Do you sleep better at night
Rehearsing lies as your lullaby

Serial lover
Onto another
She may survive
But she’ll never recover

She was only three
When she was first introduced to mean
She saw it in her daddy’s eyes
And she heard it in her mothers cries

She was only five
When she realized she didn’t want to be alive
Because of her life being deprived
Of the love she needed to survive

She was only ten
When she first picked up a pen
And wrote her pain out in her journal
Of the day you hurt her, again

She was only eleven
When her Grandma went to heaven
Her best friend and the sweetest love she’s known
The aftermath, it made her cold

She was only fourteen
And judging by her recklessness should have foreseen
She’d be laying in a hospital bed after being abandoned by friends
Cause the relationships only ever brought her to dead ends

She was only Eighteen
When she accepted her abnormality
Of liking the same gender as she
Knowing her family wouldn’t ever agree

She was only twenty-one
When she first realized she could truly have fun
But it only clouded her brain
Knocked her common sense down the drain

She was only twenty-three
When she was taught the opposite of being free
And the world brought her to her knees
And showed how devastating it could be

She was only twenty-six
When she lost all meaning to live
She cried almost every day
Wishing all her problems would go away

She was only twenty-eight
When she realized this was her fate
To grow and heal from who she was
And look how far she’s come

Lucid dreamer
She loves being in control
So the second she wakes up
The world appears dull
She’s a character in a book
But not of her own
Living in a script
Doing what she is told
So at night when she gets home
And she finally falls asleep
She returns to her dream world
Where she controls what she can be

Money is fake
And is taught to be the meaning to life
But the true meaning is love
And that’s why many lose the fight
We get so blinded by deception
Which leads our hearts to oppression
When we finally learn the answer to our questions
Is when we will finally accept the objective

So many messages
Just meaningless texts
She’s craving to be seen
She’s got 20 sent
And received
But not one that asked her how her day is
Or about any of her strange dreams
She wants to tell you about what happen 4pm that day
What video she watched, or her new favorite song to play
And she’s got so many messages in her phone always
But none asking if she’s even okay

It’s sad isn’t it?
How we’re conditioned to think we have forever
We don’t realize how fragile time truly is
Until it’s too late
Until the stories over
And we must turn the page
Never getting closure
So make sure you always say I love you
I know I would
If I could
Start over

Playing without me on repeat
Wondering why I allowed you to make me weak
Used to think you were my strength
But really you were my defeat
Used to be my confidant
But you’re my deceit

I blocked you from my social
Burned all your clothes
Threw away every love letter
Deleted you from my phone
Tried to dead you in every way possible
But whenever I’m on my own
Every memory of you plays in my head
So I’m never truly alone

Darling don’t be a fool
You may love them
But do not do for others
What they wouldn’t do for you

You may love them
But you need to love yourself too

She fell in love with Pennsylvania rain
New York lights
Colorado mountains from a plane
California in pictures
And New Jersey for more reasons than she could explain
No matter where this world takes her
In New Jersey a piece of her heart will always remain

She just wants to be loved
She longs to be seen
She has a heart of gold
She often wears it on her sleeve
She tends to come off too strong
Like a cheap whiskey drink
She’s gone through too many friends
And collects them like her old cd’s
And on the days she’s feeling lonely
She revisits the memories
She’s lost the glimmer of hope
She once had in her teens
Sometimes she even has moments
Where she forgets how to breathe
She just wants to be loved
She longs to be seen
She craves a hand to hold
Because of how difficult life can be

Every time I think it couldn’t get worse
It does
It feels like the world is testing me
But with each heartache
The stronger I become

My girl is sweet but full of spice
Unapproachable cover
She embodies both fire and ice
Complicated yet worth it
She sends me out of my mind
She doesn’t want to commit
But I don’t mind wasting my time