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We were a perfect match
maybe that's why we burnt out.
Part two to the previous post.
you're putting this love in danger
by treating me like a stranger
You said you're dead inside
but you make me feel alive.

You said you can no longer feel
but what if i feel for you?

You made me feel alive
in a time where i felt dead inside.
Half of the world I’ve built is in ruins.
My sanctuary is damaged past repair.
How can such vibrant feelings,
Just disappear into thin air?
There is not a single light as I fall,
Spiraling into despair.
We went opposite directions.
My heart didn’t come with me.
The pain,
alone with the memories of you,
have both faded away to a distant blur.
humans are like pigeons.
hold too tight; they'll hate you for keeping them caged.
give them too much freedom; they'll forget about you
The wound, the long-term result of our broken love
Had almost stopped hurting
Had almost faded to a dull ache.
But with those words,
It flared up again.
Your melody lured me in,
i lost myself in the bittersweet euphony.
But when i got close enough to hear the words,
they were like nothing the tune promised.
Full of anger and wrath,
you trapped me in your chorus.
i cannot bring myself to hate you,
   not even when you're the reason i feel blue.
i should bring myself to hate you,
   but with each glance at you, my love only grew.
i must bring myself to hate you,
   at least that much, i knew.

yet every time we talk,
   my heart would flutter and dance.
yet every time we text,
   i savor it like it's my last chance.
yet every time you cross my mind,
   a smile plays across my face, ever the romance.
​i loved you
your humor
your quirks
your intricate works.
you said you loved me
my scars
my devil wings​
​everything.
​only after you left
did i realize
that your eyes
only ever saw my flaws.
only when i looked
at my cracked, scarred heart
did i know that nevertheless
i'd have loved you from the start.
knowing all the pain
you'd put me through
i'd hand you my heart willingly
all the same.
I thought the pain would end when you left.
Instead, it intensified.
The moment you confessed,
I wish you had just lied.
It’s not the world, the one that I’m standing on, that’s crumbling.
It’s the one that is keeping me standing that’s gone.
We were a perfect match,
But sadly matches burn.
you told me you were toxic
and i still refuse to believe.
you told me you'd break my heart
right from the start.
thousands of warnings
told me i'd be mourning.
but i held on stubbornly
refusing to move on.
​so i guess it's my fault
that my shattered heart is now
locked up in a dark, lonely vault. ​
to the stranger
who became my love
and then a stranger
once more
When your fire has dimmed, someone will come along and be the energy that saves you. The energy that keeps you burning. The energy that keeps you alive.

You were the coal, I was the fire.
You came when the situation was most dire.
I was burnt out, all that was left was glowing embers,
You lent me your happiness, and made me remember.
I fed off your love,
It’s not something I’m proud of.
I needed no oxygen, for you were my air,
Little did I know, that was the beginning of an nightmare.
My love for you only grew and grew,
I forgot what it was like to be blue.
To me, you were the kindest,
And you allowed me to shine my brightest.
But then I became greedy,
You didn’t like people who were needy.
Slowly you extracted yourself from me,
I guess you were right to flee.
For I was a wildfire,
And my demands became higher.
After months of starvation,
You did not answer my pleas for salvation.
My own bitter tears put out my flames,
My sorrow became my chains.
Weaker and weaker I started to feel,
What if I would never heal?
Once again I became ember and ash,
I started to act rash.
Crying and crying,
The constant stream of tears was terrifying.
Crying and crying,
I am no longer flying.
Crying and crying,
My fire is dying.
I put myself out bit by bit,
I had no more reason to stay lit.
Although I think you know,
That you leaving me was the final blow.
i didn't want to finish writing this, because if i did, then it would truly symbolize the end of us. And i don't want to, because i'm still clinging onto the hope that none of this is real.

perhaps one day i'll believe otherwise.
disappointment.
cold, cruel, crushing disappointment
crashes over me like a wave,
threatening to drown me,
with it's choking embrace.

this is what happens,
i tell myself—
this is what happens when you let someone in,
this is what happens when you feel too much,
this is what happens when you let your guard down.

i thought we might've had something,
small and fleeting as it may be,
a piece of driftwood,
something i could cling on,
but i was wrong.

it finally dawned on me,
on a cold winter's day,
when the sun peeked out behind the clouds,
and my world stayed dark in every way;
you could not be my salvation.

how can it be possible,
for you —or anyone— for that matter,
to love me —bruised and battered— a girl who
cannot find anything to love about herself?
how can you find a reason to accept me...

when i cannot even accept myself?
my phone lights up,
a smile brightens up my face.
scurrying to check the notification,
hoping to see your username.

but it's not you—
it's somebody else.

i shut off my phone,
the screen turns black.
and a little bit of my heart,
darkens and crumbles along with that.
i threw a knife at ,my window instead of my heart
it was selfish really, to break something else
so that i don't fall apart.
The moment she stopped faking smiles,
When she realized that she wasn't "alright",
Was when the sun rose in the morning,
And her world stayed as dark as night.
do you love me,
or do you not?
it all boils down
to a simple thought.

the light conversation we exchange,
is this something you do normally, day to day?
or is this something special,
do you have something that you're aching to say?

my heart speeds up
with every stolen glance at you.
my only question now is:
do you feel the way i do?

if i admitted my feelings for you,
and i get let down— would i be able to cope?
but my heart is bursting; i look you in the eye,

and i dare allow myself to hope.
​i look away
with tear-stained eyes,
shut off my phone
but still remains your lies.​
​and who am i
but a broken girl alone,
staring in the mirror
only skin and bone,
miles away from home
miles away from "home"
i never needed to be treated like royalty,
all i asked of you
was a little
loyalty.
is loyalty
truly
rarer than
royalty?
I have risen above the worst
not to spite you,
but despite you.
okay, maybe to spite you too
Now that you're gone
it feels like a weight has been
lifted off my chest.

But now that the weight is gone,
corrosive emptiness replaces it
acid settles into the barren patch of my heart.

In hindsight, if i were given the option
of weight or emptiness,
I would choose weight.
But it's too late.
You
Once upon a time
your name was the first thing that
i'd think of
when i needed to smile
it'll dutifully bring color to my cheeks

Now, your name is still the
first thing that i'd think of
but only when i needed to sober up
it'll chase the joy away without fail

What frightens me the most
is that what if this is a modern fairytale
no more "happy endings"
no "wind in our sails".

— The End —