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sophie Oct 2018
There are times when it hurts real bad in my chest..and i wonder if anyone else feels that way too..

for so long life has poisoned my heart, i have felt wounds embedded in me for so long black roses might bloom..it hurts more with attempt to heal, to hold the remains of my heart together...

some mornings, my heart is happy as though it has known no pain but some mornings my heart is a shadow that has known no light.

Times without number ,i've lost hope to feel happiness. Pain has drowned the memories from the times i felt genuine happiness.

I could **** for the days when everything feels right, when some one smiles because they are happy to see me, the times someone hugs me because they feel like its right and the times someone thinks am special and beautiful, the times i've been kissed while i thought i wasn't loveable. they have no idea that a part of me heals from the beautiful little things they do for me.

Sometimes my heart heals because its loved but it hurts more because it loves. It loves and forgets all possibility of brokenness. Yet everyday i still think love is everything, everything.

To me love is the greatest gift this life has to offer...a treasure unaffordable. but yet love has been my demise, it causes my chest to ache when i dont want it to..

Much as i want love, i feel like my heart is a sieve and love is a liquid...and i think I'll struggle to keep it forever.
Trial to draw feelings in alphabets.
sophie Mar 2018
She turned her back on her mistakes.
she saw past the worst part of who she was inside.
It felt like a twist in time.
She chose to share her love again but it felt like shooting broken Arrows.
sophie Mar 2018
I'll dress my sky with my own stars and watch them shine.
They will be brighter on my darkest nights and will rejoice with me through life's joys.
Maybe they will stop glowing but until then i will not remember what its like to sleep through a long dark night..
sophie Mar 2018
When life became a bottomless pit,
when I learnt how to bury my pain,
When I learnt what its like to have a broken heart,
When my pieces were broken beyond repair.
It's then that I found it harder to love my self,
Harder to love.
At 19 is when nights became a time of grief,
Sowing depression  inside my soul,
Filling me with bitterness.

And now I cry every middle of the night for the same **** thing.
sophie Mar 2018
Sometimes all I have is my smile.
Sometimes I feel trapped in my past
With its pain tattooed on my words, embedded in my thoughts.
there is a tear everytime I blink.
Sometimes I love who iam.
Sometimes I wish my life was different.
Sometimes I'm deeply  hurt and yet my shell is as strong as taitanium.
Most times on the inside, I curl up in tears.
Everyday, I talk to the moon about my dreams,
Dreams of a life I hope to live
But I tremble with fear of never living those dreams.
Sometimes I want to love and sometimes I want to be loved.
And most times I cry because no one will ever read the poems I write in the stillness of my lonely nights.
sophie Feb 2018
Dear darling,
At your grave I planted roses,red like the blood that flows in my veins. The same veins in which your love reigned.
Thorny like every night I spend without you and of all the things I miss, I miss the reflection of me in your eyes.
Soon these Roses will die away but I will come back and plant more cause for as long as the stars are above me my love for you shall live.
This time when they grow, I hope they are black, maybe their roots will let you know how dark it is inside my heart. With no light. Rest in peace my love until I see you again.
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