I miss the days I’d roll out of bed
Go straight to the tv
No worries in my head
Eating my favorite cereal
And staying in my pjs until 12pm
Then I’d get dressed midday to play with friends
We’d ride our bikes all around town
We’d laugh and joke
Smiles all around
If only I knew to cherish those days
Because one day you grow up
And the world just doesn’t feel the same

If only my tears could paint the words
Because my tongue does not do my feelings justice
There’s so much more to the picture
And you can get a glimpse but can’t touch it
I want to show you the bleeding heart in me
How at times it makes me feel so caged in
And at other times I feel so free
Because I’m at peace
With who I am
Even though I don’t understand
Why things are the way they are
If not all of the time most of the time
So I mellow out and pour a glass of wine
And try to write out
The feelings inside that are eating at me
That I wish I could paint out perfectly
But I’ll always just give you a glimpse
And you’ll never know the real me

I believe in second chances
And sometimes even 100 or more
I believe in loving with your whole heart
Even when it falls to the floor
I believe in treating others with respect
No matter what they do or where they come from
I believe in heartache and regret
Because God knows I definitely have some
I believe in sticking to your word
Even when things get hard
I believe everyone deserves to be heard
Even when you may disagree
And you should always try to make time
Because you never know what tomorrow may bring

Had a dream about you last night
But it wasn’t filled with love
It was filled with rage and repressed feelings
Of words I never got to say
I can’t figure out if I still care or if I hate you
Is it possible to be somewhere in between
Is it possible to want to kiss you
But first feel the need to scream
Is it possible to miss you
And never want to see you again
Is it possible I’ll hold these feelings forever
And that these wounds you made will never mend

I’ll go to the grave
With everything I want to say
I’m too fearful of the unknown
When really I shouldn’t be

It’s sad I would rather hide the truth
Because there’s people I’m scared to lose
But if opening my mouth caused them to flee
They truly can’t be that good for me

But still I love them with my all
Even though I know they wouldn’t understand
And everyday I’m closer to going to the grave
With everything I want to say

Making conversation with these 4 walls
Trying to make doorways out of concrete ends
Sleeping with my enemies
Only because they’re disguised as my friends