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Lemon Feb 2021
What do you do when every thought consumes you
When every breath brings upon a war
And every second feels like a ticking time bomb ready to explode

What do you do when your life is a lie
When your brain is telling you there's no need to try yet to never stop trying
That everyones fake and just waiting for you to break 

What do you do when every beat causes heartbreak
Every tear causes regret
And the image of every single person you've ever met comes rushing in like they're all stabbing you in the back 

Do you wonder what it's like to be confident?
To know for a fact that you have people to rely on?
Cause every thought that passes through my mind starts with, what if it's a lie? 

Do you know what it feels like to ***** up your anxiety?
To desperately try to flush your fears down the toilet?
To wash away the pain? 

Do you know how it feels to think you're insane?
To question every thought that passes through your brain? 

When the what ifs devour you and leave you as an empty shell
When you can't stop the thoughts from running
Feeling like you're a disease that needs to be eradicated

Or do you feel well?
Lemon Feb 2021
Roses are red
Violets aren't blue
I have never known
A love like you

One who cares
And wants to stay
A love that can flourish
Or wither away

Which road we take
Is up to you
Just promise me
Your love is true
Lemon Feb 2021
With a single step out the door,
The frozen air rushes to my lungs,
Bringing upon an ache one couldn’t imagine.

The world is cold and brittle,
And showed no mercy to the growing plants
That now lack the nutrition they need.

The wind blows tirelessly,
Taking the birds and the bees with it
Will we see them again?

The grass is no longer green,
And the trees crack with every blow.
Will they stand?

The deer have ran,
And the mice too.
Will they intrude into my home?
Do I want them to?

I am left alone awaiting the snow,
Will it join me or leave me feeling blue?

As the warmth leaves my body,
Broken and cold,
I will return to the earth,
But is it still my home?
Lemon Feb 2021
The grass is always greener in someone elses yard,
And the life is always sweeter when it's not your own.
The light shines brighter when you're far from home,
And the darkness is a little quieter when you're in someone elses arms.

We never learn to appreciate what we have,
And who we are,
Instead we mope over what could have been,
What should have been,
And what never will be.

I'm a simp for life,
For loving yourself,
For understanding you get what you get,
With little leeway,
So you have to forget about the rest,
Or what others have to say,
And make the best of your life.

Time heals all wounds,
Thats not exactly true,
But it will help you.
Time is not your enemy,
If you learn to use it wisely,
And let there be some battles you lose,
Give yourself the experiences you need,
To be able to succeed.
Unfollow those who bring you down,
And keep that head up,
Tall and proud.
Lemon Oct 2020
The father watches over his children,
Where they play with their cheap toys.
Where the monster lay in her room,
Screaming at the non existant noise.
The father didn't stop her,
Instead he just ignored.

Where the children lay crying,
Upset from the day.
They watch their father,
Afraid to speak,
For he's supposed to be a protector,
Not someone they fear to see.

As years went on,
And the children grew,
The father chose sides,
Before any of them knew.
And when the day came,
Where the children needed their father,
He chose the monster,

And left them to wonder.
Why was it not enough,
Did we give too little love?
What could make a father give up his children,
To drop all his love for them and move on.

Hes the parent,
The adult.
So why are the children the ones to fight for him,
When its supposed to be the other way around.
Lemon Sep 2020
There are things I've left unspoken,

And thoughts I've pushed away.

There are breaking points I could have avoided,

And pain I could have saved.

Today I started thinking,

What if it was my last day?

Would I be able to see the ones I loved,

Could I say goodbye?

Would I accept my death for what it was,

Or would I be upset and cry?

How would the ones I love handle my departure,

Would it make anyone happy?

Would it bring about any good?

It was at this moment,

All the things I wanted to say,

Everything I wanted to do,

Became a mere memory when I thought about how I would be leaving you.
Lemon Aug 2020
I've come to realise this awful feeling I have, the one that makes my guts turn and my tears fall, the feeling that makes my skin crawl, it's rage. Pure blooded rage.
Any other time I'll deny it, but right now? Right
now I'm angry, I'm furious and I'm sick of
being mistreated and tossed aside like

Day after day I await a response, a simple hello, or I'm just not okay right now, anything would be better than this. Than knowing you're ignoring me and only me. Knowing that any second you could disappear
from my life and feel nothing while I feel
everything. You love me? Yeah right. If you
loved me you wouldn't knowingly put me through
this pain and heartache. So why drag it on? If you're done with me tell me. Dont make me hold out hope that every notification is a text from you, that you'll decide you want me again. Because I need you.

I'm angry,
I'm breaking down,
and you don't have a clue,
or maybe you do and you just dont care.
What's it been, four, no five months since weve
had a real conversation. Since I've had a real
conversation with anyone really. Since you left
me high and dry everyone else has too. So why
am i still fighting for just an ounce of effort
from you. I keep saying, todays the day,
he'll respond I know it, just to be let
down when im once again ignored.
I know youre toxic, i know youre
just gonna keep tearing me
apart, but i can't let you go,
I won't. I love you too much to
care for myself. Till my last breath
I will be waiting for that response, for
the love you say you have for me. And if
that day never comes? Well my life will surely
be a sad one.
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