When I was 7 my parents got divorced.
When I was 11 I was beaten & bullied in school.
When I was 12 I wanted plastic surgery
When I was 13 I tried to **** myself
When I was 14 I starved myself for the first time
When I was 15 I was rushed to the hospital
When I turned 16 I cried about my loneliness
Little girl, with twinkling, peachy eyes covering her ears and being cradled by her sister, locked inside of her bedroom hiding under the bed, trying to block out the screams of mommy and daddy.
My concept of love was twisted. I learned that when you scream and cuss at each other that is love. ~
Young girl, honey-voiced and glossy, having her head shoved in the toilet and repeatedly kicked in the stomach and spat on at school.
My concept of friendship was twisted. I learned that when you beat and verbally abuse your friends that is love.~
Pre-teen girl, sunshine gold hair and hot pink braces, crying herself to sleep over her hideousness and wishing for nothing more than a dozen plastic surgeries.
My concept of beauty was twisted. I learned that **** girls live and die alone and the only solution is to change who you are.~
Teenage girl, haunted grey eyes and brittle thin hair, crying as she writes a goodbye note with her shaking hand, and attempts to slit her wrists in the bathtub
My concept of happiness was twisted. I learned that all of your problems can go away if you go away too, and passing on the pain to others is better than suffering alone in silence ~
Skinny girl, yellow skin and bloodied ribs, screaming as she shatters a mirror with her fists and tightens the measuring tape around her waist, squeezing until she can’t breathe
My concept of self-love was twisted. I learned that altering your flawed, natural appearance and achieving perfection would finally make you love and accept yourself~
Empty girl with a void in her heart and horrors on her mind, pushed into constant doctor and therapy and dietician appointments, being pulled in different directions like a marionette, a rab lat, by a plethora of adults.
My concept of healing is was twisted. I learned that I shouldn’t listen to anyone trustworthy because everyone is wrong~
Tired girl with a rotting soul and a static mind, smiling like an actress on movie screens, sleeping her life away because there’s nothing else better.
*My concept of solution and self-help was twisted. I learned that keeping your mouth shut and pretending everything is ok will keep everyone happy and sleeping / being unconscious is better than being awake and sad