E - Hello Poetry

Jul 2021

Kelly

Insecure

Forever wondering how did I end up here
Never realizing the blame is on me
Having no energy to shed these tears
Forever yearning for a better me

Hopeless, where do I begin?
Hopeless, does this ever end?
Hopeless, having love never be enough.
Hopeless, please just don’t give up.

Craving more from this shell of mine.
Can’t seem to push through the fog of a life I have created covered in mixed messages and signals I don’t understand.

Do you get me? Do I like me?
Do you know me, because I can tell you I am a lioness just waiting for life to
release me from its choking grasp.

I am more powerful than you can imagine, I just can’t summon the strength.
My mind bends and moves over a plane that you don’t see.
You ask how can this be? And I would say you truly don’t know me.

Why do I try to hide… It’s because YOU can’t handle my power inside.
You can’t feel what I feel. You can’t handle this burden.
When will this burden truly be a gift?
I know there is potential in every piece of me
But potential without energy is just unmoving power
And unmoving power is nothing.
Why have I been blessed with this gift,
This gift to see and feel everything you don’t.
You don’t know me, no one does.
I show you a glimpse of me and you cringe and curl away.
I am more valuable than you think.
This world cannot handle me.
I hide myself because you can’t understand the strength and love flowing through me.
I want to be Free, Please let me just be me.

#powerful #infj #emotional #insecure #potential #inner #self #motivation

Jul 2021

Celestinus Castillo

Pursuing Preference

If I'm always the odd one out
I must follow where everyone goes
Regardless whether I want it or not
Just to keep everyone close
I've been conditioned to learn
From others, to always want more
More friends equates to more love
Be more successful than before
But fame and fortune do not excite me
I relish in private solitude
I'm reshaping my view on difference
As a preference I'm willing to pursue

#different #infj #introvert #society #fame #pursue #solitude

E Jun 2021

rage.

body in a rage
blood bubbles rummaging
horns begin to make an entertrance
howls of shrieking agony
veins shattering
with pupils dilated and saliva trailing down my crimson stained lips
your best bet is to run.
get the **** away from me.

Previously unreleased from April of 2021.

#ftm #queer #lgbt #anger #rage #seething

Jun 2021

Grace Urquhart

NYC for the INFJ

New York City
Biggest city
In the USA
Population
8.4 million souls
Kansas
Rank of U.S. states by population:
34
2.9 million souls
How could a small town girl from Kansas
3,500 souls
Ever feel at home in
NYC?
Well
The answer is quite simple
...
INFJ
...
Because
In fact
I love people
With all of my heart,
I love people
I love to watch and feel and see and listen
To them
But I don't want a real
Connection
With them
Those souls
Those dear souls
In the town of 3,500
Too much
"Connection"
So later
You can find me in NYC
And when I'm off
I'll be on the beach,
By the lighthouse
Watching people
By myself
Surrounded by 8.4 million souls
Alone

#nyc #smalltown

E Jun 2021

trånsphøbïå

my body is a topic that trails the mouths of a family at dinner
it is the trail of saliva that leaves shortly after breaking a heated kiss
always leaving a bitter taste

but when did you taste me?
when did I crawl into your mouth full of cavities?

existing as I am cements chains in people's root canals
a topic for discussion
my life to debate
trans people being the forefront
it is so inconvenient and sinful
and yet its the flavor on their seething lips

kissing one another trailing more saliva
knowingly trading hate with ones mind and lips
integrating more citizens and normalizing their behavior

transphobia is the topic for discussion

Previously unreleased from February of 2021.

#transgender #transphobia #ftm #lgbt #poetry #is #free #therapy #queer #gnc

E Jun 2021

Shape-Shifting

pieces of my puzzle are aligning
trauma and enlightenment go well together
it seems as though once you've hit rock bottom
the very top feels like heaven

a walking contradiction
how do you go from wanting to die
to living your life with authenticity

pieces fitting in shapes never seen before
pieces shifting sizes finishing the next assignment

a life on hold
holds very little to me

finishing my next task is today
but what is for tomorrow?
craving more isn't selfish
it's fulfilling
questions make me contemplative
unable to sleep at night
thoughts running for more
the adrenaline keeping me alive

pieces of my puzzle can break apart
pieces deceive me and don't actually fit
it is a lesson to look more closely

a piece has appeared
it's unclear where it goes
where it starts
where it ends
it will belong in due time

hello, it has been a long while since I published anything publicly. I've made one or two works this whole year in private but not a whole lot. poetry is relieving for me when I fall into depressive states not so much when I'm stable. But I am starting a new chapter in my life.

#ftm #genderqueer #college #university #lgbt

E Jan 2021

why bear children to make them bear darkness.

little me, why so sorrow?
what makes you disconnect?

seeing your body in pictures
sent shivers down your neck
the rhythmic beating
pounding as an alarm
body restless
when will you get rest then?

little me, you waited quite a while
family's opinions turned vile
it didn't matter much
you never connected
only as much as
a charger is to phone

escapism buried her
when he could be online
reversing roles and affirming yourself
only gained so much self help
a tool to be unlocked

little me, you had blocks in front of you
you played with them as trial
until they weren't meanwhile
so what did it mean to you?
what did you learn?
how did you grow?
what did you learn?

little me, you're too young to understand
one day you'll find who I am
we've always been together
tight knit and forever
don't lose the game of cards
unless you want your graveyard

Saw a picture of myself from about 6 or 7 years ago and felt inclined to write a message to myself then. If I met a younger version of myself, I wouldn't have told them everything that's happened so far. I would've just asked them why they do the things they do, and to think critically. having exposure to internet was great, but it did rot my mind.

#queer #ftm #trans #genderqueer #lgbt #lgbtq #latenight