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I think I just remembered something
I left the usually locked door wide open
The stairs are calling me
The dark eyes stare right back
I know it's my 'guardian angel' with smokey wings

Protecting me yet dragging me down into the basement
Smiling, the time isn't right yet
My patience lasts
I fit snaps I'll be closing that door behind me
Black baby wings sprouting since age 12
Carrying me and shielding me from the cold

Thank you for keeping me safe
Keeping me guarded from things I didn't know
Here I am in Life's mystery, confused at times
Other times I am shot down, by baby wings protecting my face but not my heart

As my wings grow many choices come
In the end I know that self-love should always come first
"I can sense the violence in your silence"
My throat tightens as I remember what you said
What am I supposed to read into that?

I close my eyes in hopes of seeing a blank canvas
Something we can create together

Our smiles painting a picture
Our tears casting shadows

I hope that together we can make it work
That pettiness fades and respect blooms like a flower
I love you

Maybe a bit too much
Now do you understand what I mean?
Yet I am learning to be my own soldier
Quotes from "Say Something" by Anna Blue
Strength yet so weak
Love yet so much anger
What are we doing to each other?

I feel small and useless
A fire that has been kicked out
Only the smallest trail of smoke signalling life
My eyes peer around every corner
Why do I feel fear?

I don't want to feel this way forever my Love
Are we here to break each other's hearts?
I cling onto the happiness I have with you

Tell me Baby
Are those words what you really think?
I know I can't forget everything
No matter how much I love you

I can't lose who I am
The anger pierces me like a knife
My wounds are wide open today
Part of me is saying good bye
The sliver of strength seeps out with my tears

I would never want to see you unhappy
It seems the blame always lands on me
I know I did wrong
Yet I cannot ignore your responsibility
Seems invisible to you sometimes

I can live with pain
Yet everyone has their limit
Saying I'm approaching mine rips me apart
In a similar way that your words do

What would be if I said all those things to you?
I have not once threatened to leave you
Do I make it so easy to walk right in and out of my life?

You shut me out for what seems like a life time
We cannot talk it out until later
I do not know what to say or do
I can only take so much

Old thoughts cross my mind these days
Luring me to inflict more pain
So far I can stand strong, fighting that urge
It grows stronger with every fight we have
Hell, even discussions escalate so quickly

Lashing out in anger, I can't shield myself from every hit
I have told you this before
In order for me to live, that has to change
Nowadays I cry because it has only increased

I can only take so much before I break
Many say brown eyes are nothing special
Agreeing would be lying
Yours are a fountain of hope

They can reflect your emotions so clearly
I'd hope to say that when I see them again
I'll get to stare and smile

On the coldest day
Will I be able to turn around
To be warmed with one look
Is that a possibility for me?

They're beautiful is what I want to say
Instead I'll settle for staring
Hoping that my eyes will meet yours
I wish you could have green eyes for a day

To see yourself through mine
See all the love that I have for you
The aura of life that you spread for me
Your eyes are the spark of something I had hoped would never end

The lush green is fading
A lonely void takes its place
I don't know if I can do this without you
The looming reality
Time is running out
I'm fighting alone now

Best friend
It couldn't last forever
I didn't want it to end this way though

Ride or die
Was your lie
Say it one last time

The lies that might surface
I hope they won't cage me in
Otherwise I'll have to run

Then I truly will be alone
So valuable yet so fragile

If I could turn back time I would
I would sacrifice everything to right my wrong doing

Just thinking about it makes me want to die
Please don't take my words lightly
I don't want your fear of losing me to become reality

Regardless of those words
I can feel myself dying inside
Each thought brings me closer to the end
Each tear turns into drops of blood
Each sob tears me apart

I don't know what to do anymore
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