What happens when one person in the relationship stops trying?
What happens when we becomes me,
When the slogan “there's no I in team” becomes invalid, because there's​ an I single?
What happens when you give up but I die trying.
To fight for this relationship so that this boat doesn't sink.
When I fight for the years and the memories, but you turn your back and you no longer care…
What happens when I keep pursuing something that is dead? Going after your lifeless corpse trying to breathe air back in. Trying to use to the ventilator to bring back the dead… one shock, two shock and three strikes I'm out… the ballgame is over and I have lost.
All I get to see now is your back turned to me as you walk away and soon your body becomes the size of an ant and you disappear never to be seen again. All that I am left with is the memories and the broken heart which will forever be locked up until someone else tries to come and break down this wall… but they too will soon find out that my wall is made of metal and is unbreakable and can't be scarred. It's chained and locked and the key is thrown away.
They too will find my body deteriorated and bruised, cold and torn, black and blue. I'm now meek and weak and no longer want to to try. So they watch me slip away into smithereens. I see you being happy and free while I am now chained and locked away.
How did the story get flipped and I'm on the outside looking in. Thinking this was forever while you spelt temporary with all your words. They left your lips so smooth and sweet and made me feel special, just to realize this wasn't your first rodeo and I wasn't the first bull ride.
But trust I've learned my lesson and my mind you can't take over anymore. You had your fun and games but now it's time for me to be the master. I will pull and pull and pull on your strings and just like how I was once lifeless, you will feel that pain.
Feel the broken heart of thinking they loved you but realizing they only loved the thought of you and when something better comes along they follow behind like an obedient dog… because honestly that's what you are.
A dog… and I'm the lion.
Your in my cage now… let's see how long you last.

Palms sweating, heart palpitating, emotions rushing.
She telling me things that I don't want to hear.
Me listening to lies, knowing how conniving she can be at times.
She doesn't want me happy, I'm positive of this.
As long as I'm uncomfortable in a room full of people, she has won.
She is winning.
I'm losing this battle, a battle so many of us face.
A battle with someone we know oh to well.
A battle that no one from the outside, looking in knows we're experiencing. A battle that seems like a losing fight…
A long, tremendous, life draining battle.
A battle with our demons inside.
Our mental health.
Anxiety I'm talking to you.
Depression don't think I forgot about you either.
Some days are harder than others.
Trust me I get it.
But I promise it gets better, and this battle we will soon win.
Just keep persevering and don't let them win.
I think it's time we won.
I think it's time I won.
I'm winning.

Stop telling me what to do, how to speak, how to feel.
I'm not listening to you anymore.
You don't control me
I am reclaiming my body, my life
I am reclaiming me
For many years you had me restrained.
I listened to every word that left your Lips
Like the wind blowing through the trees
I listened
And I felt, and I heard….
And I hurt.
You don't control me.
I am reclaiming my body, my life
I am reclaiming me
And no matter how many times you afflict pain on me,
Leaving me bruised and scarred
I will not listen.
My ears are clogged up to your voice
And I will not listen.
My feelings you cannot manipulate
And I will not listen
This mind control you once had over me is pulverized
And I will not listen
You still try to speak, demanding attention with every word that leaves your pitiful mouth
Like you are the teacher and I am the student
But is it not time for the student to become the teacher
I will annihilate you, extinguish you, nuke and shatter you
Until you are the one begging for my forgiveness
Until you are the one deal dealing with the pain I dealt with for far too long
Until you are the one that everyone abhors.
You see…
I've been dealing with you since the 5th grade.
You are the pesky mosquito in my ear that I cannot assassinate.
You are always there
And I can't eradicate you
You don't control me
I am reclaiming my body, my life
I am reclaiming me.
Depression, anxiety I am terminating your hold over me
This relationship is deceased.
Your words are mute in my ear
And I cannot listen.