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Lemon Oct 2020
The father watches over his children,
Where they play with their cheap toys.
Where the monster lay in her room,
Screaming at the non existant noise.
The father didn't stop her,
Instead he just ignored.

Where the children lay crying,
Upset from the day.
They watch their father,
Afraid to speak,
For he's supposed to be a protector,
Not someone they fear to see.

As years went on,
And the children grew,
The father chose sides,
Before any of them knew.
And when the day came,
Where the children needed their father,
He chose the monster,

And left them to wonder.
Why was it not enough,
Did we give too little love?
What could make a father give up his children,
To drop all his love for them and move on.

Hes the parent,
The adult.
So why are the children the ones to fight for him,
When its supposed to be the other way around.
Lemon Sep 2020
There are things I've left unspoken,

And thoughts I've pushed away.

There are breaking points I could have avoided,

And pain I could have saved.

Today I started thinking,

What if it was my last day?

Would I be able to see the ones I loved,

Could I say goodbye?

Would I accept my death for what it was,

Or would I be upset and cry?

How would the ones I love handle my departure,

Would it make anyone happy?

Would it bring about any good?

It was at this moment,

All the things I wanted to say,

Everything I wanted to do,

Became a mere memory when I thought about how I would be leaving you.
Lemon Aug 2020
I've come to realise this awful feeling I have, the one that makes my guts turn and my tears fall, the feeling that makes my skin crawl, it's rage. Pure blooded rage.
Any other time I'll deny it, but right now? Right
now I'm angry, I'm furious and I'm sick of
being mistreated and tossed aside like

Day after day I await a response, a simple hello, or I'm just not okay right now, anything would be better than this. Than knowing you're ignoring me and only me. Knowing that any second you could disappear
from my life and feel nothing while I feel
everything. You love me? Yeah right. If you
loved me you wouldn't knowingly put me through
this pain and heartache. So why drag it on? If you're done with me tell me. Dont make me hold out hope that every notification is a text from you, that you'll decide you want me again. Because I need you.

I'm angry,
I'm breaking down,
and you don't have a clue,
or maybe you do and you just dont care.
What's it been, four, no five months since weve
had a real conversation. Since I've had a real
conversation with anyone really. Since you left
me high and dry everyone else has too. So why
am i still fighting for just an ounce of effort
from you. I keep saying, todays the day,
he'll respond I know it, just to be let
down when im once again ignored.
I know youre toxic, i know youre
just gonna keep tearing me
apart, but i can't let you go,
I won't. I love you too much to
care for myself. Till my last breath
I will be waiting for that response, for
the love you say you have for me. And if
that day never comes? Well my life will surely
be a sad one.
Lemon Aug 2020
Do you not want me anymore?
Have I become too much of a bore?
Have I tired you out with the constant text?
Or did I not show you enough affection?

Please tell me why it is my texts are unanswered.
Why do you reply to all the comments but mine?
Am I not what you want anymore?
Have I lost the attention I adored?

Is the love all gone?
Dried up in the sand.
Am I nolonger the woman you wish to hold hands?
Have you moved on to someone new?
Or has someone old come back for you?

Please just tell me the truth,
Because nothing can hurt me as much as you.
You hold my heart in your hand,
And I know I should give up,
But I refused,
I will stand.
My love for you will not be dormant.
It will not hide away.
So crush me now or let us be okay.
I just need go know the answer before it's too late.

I know it's toxic,
I know I'll end up hurt,
But I love you more than I love myself,
So I'll endure.
Till the bitter end,
When I can feel no more.
I'll love you forever and always,
But I fear your love is only temporary,
And it will surly fade,
Just like my face.
Lemon May 2020
I'm a mess,
thought it was new but its the same old ****,
Same old brain,
Same old body,
Same old failures,
And same old fears,
Same ******* tears.
Will they ever stop flowing?
The answer is no.
Will I ever move on?
Will I ever love who I am?
Sick of feeling sick,
Of being in pain,
Sick of existing this way.
Sick of making myself fade away,
Yet I keep doing it every single day.
Lifes a game,
And im on my last life,
Losing every battle,
Losing my mind.
In the end all I'll be is insane.
Lemon Feb 2020
She says don't get too attached
       Don't let him have your heart
Don't trust his words or actions
       Don't let him tear you apart
Don't let yourself love
       Don't let yourself live
Hide behind my rules
       And don't dare disobey
For you'll only get hurt
       And get lost on the way
Don't make me pick you up
       And clean up the mess
He'll only hurt you
       And cause distress

But little does she know
       I've already fallen in too deep
Past the point of return
       Always and forever we will be
And if not?
       Well then we're not all I thought us to be
But nothing is perfect
        Or goes according to plan
I'm just rolling with the tides
        And letting our love guide me
Till the end
Lemon Feb 2020
Slowly but surely,
I drive you insane,
then I poison your body,
and do it all over again.
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