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Spencer Clayton Jun 2019
Im not alone when im sleeping,even though I'm alone when I'm sleeping,
all alone encased in these four walls, the light won't seep in,
it's a deep thing at the root of my soul & the base of my mind a happy place I  can't find,
Misunderstood **** up, a bitter disappointment to my dad,the man that has done so much,
and yet I've done so little,I feel so little,
Even though the opposite is my biggest prison, with the smallest cage, trapped in my own head, a soup of self loathing & disposing of any real feeling,
Feel distant,all alone in my head,forever distant all alone in my bed,
Can’t escape my head,always something to be said,yet I don’t listen,
a shining star,but barely glisten,
On my ones all the time even with company, negative thoughts are there constantly jumping me,
Confronting me,Dumping me further into this abyss of despair, literally losing my hair, and my last care all in one fell swoop,
The beautiful struggle, life’s constant loop,
I’m more confused than a one sided Rubik's cube,
A spaghetti junction of disfunction,
The assumption everything’s ok, that all is well,
It’s a dark place locked in this cell, my cranium the cage, for my passion, thrashing against the bars,
Yet hidden like my scars,
The assumption everything’s ok, that all is cool,
It’s a very different story inside these four walls.
My feelings
Spencer Clayton Apr 2019
Im Sick to death of money stress,can't borrow,

Broken heart in empty chest just hollow,

Tears rolling down my face pure sorrow,

Same **** different day man I curse tomorrow,

Burnt so much paper on draws & raws,

It's like my life's on pause,  I'm stuck in stasis,

Don't know which way to turn,
I can't face this,

Feel like I've jumped head first  into the matrix,

Red and blue pill, which way will it take us?

The path is forked like the tongues of my haters,

Keyboard warriors they remain faceless,

Your see through, I read you like the papers,

Blue cheese & lemon trees in my grater!!

Loyal to the end,no hater,catch me never,not later

I'm greater than Britain, words so heavy create a crater when written.

Just some words in my head

— The End —