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 Nov 2018 Sienna
The Dybbuk
 Nov 2018 Sienna
The Dybbuk
The game stops being fun,
When you spend a night full-throttle,
And can't remember if your headache's,
from a needle or a bottle.
The game stops being cool,
When you throw up in your yard,
When you look inside your mirror,
And behind your eye's you're scarred.
The game stops being fine,
When you start to fear a hug,
Because you almost check their pockets,
For some money, for some drugs.
The game comes to an end,
When you realize what you are,
When you give in to your urges,
And you OD in your car.
~~Everything is fine~~
 Nov 2018 Sienna
The uniVerse
Beauty lies bereft and bound
it cries for help but utters no sound
mascara kisses fade from your lips
etched by lovers worn fingertips
purple rings around sullen eyes
the broken skin it never lies
fists of thunder make not the man
nor the swift strike of back of hand
a thousand apologies can never repair
the displacement of a single hair
for she is not an object for you to own
she is a Queen that deserves a throne
and if she allows you to enter her chamber
it's also her decision if you should remain there.
her beauty is boundless
and cannot be tamed
all those who try
should be shamed

***** I have shared my poems on this website now since 2015 and this is my first daily, it has been a privilege and I appreciate all the lovely comments <3 *****
 Mar 2018 Sienna
Seven Years
 Mar 2018 Sienna
It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived
 Mar 2018 Sienna
i am full
at the sight of your perfectly shaped smile,
i am missing nothing
but I know to hold this feeling for a while.

the shape of your face:
every wrinkle, every bump I trace
just to remember how it feels,
your eternal beauty so surreal.

how could I ever forget,
the happiness you brought my heart.
how could I not remember
you: my piece of art.

i, now, am terrified.
i miss the touch of your lips
instead of the tears I cried,
i miss the touch of your fingertips.

will I ever feel this again,
besides in my dreams, of course?
 Mar 2018 Sienna
I'm sorry
 Mar 2018 Sienna
No I cannot be your friend,
That’s not how our story started or how we did end.
We fell in love and walked on clouds, we danced and laughed and stood together proud.
You told me you loved me every day but now it is gone.
Like rain stops play.

No I cannot be your friend.
You gave that up when on lazy days you’d rather be alone and say,
"I’m too tired to go out today.”
You gave that up when all the world could see
the fading love and falling leaves.

You lost your right that fateful day to ever have me as your friend.
When I could no longer stand the pain of feeling low and small and plain.
I couldn’t share my thoughts with you, they got stuck inside my chest like glue.
All this time I’ve had to mourn; the loss, the hurt, the shame, the scorn.

And now you tell me how much you miss me!
How not knowing how I am or what I'm doing is driving you crazy!
Sending cheery notes and wanting to see me,
As if you are a long lost friend but that's not the case
And not helping me mend.

I can’t share with you in your happiness at meeting someone new
or silly jokes or brand new shoes.
I can’t share with you when I feel sad coz you’re the one who broke me bad.

I’m sorry darling, please forgive me
But I really cannot be your friend.
 Feb 2018 Sienna
 Feb 2018 Sienna
I had a dream.
An imaginary scene.
Unconsciously playing
Of what I may have seen.

But it was not what I had seemed.
In which he sat behind me, smiling.
Then tears rolled down on my cheeks.
Felt stopping him from leaving.

I looked down from where we are.
And found us walking in opposites.
He wrapped his hands around me,
Closer than ever at where he sits.

Comforted me with warm voice.
Realization came at last.
Half asleep-  half awake.
Stared at his eyes- indeed t'was him.

The guy I shouldn't have loved.
The guy who can't even be mine
Well, I've got no choice left now.
Should I stop hoping for the sign?
 Feb 2018 Sienna
Vale Luna
(read forward, then backward, line by line)

I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Consumed by
I was heightened by
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Forward: from the victims perspective.
Backward: from the murderers perspective.

 Feb 2018 Sienna
I've got a lot of questions
And I've learned a lot of lessons
But the relentlessness to ask 'em
  Always keeps me guessin'
You learn things better the hard way...
Should I starve today
  and spend my money on the lottery?
Or buy a 12 pack and attack another artery
Every day it's gettin' harder for me
But it's feelin' like there's a part of me
That's startin' me to realize
things ain't really like they oughta be.
People's justification and rationalization
Keep me tuned in on a station
findin' life even more evasive.
and I find myself just wasting
all my patience on just waitin'
and thinking in contemplation
When I awaken...
Will I still wander while I wonder
And wonder while I wander
How much longer
it'll be
'til we grow strong enough to see
that what we actually believe
isn't fact
and we've been decieved
everyone will be relieved
That we just need to plant a seed
And a new garden will grow
Like it did so long ago to make today
And in our day and age
It seems that things will never change
But change today or walk the plank
Steady movin' up the ranks
Until I stopped and thought in thanks
to the conclusions I draw and then erase.
Listen to my inner dialogue it says...
Only reason we're breathin'
Is cuz while others were bleedin'
People were seein' the treason
And called together a meetin'
  To declare authority
A reason of ignoring me
A reason of exploring the seas
A reason of cuttin' down trees
where animals used to breathe and live free.
Instead we lock 'em in cages
or shoot 'em with 22 gauges
It's so outrageous
Our worth is based on our wages
We **** to get some bills
with a buncha old guy's faces
And sit back in amazement
With a smile on our face-lift
Wrote most of this when I was much younger...hence the title...enjoy angry teenage me. Somehow I remembered most of it. Lol...
 Feb 2018 Sienna
 Feb 2018 Sienna
Death is a funny thing.

Everyone says it is something that we must accept when it comes to us.

That it is something that we cannot avoid or change.

Death is more than that.

Death is something with which we should be more or less a companion.

Once we become friendly with Death, we no longer fear it.

We see it for what it truly is.

Not frightening, torture, or a bad omen,

but freedom.
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