard to stay alive
that I wasn't even living.
Oct 2019 · 194
hard to be happy
Sofia Oct 2019
its hard to smile when really all you want to do is cry.
Oct 2019 · 358
Lost.
Sofia Oct 2019
Gone.
Lost in the swamps
somewhere among sadness.
Oct 2019 · 467
it
Sofia Oct 2019
it
it was warm till the sun went down.
it could swim before it drowned.
it was happy before you made it frown.
it was me without a doubt.
Oct 2019 · 145
Avery,
Sofia Oct 2019
your beautiful,
just as usual.
A pretty girl,
just like a pearl.
Your so perfect,
your my whole world.
Oct 2019 · 356
i gave you my heart.
Sofia Oct 2019
i gave you my heart.
it became lonely, cold, dead.
i never liked a girl the way i liked you.
it was new.
i didn't know what to do.
so please forgive me;
please be my boo.
Sep 2019 · 345
Don't tell me.
Sofia Sep 2019
Don't tell me I'm wrong for wanting love.
Don't tell me not to cry over people.

If I don't love who will love me. No one.
So... Don't tell me not to love because
all I ever wanted-

was to be loved by you.
Sep 2019 · 287
Untitled
Sofia Sep 2019
The brain becomes silent when the heart speaks.
Sep 2019 · 103
twolonelylillypads
Sofia Sep 2019
A tear streaking down my face as I admired the truth about us.
We weren't a grand finale episode of Dancing With The Stars, but instead two lonely lilly-pads in the summer mist of a suburb we both call home. So natural. So elegant. Were so

happy; together.
Sep 2019 · 286
:/
Sofia Sep 2019
:/
My trust falls on you like a bowling ball on a toe.
But, at least I know:

you'll go with me through
all life's struggles;
  we'll take it slow.
Sep 2019 · 68
me+you=pain
Sofia Sep 2019
i was sad and you let me cry on your shoulder.
i was happy and you made me happier.
i was confused and you made it clear.

i always loved you even when you hurt me.
even then-

i shoot bullets that went in deep,
and I'm still sorry, ---

you can never forgive me.
Sep 2019 · 685
☁️
Sofia Sep 2019
We were going to talk for the first time in a while.
I doubt you will speak, I doubt you will smile.
But what do we know; we are juvenile.
I don’t want to defile,
but it went great,

Thanks for the smile.
Sep 2019 · 1.7k
⭐️
Sofia Sep 2019
i just wanted everything to be still,
but when you came it was really big dill.
you gave me a chill, a really big thrill;
nothing i could express,
because i was mentally ill.
Sep 2019 · 79
when i did.
Sofia Sep 2019
i hoped i could see you again, but when i did, it ruined me.

sometimes, what you hope for the most is not actually what you want,
and that makes you cry because you thought you knew.
Sep 2019 · 79
when i did.
Sofia Sep 2019
i hoped i could see you again, but when i did, it ruined me.

sometimes, what you hope for is not actually what you want,
and that makes you cry because you thought you knew.
Sofia Sep 2019
Even if I never touch your lips, I will always remember you.
You made me laugh. You gave me joy. You made me think.
I doubt you did the same, but I- will still remember you. I often stared at your lips because I wanted to kiss you, and also, your lips were eye-level for me. I thought what it would be like to kiss you.

I want you. I want you to be my first.
Be my first kiss.

I remember how we met;-at a school-organized event. I thought you were funny and charming. You always smiled. You always made me feel special.

One problem:
You had your eye on someone else; I always asked if you still felt for him, because I want to know if I even have a chance with you. Like it was a competition between me and him, somehow. This guy you fantasized about but could never be with, for obvious reasons.



I just want to know if you’re smiling for the same reason I am at you.
Sep 2019 · 132
I wondered;
Sofia Sep 2019
i wondered if you felt the same.
i always wanted to know.
i didn't even know if, i, myself felt it; what i thought i felt.
it was a mystery.
just question marks swooshing around like tired flags right around me.
Aug 2019 · 463
ALONE
Sofia Aug 2019
A- Always
L- Lucid dreaming
O- On
N- No Specific
E- Evening(s)
Aug 2019 · 204
Or else.
Sofia Aug 2019
For it needs to be soon,
Or else I will swoon;
My heart will stop beating.
Aug 2019 · 75
...
Sofia Aug 2019
...
I wanted it so bad I forgot what I was looking for.
I forgot why. How, even.
it's like this was one big game I was playing in my head, that I'd never known how to play in the first place.
Scrambling to figure out.
But I couldn't,
so I just played by my own rules.
Aug 2019 · 77
i wondered why.
Sofia Aug 2019
I wondered why I wasn't happy.
I knew it had something to do with school and the new friends I'd hadn't made.
In high school, I would be voted "hardest to understand", or "punniest", but nothing special.
My life was just a sequence of sadness and anger with a pinch of sweet mixed in. I used sugar to cope when it didn't help with how I looked at myself in the mirror.
I was lonely and socially awkward.
In this harsh world, I was just a grain of sand on the beach. One of the infinite grains of sand.

Not desirable.
Not wanted. Just like everyone else.
And it was worse because that's actually what I was the most scared of.

Everything I wish wouldn't have happened, happened.
Aug 2019 · 83
All i wanted...
Sofia Aug 2019
all i wanted was one good day. one.
but my day had been bad.
i played games.
by brother was more rude than usual.
my homework was due soon.
all i wanted to do was write.
i had a smoothie from the wholesale shop.
i then smiled.
i needed a nap bad.
the doggy ate my library book.
my temper was thin and fragile.
all i wanted was to be was alone,
on my own, agile as a dear.
just me, myself, and i.
Aug 2019 · 93
i you. you me.
Sofia Aug 2019
i smile at you.
you smile at me.

i laugh with you.
you laugh with me.

"do you like me?"
him: "nope, not really."
Aug 2019 · 125
Then you know.
Sofia Aug 2019
it felt good to be full.
to know that for at least a day or two you wouldn't be starving.
to know that you still had at least a week before you would die of thirst.
then you know today is not the end. the last.
Aug 2019 · 86
When I'm With You
Sofia Aug 2019
Heart thumping.
Body sweating.
Feet tingling.
Time slowing.
Brain juggling.
Eyes meeting.
Crowd whispers.
Cheeks blushing.

All the things I feel when I'm with you.
Aug 2019 · 543
Thanks, Mom.
Sofia Aug 2019
the crisp edges satisfyingly crunchy.
i bit into half a blueberry scone still warm from the oven.
a new recipe you decided to try out.
it tastes delicious.
thanks mom.
Aug 2019 · 377
People Say
Sofia Aug 2019
People say time heals, but it's not the time. It's the new memories you create while you're apart.

It will always hurt; what you did to me. I forgive you, but that doesn't fix the pain.

People say we were mint to be, but we'd still be together if that were true.
I loved you, but don't you go breaking my heart.
Aug 2019 · 94
Tall.
Sofia Aug 2019
The gnome is small,
about 5 feet tall.
She stands beneath me;
Though somehow she stands tall.
Aug 2019 · 54
Some days.
Sofia Aug 2019
Some days I just wanna come home and cry till the sun falls and the stars rise.
Aug 2019 · 180
Gnomey
Sofia Aug 2019
The little gnome had left the backyard.
For she had a different plan. She moved out.
I only wish I woulda gnome.
Aug 2019 · 590
Sofia Aug 2019
The warm cookies I now liked cold.
The little gnome still kept me warm.
But still, hugs make me feel at home.

— The End —