I am premeditated ******.
Yes, I am painfully aware of it.
I always wore white dresses well.
Everything looks how it did when I was 17.
It’s all you, and I’m porcelain, I just know it.
Anyway, think of me as the time of night when you are the only one awake.
The rest is confetti.
I loved being a writer, but like most, I’m afraid the loneliness disease has swallowed me too. best wishes to everyone, Skyla.
All I wanted was someone to be my colour.
All I knew was blue from tears I wept from numbers upon numbers and counting grams of sugar
Sometimes red from the blood that I bled from my rib cage punishments for imperfection
Sometimes a sickly green from regurgitated bits that came mixed with the bile of my throat, emptied into a porcelain bowl
Sometimes a ghostly white, from the ghostly way I looked and felt, devoid of colour completely
Red and blue and green made me scream
Until I found my orange.
My citrus fruit picked fresh from a tree on a summer day.
My shiny pumpkin from an autumn patch
My neon tulip from my spring garden
My sunset every night.
He coloured me golden.
Made me feel like fresh honey on the tips of tongues
Like a bumblebee nestled into a daisy or a sunflower
Like something King Midas touched
Like the golden rays of light from hot sunshine that melts ice cream
Like a soft, pale yellow from early sunrises that only the wide eyed can appreciate
My palette consists of his colours that give me my senses, and the colour he made me find within myself.
I’m so in love that I can’t breathe
You are the only thing that I can see
Colour me purple, colour me blue
I want to sink and fade in to you
Sometimes I want to drown, let myself spiral down
But you kiss those feelings off my mouth
And you say
“Baby, we’re gonna be okay”
I’m so in love that I can’t eat
‘Cause everyday you spoon feed me
My body is yours, and the thoughts in my head
And you could pick me up and take me to bed
Sometimes I’m tired and I want to cry
Thinking how lovely it’d be to die
But you cradle me and dry my eyes
And you say
“Baby, it’s going to be alright”
We’re in love, we’re in the sky
We lay below a thousand lights
And we’ll be warm and safe for life
We’ve got each other for a lifetime of nights
Baby, we’re gonna be alright
Would you love me when I’m sad?
Burning eyes as my head spins
Trying to take out the dirt from underneath my skin
Would you love me still?
Would you love me when I’m scared?
When I see scary silhouettes
That haunt me in your bed
Would you hold me so tight
And scare them off for the night?
Would you love me when I’m tired?
When I don’t know what’s real or not
When static runs through my head
Would you tell me you love me when I forget?
Would you love me no matter what?
When I’m sad, when I feel bad,
When I cry because I feel I’m going mad
I know that you would love me still.
Maybe I’m soft, maybe I’m shy
Maybe pretty things make me cry
I am not pure, but call me your angel
We’re angels on trips, on pleasures and highs
Show me how sweetness feels, as I close my eyes
I just want you to crawl under my skin
I just want to feel your lips against my neck
Put your love inside me as you take off my dress
Go so gentle and intense, take me to heaven
We’re out of this world, our passion in flames
Let’s just talk with our bodies, and sigh each others’ names
He makes me feel pretty, and almost pure.
I’ve got all of this rot, deep in my chest
But he leaves the dirt inside, planting flowers in my core.
The murky seas, droplets of seaweed water
Drowning underneath his gaze
Running my hands through his fiery maze
He’s a gem nestled in a mysterious lake
A pale emerald in the glittering sea
A soft orange sunset warming me
Let me heal your sunburns
With my periwinkle hands
Stare into the navy abyss, as deeply as you can
Blue doesn’t have to be sad, my love
Blue is thirst, a dripping wet kiss
To heal your chapped lips
Green and blue make purple
The colour of a velvet night
Which leaves nothing but the golden dusk
And the orange dawn that creates light
I love you, the captain of my heart
You steer the ship towards safety
Where you force the darkness to part
A chest of gold, my treasure and riches
A single kiss, makes me ruler of the sky
We wouldn’t need our crowns
I just want to call you mine