i suffocate people
with the love i have

i could never find
the right reason or
the right answer to
why a person should
be proud to be with
someone like me

oh for i am just
an unsightly human
made up of countless flaws
and i am nowhere
nowhere neutral (either)

the disgust look
i put upon people's countenance
just by breathing

so tell me, tell me
how does one accept
the love i have
when i **** them
as i cling to them
like a bolster at night
as i tie them tight
so they would not leave
as i breathe under
this flawed skin

i shoot them with arrows
and they halt it with
their silvery sword

oh how odd it is
of the fact that
rejection could ****
the cells in your body

and i will just be a girl
filled with love
for she would not have
to take people's lives
(but her own)
for too many love in a heart
creates a living sinister

there was a girl
who loved me so
named me bestie
gifted me with seashells
and sometimes,
baked brownie
to unfrown me

there was a girl
who taught me braids
loved poking my cheeks
and took photos of me
secretly

there was a girl
who got her heart
into pieces by bestie
and all she did is
to give her love
but only to get
none in return

she was a bird flying above
the sky all alone for no one
loved her anymore

she flew so far away
that i never saw her
ever again

she was gone;
no more brownie
no more grins
and the seashells
turned navy
oddly

twenty-nine-june,
i sat in the coffee shop
with my warm white coffee
and a copy of
stephen chbosky

she flew back home and
she descried me there
came up to me with
a beauteous grin
i last seen in
december '11

we talked
we laughed
we cried
we story-telled

(i remember, she once said,
back when i still
have the name bestie,
that she loved when
we used the term story-tell
for it made the sun and moon
collide together)

i was told that
this lovely girl's wrist
was named demon
and she **** it every time
he tries to drown her
in a sea of darkness

this time,
i got my heart into pieces
told her the same
and pinky promise was made

(like they always said,
promises are meant to be
b/r/o/k/e/n
and it did)

there is a girl
who i love so
named her bestie
and i will hold her
when she is

f
a
l
l
i
n
g

apart