You were at fault,

And

I blamed myself.

Because

I loved you even through the heart break.

I know where this path leads.

I was at the store today and I saw a bouquet of sunflowers
and I just sat and stared at them
Holding back the tears so people wouldn't see
and just thinking to myself, what the heck is wrong with me

I convince myself I'm over you
I'm deadset on it
and then something small comes along
flowers, the songs I sang, a picture
and I realize I'm so far from over you

I want to be done
I'm done with the pain
The constant reminder that I ******* up
and yet
I don't

because it also reminds me of the happiest times of my life
the time I spent with you
talking
listening
Those were some of the best times
I felt human
I felt

I kinda just go through life now
and it's ok I guess
but it's just not the same
It's boring and dull
The same thing day after day

I'm sorry.
I know you don't want to hear this
but I just need to get it out
cause if I don't then it just builds up more and I end up worse than before
and we'll probably just get farther apart again
which is probably for the best I guess

So yeah

My every waking moment has turned to you.
You've brought something back into my life that I wasn't expecting.
Those sudden moments where my breath gets taken away by the very thought of your smile.
I'm encaptured in this gaze where all I see is you.

You're in everything I do now.
Every thought. Every Action.

And it feels so right.
The prayers answered long ago,
now coming to pass and shaping my future.

I hope that you feel this in yourself.
That you might love me half as much as I love you.