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Oct 8 · 160
🧿
It was a rainy morning
8:12AM, a cup of tea and my favorite cooked greens. I felt the cold breeze of simplicity hit me, carefree doubts left to be and I smiled at how peaceful one can be. While Yaksta enlightened me with the truth about ambition.
If only I had the birds and lizard and even the bees to talk to, then surely I would not have an inch of complain about perfection. But I was contented in that moment. My very own fairy tale without magic had happened and I saw clouds go. But what I couldn’t deny, was that I was once unsure of ever being this calm about my failures, or even my minor downfalls. But I was !
And I was ready to trade it all for days like this over and over again.
But that possibility would only be real with me. And I needed not to loose faith that I am capable of making life as beautiful as today
There wasn’t any sugar coated words, nor exaggerated thoughts. Just a simple wow at how this day started and a thank you to the one who gave it.
For once I saw the need for the cobweb above my door, even the dust that blew upon my porch had made me less angry at myself.
And the scratches on my door felt so tranquil without a need to be.
And for once I wasn’t building fantasies or dreams in my head, just embracing everything as it was.
And I loved that so much.
I even wanted to cry, but that was old school, so I held it in and smiled.
If I was to be great. If I am to be great, I’m sure I will always run back home here when I get scared.
Back here, where cobwebs made less the fear of being sad, here where the dust had more in it than just being messy.
Maybe with another cup of tea. If the kettle wished to cooperate.
I Am happy. And I thank you.
Aug 27 · 328
Hungry Words
I wrote a book and labeled it love
No one bought it
I wrote a next one and labeled it
How to love
And it sold out
No extras no one piece
And then I knew it
I found and discovered it
We aren’t a specie that needs to know anything
We just want to know how about everything
And ironically it’s sadly the same thing
But what can immortality do, to persuade truth
I have made decisions and I have loved with them
But never have I reaped from them
And that’s a seed that I won’t plant again
But then society is heard
And maybe I’m back to planting
Spending fruitful years on infertile land
Aug 23 · 212
Wondering
I’m wondering if I’ll make it
If I’ll look back one day
And be at peace and feel relieved
And just smile at the breeze that blows my way
Cause I know that life paid it’s bill
I wonder if I’ll survive
And have stories to write
For everyone to know that hope isn’t just a word
I’m curious to know
If I’ll make it out whole
With comfort and happiness to share
And I’m scared to know
If I’ll loose this battle
If I’ll loose like it was normal
But I’m wondering everyday
And I’ll keep on doing my best
Aug 19 · 275
Growing
I’m learning to grow without his love
Embracing the fears on my own
Knowing that stability will only be as strong as I go
And nurturing my heart to be bold without love
I’m learning it all
And viewing the world as my very own
Seeing nakedly the ugly touch of a fatherless child
And I’m going strong
With adversity in not knowing how hows are done
And with no shame in plane sight
I walk with my head high
Calling on a heavily father, to fill that hole
And I’m desperate to make it on my own
To show him that a father isn’t all
So I’m learning to grow
While I hold myself together
So I can be whole at the end of this line
Aug 14 · 130
Thank You
Mask me make me
A murderer
One with arrow-less views
One with clean hands
And an elegant smile
Make me mask me
From this world before life becomes valueless to me
Wipe my tears, and let me see
My faults, my wrongs
Let me see
That no human can fix me
It’s all up to me
And that’s the bitter truth
Mask me fix me
Into someone who will survive
Into someone who can survive
Mask me make me
Happier than last year me
Help me ignore my sins
Even the ones I live by
Mask me save me
Like a bitterly butterfly
Make me a cocoon to run away into
Feel me forgive me
I’m going slowly
Giving up without an audience
Tell my depression I’m sorry
I failed it
Love me hug me
That’s all I need
And with every duty I have towards you
Thank you
Aug 14 · 179
Let’s Fly
Let’s fly up high
For why should I be shy
To fly above my society height
Why should I be ?
Extradited from failure
I’m a woman in multiple sheets of flesh
I’m a woman with more than one hurt
I’m a woman with endless believes that I should be
And I’m a woman still
I’m a woman not fighting depression
But trying to show it love too
I’m a woman who hopes that a new day will bring some sort of miracle
I’m a woman. And that’s wonderful enough
So let’s fly up high
Even if the world says you’re a *****
Define you’re world
For you have sold every part of yourself for others to survive
So please fly
Up high
And if a tear should fall behind
It will be loved by me and every woman that survived
Aug 12 · 212
The Limping Man
He had shown me how fluent time can be
With patience and pace, towards every day
He had shown me where destitution came and go
Politely asking how my days have stood
The limping man had shown it all.
The faculties of living a life.
Aug 5 · 230
10) To Me
Many would take life out of you
And then ask why you’re dying
Why discouragement plasters your face
Why multitude of hate reeks from your aroma
Doubting they’re involvement
Saying they are of no blame
Toning they’re place within your days
Many have taken life out of you
And ask of you ‘why are you dying’
But you haven’t answered
You haven’t stood firm and said the line
And all I can do is say sorry to you
For never saying enough is enough
Now you are dying
And only time can offer a miracle.
I love you and I hope you survive.
Aug 5 · 263
9) To Me
Every part wants to be loved
The twisted mind and the rotten faith
I have cursed my soul
Ploughing the little hope left for my worth
A *****, a title I’ve known
Selling more than just my love
‘She’s a different level’
That’s all that was told
And with many more against my role
Yet I’m known as the perfect *****
Aug 1 · 406
8) To Me
It took time
Didn’t it ?
The comfort, the peace of mind
They all took time.
And I wondered what he would call me
When the fire raise and heaven doors became stairs.
Jul 27 · 333
7) To Me
I’m figuring it out too
What’s love
I’m learning it’s different sides
That’s love
I’m feeling it’s impact
So loved
I’m figuring it out
And now is see, what’s love
Taking little pieces until there in not a whole of you
Knowing love isn’t for the weak
It’s a reward they can have
But a journey they would fail
I’m figuring it out
And I’ll tell you this
I wish not to have loved nor be loved
Jul 24 · 198
6) To Me
Why hurry
When was the finish line made
When was it all capable of coming to an end
Was it the silver strings that grew amongst the black youth
Or was it the timely pain that came against knees and joints
What was it ?
That made you loose track of your path
Did your mistakes pulled you away
Or was it your doubts that missed flights on its way
To opportunities.
Why did you hurry away ?
Jul 24 · 253
5) To Me
You had built solid dreams
Firm in its belief
Allowing wishes a place in reality
You had done that
Without help.
But yet you saw yourself less profitable
Than the ones on billboards
Pretending to be of greater creation.
And I asked you why ?
Why be that selfless
And all you said
Was time knows it’s way.
Jul 24 · 213
4) To Me
She knew;
Of the lies you spoke to her
Of the many times you pretended to be okay
She knew of those days when you failed
Those days, where you stood but wasn’t shown
She knew of the pressure of every mistake
The weight it brought
And,
The outcomes it gave
She knew it all
And yet you kept on going
Lying to her
That you’re okay.
Jul 24 · 158
3) To Me
The torments you have inflicted
Have sown it’s way deep down within your soul
Your loneliness had brought fertility to the soils of forgiveness
And again you go
Undefeated.
For all that comes your way
Had survived;
While you jump ships as they sunk.
You kept your head high enough
And made it home
Over and over again.
Jul 20 · 185
2) To me
Set boundaries
And you’ll shift
From heaps of doubt of if’s and but’s
Walk proudly
And your back will ache slowly but surely
Take care of this body
And it will fail you in every way possible
Give up on it all
And you’ll scrape at hate for your soul
But do it no matter what
And you’ll sleep not sound but long enough
And when you wake
You’ll know another day
Will make it great
Jul 20 · 440
1) To Me
I want to write to you
In every language there may be
I want you to know the depth of my words
I want you to know that your effort did more than it should
I want you to know even in dark days, these words will reminisce and bring light your way
I want you to know it’s great when you fail
I want you to know it all
And be okay with what you know
Apr 22 · 122
Truth
Home, stay with me
Play a song for memories
Hold pillows close enough for many tears
Help the needy within me
Find hope and faith for me
Jan 15 · 244
Knowing
Tribulations reign over my faith
And what is right has no longer any wrongs
But awareness of an ending has left me stranded
Substituting happiness for a little love
And that’s how I know,
Life never really knows
Jan 12 · 167
Wrongs
A church’s cloth has woolen innocence
Leaving man to feel right
Adding happiness to its life
Only to make blind the reality of time.
Dec 2020 · 161
To Me
Sillo Anderson Dec 2020
I hope one day you have the courage to run away from everything that makes you miserable
From everything that drains your soul
Eats at your peace, and darkens your world
I hope one day you stand in awe,
And pat yourself on the shoulder and say thank you for having patience.
I hope one day, you see that there's good from every bad.
And that every bad doesn't last long
I hope one day I'll see you
And know it was all worth it.
Dec 2020 · 422
I’m a Poet
Sillo Anderson Dec 2020
I’m a poet
Despite the legacy made from the ones before me
Bold and energetic with words of untold secrets
Dec 2020 · 158
Clustered
Sillo Anderson Dec 2020
I felt clustered by the world
Overtook by its law
Overlooked by its god
Searching for purpose in its raw divine
Meddling amongst all that resides
And with secluded time
Life became smaller and out of sight
Leaving a hopeless romantic lost and behind
But I was hoping, like every human in searching
That better days were not just statements
And no matter the little time given
I’ll not be clustered but free to believe
In whatever I feel to be
Nov 2020 · 98
Life
Sillo Anderson Nov 2020
Faulty hope embarks on fools
Many wealthy individuals
Sourcing truth from below
Taming hate by repeated faith
And calling life a game to be denied
Waltzing behind red curtains
Even I have taken a bow
Nov 2020 · 169
Happiness
Sillo Anderson Nov 2020
Happiness knows itself
It knows of pleasures and possessions
Faulty revolutions and timid behaviors
Happiness knows
And I have met once that happiness in my life
Made new a friend and made aware a change
And through every corner of my life
Little wind of madness blew
And saved I from death
Sep 2020 · 265
Finding love
Sillo Anderson Sep 2020
It fulfilled the desires of my eye,
but yet in my head it seems to be poison to my aspects of life,
I crave love, but we confuse this with lust,
I fear hurt
I crave trust but people forget their worth and in the end we all get hurt.
Sep 2020 · 142
Time Capsule
Sillo Anderson Sep 2020
In letters that form words, I have stored time for a future to come
In water that form tears, I have stored time for relief of hurt
In little actions that makes change, I have stored time to reap hope
In family I have lost time, I stored for a peaceful parting from this world
And I’m all the time I have been giving
So where does my time capsule call home
Sep 2020 · 207
Those Daughters
Sillo Anderson Sep 2020
There are daughters that burst boils on a fathers face
Mine prefers an argument over why I shouldn’t be right
There are those daughters that are reminded they are loved
While I am enlightened as to why I shouldn’t be loved
There are those who knows what a father is
While I ask every man what a man is
There are those daughters that can cry on a fathers shoulders
But I have to find remorse and comfort amongst four walls
There are those daughters that accomplish miracles
While I search for fuel in strangers to make it to the moon
There are those daughters
And then there is me
Sep 2020 · 166
Dormant Love
Sillo Anderson Sep 2020
A picture framed from pain
Brightened from negativity in a tin
Forced to be sold for more than its worth
That's the life she lives
Abstained from hope, forcefully on hold
With sweet lies to hold, but yet its cold
That's the life she lives
And with prayers grown in every word
No kingdom above has claimed her call
While many serpents shed new lives
She's stagnant in what may be right
That's the life she lives
And for the many souls she turns to for love
A profit they want from the little she owns
But at the end of it all
That's the life she lives
Without need for hope concealed by dormant love
Sep 2020 · 95
ENOUGH
Sillo Anderson Sep 2020
3RD SEPTEMBER, 2020
HE DID IT AGAIN
HE MADE ME A ***** FOR HURT
SHAMED MY SOUL FOR BEING ALIVE
AND GAVE ME A WORD TO HOLD
DEATH IS MY WORD
IT WILL BE TILL TIME KNOWS OF ITS CALL
3RD SEPTEMBER, 2020
I WAS ALIVE, BUT THEN I DIED

AND THEN DEATH BECAME MY WORLD
AND THEN I BECAME WHOLE

FOR WHAT SHOULD LIFE THROW
IF NOT LOVE OR WORTH
WHAT SHOULD I HOLD IF NOT LOVE TO CALL MY OWN
I SAY ENOUGH, IS ENOUGH
ENOUGH IS MORE THAN ENOUGH
AND WEALTH IS HEAVIER THAN LUST
SO HOME I GO TO THE LORD I KNOW
AND MAYBE HE MIGHT OPEN A DOOR
FOR A SINNER WITHOUT A SOUL
Sep 2020 · 421
A Stepmother
Sillo Anderson Sep 2020
I have a stepmother
One with intuition,
To know where I hurt
To know how I hurt
And to see that I hurt
She’s keen on holding such knowledge only to hurt my powers
I was loving
Now I’m scared
I was happy
Now I’m loosing faith
I was me
Now I’m growing to be
Someone I’ve never seen
I have a stepmother
And it isn’t easy
I doubt miracles and go blind looking for life
I’m weak with every new day I seek
I’m lost with every step I take
I have a stepmother
So I know, what not having love is all about
I know what anger and hate is all about
I know a lot more, but I’m not sure if I can continue on
I have lived only for being alive
I have grown for there’s no other option allowed
I have become because I have a stepmother
And it’s the only way out
Aug 2020 · 162
The Dark Man
Sillo Anderson Aug 2020
The dark man has always entice me
Never short of flavor
Never lacking etiquette
And never impotent towards a woman’s heart
With melanin so pure
I wonder what more do they have in store.
Even with systematic abuse
They have stood firm in being the greatest creation ever produced
Racism forges hate towards their race, but many do see what a waste it would be
To hate and discriminate
The dark man’s race
For what crime have they commit
That differs from what we all have did
The dark man is my wish
And surely it should be your wish.
Aug 2020 · 113
Unbalanced
Sillo Anderson Aug 2020
Politely ashamed of where I am today
Sad but brave to go another day
But here I am with a smile on my face
Feeling the burn of pretending everyday
But happy for a break, whenever life sees it fit
Aug 2020 · 109
Ex’s
Sillo Anderson Aug 2020
One ex drove twice around the block
Maybe to see twice what he had
Or to see twice where I am
One ex came twice into the store
Once alone and once with his new love
One ex came alone
Maybe to show me he’s around
Or maybe I’ve got a chance
One ex came with her girl
But too many times for I to keep tract
Once with her mate and many times
With other lovers
On ex came alone
But I never knew she still had concerns
She came brave and filled
And other times she reminded me
I’m still loved
One ex slide through
Unannounced and uninvited
He strolled through my paths
Unbothered but allured
One ex never showed memories of being owned
And he made it clear that I was alone
One ex never judged
But never said she felt love
And now
I’m planting more seeds
To reap more ex’s of my own
And yes,
I’m the ex that called myself the *****
Aug 2020 · 268
What Is ?
Sillo Anderson Aug 2020
With many doubts
With many hurts
With many hate
With many faith
Life has become bland
Tilting over its rim
Yet waste adds not an inch of change
And change is all I crave
so what’s new in this dish made
What’s new for I to slave
Aug 2020 · 113
Tell Me
Sillo Anderson Aug 2020
What is depression
Is it a pinch of salt
Or is it a pinch of sugar
Let me know
Cause I have given up
In being showed
With Ingredients made from my own
So please
Let me know
Aug 2020 · 201
Poverty
Sillo Anderson Aug 2020
Poverty never dies in time
Neither does it want to
It grows faster than sun rays
Faster than fun times
Believe me as I say
I’ve seen it in the day
Clear without fade
Frail with more hate
Poverty never dies
For wealth has always stayed in its prime
And power made it, the one
So poverty will never die
And wealth will never cry
Aug 2020 · 142
Perpetually
Sillo Anderson Aug 2020
Perpetually I stand, amongst foes and friends
Amongst enemies and blood
Searching for doubt or strong hope
And with reluctance’s in an every day life
I’m bound to lie for faith
For hate knows of a place
Where comfort sheds no tears
And with all efforts racing towards a dead end
Stranded perpetually I am.

But life salvages thrusted emotions
And vaults erects from actions blinded by lost
So stand perpetually,
And look over a horizon in hope of less hurt
Aug 2020 · 139
Depression
Sillo Anderson Aug 2020
My loneliness has become my love
My depression has showed me compassion
And my pain has remembered My existence
I have grown
And I have become
Alive only, for being alive
Giving way to being high
Has brought comfort to failures
Suicide has made me timid
And family reminds me everyday
That I’m a waste of precious time
For all of the times I have rained sober
Never was there justice
But now the devil knows my name
And now I feel all good again
Aug 2020 · 175
She Tried
Sillo Anderson Aug 2020
She hoped for one day to never pray
To never see dawn again
To have life taken from faith
For never was she ungrateful for breath
And never was she happy with it
Many saw what assumptions allowed
And many judged for what she ignored
But purpose began to wither
And dreams did it’s bid
And throughout every new day
She wondered why the gods would let her stay
But morals never made a way
And she lived only on that day
Aug 2020 · 218
YOU
Sillo Anderson Aug 2020
YOU
The least of you
The Minimum of  love from you
I have gotten the smallest of affection
And I ask why !
Why father, why ?
I question my purpose
I query my existence
Always frowning when I’m around
Always silent when we are alone
Do you not know I’m your daughter
Or do you not want me to be
Why have you given me hurt and not love
What have I done
Have I burden your youth
Have I taken your joy
Or have I doubled your disbeliefs
Whatever it may be
I am sorry
And I hope my death
Makes you free
Jul 2020 · 221
A Little Girl
Sillo Anderson Jul 2020
I knew a little girl
A little girl with love
She knew of purity and happiness
She knew of faith and patience
I knew that little girl
Divine and real
She became less of the little girl I knew
Ruptured by pretense
Ruptured by having to be what she preferred not to be
I knew that little girl
And she knew me
Many days I smiled with her
Many days we talk on happiness
Many days I looked at her
And saw her pain
Many days I knew that girl
But reflections in a mirror never solved her misery
Jul 2020 · 122
Growth
Sillo Anderson Jul 2020
I grew up in a home
Where tears built foundations
Pain kept walls up
And hurt maintained worth
Where lies covered you at night
And despair prepared you for a new day
I grew up in that home
And I found fear
I found hate
And I found regrets
That’s the home I grew up in
And no matter the length of my hope
Those walls kept me in alone
But death knew my worth
And gave a hand whenever I felt alone
But my grasps were never strong
And even death slipped away from I
And now I’m here waiting on something to call home
Jul 2020 · 225
Hold Me Close
Sillo Anderson Jul 2020
Parents always wants you to fix what they broke
Why?
To give meaning and rights to hurt and pain
I know I’m not good enough
I know
But why ?
Are my legs not pretty enough for you to claim
And say that is my offspring
Am I not accomplished enough for you to love me
What is it, that I lack
That keeps me away from love
Broken and ruined are the roads you put in front of me
And I wonder why
Every time I hold a knife in my hand
But why ?
Why force pain into my heart and soul
Why ******* my life
Jul 2020 · 162
My Body
Sillo Anderson Jul 2020
Some days I love my body
Wanting to enhance it
Making more stretch marks
Adding to the overloaded cellulites
Some days I’ll keep it all
And some days I wish for another
With porcelain skin
And molded firm as a sculpture of perfection as fitted by social approval
And then some days I care less of what it may look like
Whether overworked or fully aware
Or lacking extras
But most days
I’m adding cellulites as if they came with my delivery into this world
And I’m loving it
Jun 2020 · 138
I’m Happy
Sillo Anderson Jun 2020
I’m happy
An endless new day
A brew of fresh fear
A determination for more bravery
I’m happy.
May 2020 · 255
I’m
Sillo Anderson May 2020
I’m fed up
Of wanting love and it’s touch
Of pleading with wrongs and lust
And of speaking truth, only to be abused.
I am fed up
But time drags heavy on my life
And moments come shorter than natural
And sometimes prayers becomes like a drug
Applying only to what society allows
But I find myself still hanging around those wattles
Still reaping hope from my troubles
And even though I know my downfalls
There’s still respect to never ignore its wonders
But !
I am fed up
Of this entertainment I somehow manage to sum up.
May 2020 · 296
Believe Me
Sillo Anderson May 2020
Believe me as I stay
Unbroken and lost from all grace
As fighters embark on what is all faith
Untouched by hurt that molded my heart
Believe me as I stay.
Unwilling to beg for love from peers and liars
No matter the lost I may face each day
Believe me
For every woman I grow into
Has loved unkindly the role she plays
And further the whistle I blow
The louder my role goes.
Believe me as I stay
For origins no longer confess our sins
And contention stays in our will.
May 2020 · 171
Love Do Hurt
Sillo Anderson May 2020
Love hurts, but not like the simplicity of the 5 letter word it is. It feasts on your mind and makes it way down to the heart. Burns your memories, only to play it all back like a magic trick. And at the end of a day, you wish for it to be your last of every days. But love is wicked, it never kills. Taunting your soul, your body knows no hope. Fragile and unaware of what road it may take. Love hurts in many ways. It’s ironic way of making you brave only to say, it was all a mistake. But there’s a naked hope we all fail to hear. A feeling of relief and supreme ecstasy when this roller coaster called love is over. And with all scars and broken hearts we stand high and say “What a lesson to learn”.
May 2020 · 233
Fleeting
Sillo Anderson May 2020
A life in fleet
Earning more than keeps
Reluctant by the many selfish acts of beliefs
Even through prosperity.

As a world would see
Wealth and prosperity
A life would feel
Disbelief and irony
Fighting for hope in dimmed sunlight
It’s all a journey we never reach.

A life in fleet
Will be the end of me
A life in fleet
Could be the end of me.
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