today,
i wore it again
and people complimented me
they say red is my color
and it suits me.

today,
it's too thick and dark
did i overapply
no, it's the right amount
just enough
to make them think
i'm fine.

today,
i look at myself
in the mirror,
and they're right
red shines on me,
so i applied
another layer,
and another
until my lips felt too thick,
but my eyes still see
the scars beneath it.

they told me as a child not to draw on myself.

now i paint flowers where they grabbed my hands to make sure i wouldn't wander off. and rosebuds by the corners of my eyes when they told me not to cry. shooting stars stretching from my ankles to my thighs to remind myself to move and travel. i weave words of wisdom into my hair to mimic the way the rivers cut the mountains year after year- persistent. and carve all the names of people i have loved throughout the years onto my arms.

they told me as a child not to draw on myself. now i tell my children to fill the world with their art.

- your body is your first canvas

It's 11:11
and for the first time
after a very long time
I'm wishing for myself
and not for you

She was like music,
and I longed to dance.

Her heart was the beat,
and I begged for the chance.

Her words were the vocals,
and I was put in a trance.

Her smile was the melody,
and I fell in love at first glance.

There are a lot of things I regret.
The most I regret is
Wishing that he was dead.
Rather than living
To hurt me
Crushing my heart.
I never wanted
Anything bad
even for my worst enemies.
But he drove me to the point
Where I wished for his death.

I wonder
Who is actually
The monster here.