Don’t do it.
“You really think I care?”
This isn’t you
“I hate you!”
Stop, be done and let it rest
“You make me miserable, not them.”
End it, you’ll only cause damage and pain, you’re blind with anger and you should walk away
”You make me wish I were dead."
Said in deadpan, voice with no inflection, yet packed with emotion
There it is, you've done it now. See their tears? See the way they threaten to fall?
Please, see me! I don't mean it
Yes I do
No I don't!
I stand there, helpless in rage, even as unwanted tears roll down my cheeks
As I watch I see their fury slowly die
Replaced by hurt and anguish
And soon my anger, too, fades away
Yet the words are already out
I feel as if I were an insect caught fast in a web
The more I thrash and strike, the more I am ensnared
They turn away, their face is hidden
Yet still I stand here inert
Inside something cracks and shatters
Yet I do not reach out my hand
Slowly they draw themselves up
Away from my piercing words
Away from the dagger that has become my tongue
Away from my bullets disguised as speech
Away, away, away
Away from me
Suddenly I stagger forwards,
calling out their name!
"Wait! I... I..."
The sentence hangs, it must have caught between my heart and mouth
Please, I didn't mean it!
I want to howl
Please, don't listen to me
I was trapped in the heat of my fury, and fool enough to let it show
I want to scream after them
"Please, see me
Not my words
Please... please, don't walk away"
I would quietly beg
My voice hoarse and expression haggard, I would stand there limply
And they would walk briskly back and we would embrace and all would be well and and and...
I could not speak any of this
And so away they walked
Into the gloomy night
And me, still standing there
My heart so loud yet my mouth too slow, too slow and too fast
Finally, I too turn away, eyes damp and heart heavy, full of words unsaid
I climb numbly up, back to my room
And write all the things I wish I would say
Distantly hoping that next time, they might find their way out sooner
Maybe there will be another chance,
Maybe it's too late
Maybe they will forgive me
Maybe they're too far gone
Maybe, maybe, maybe...
Maybe my mind will work better tomorrow
But if not, at least
I have the words down now
Finally set in ink and paper
Will they ever see this poem, I wonder?
Sometimes we all get caught up in our emotions. Some less, some more, but everyone has, and it's hard when there are all these thoughts inside but you Just. Can't. get them out.