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Depersonalization as described,
Is the idea that you,
Become more than deprived of you
Imagine a window,
And you're looking outside,
Only you see your life,
Played through your dreary eyes
To completely illustrate however,
Let's step aside,
Now back in time
To when you were lost,
Looking around,
And crying for mom.
But now you're again that child,
Again looking around,
Crying, searching
Only you know mom's not around,
And no one's coming.
It's you.
Only you.
Searching for something.
Even you don't know.
Make this go away
I had a visitor,
A victim of the bludgeoning's of love
He talked of books,
wearing a Tolstoian mask
Something out of fiction,
like that which you fear
We talked,
and with each remark,
I saw a darkness slip out
Much to my shock,
it accompanied his shadow
Like his mind wasn't his own,
and his words were just gone,
replaced with those out of old romance novels
There was a sickness in him,
a void where his heart should have been
His skin turned pale,
his face dry
And all that which made him human,
was now an artifact of his existence
for when he was done,
he was no longer
In his place I saw thorns,
that were once love, lust and anger
Each ingredient that made him human,
now mocked him and his soulful thunder,
There was a visitor,
A victim of love,
A battle he had lost
Grown too frail and old,
In the prime of his life,
struck down from his stride
I buried him today,
but the grave's still open
I pray he returns
I pray he still knows love,
Sincerely,
Your caring friend Pablo
We fight a terrible battle, for we think science can explain this thing called love. It sure can and it sure has as hell can't. But I know not many that had loved as much as you had, and too see it fail, my friend I can only offer my sympathies, for love is a thing I do not know but I know it is the only thing you knew. Warm regards, and hope for recovery is all I can offer, get well soon, my friend Afatsum
My floating state of mind
As skipping stones and
Making notes

Wandering about,
Keeping this boat afloat

I wish to have company,
For I have been stranded for far too long

Accompany me please,
Let's light this ocean of dust

Reminiscing of waves that were,
The tides of love that made us burn

For together we danced
In a state of trance

Under this Ash filled sky,
And we merged together,
Our love into amber.

You mustn't wander too far
You're the only thing keeping this boat together

For my heavy heart, it seems
Will only sink it deeper

But you will leave if you may,
These dreams of mine can only pray

Of an ending,
That leaves this heart depending,
On more.
Hello wanderer
I came today
And saw that you left

For the first time in a long time
Did i feel alone

So you, came
Encircling the sky

With an unbroken spirit
Unlynched, unaffected and free

Tell me friend, how do you do?
How can I be free?

Do you have the keys?
Do you know the keymaker?

I've tried finding one
But these chains are too heavy

Their locks too complex
Too complicated, too human

And the prices they proposed
I'm afraid I can't afford

My chains are slowly
Becoming one

Slowly combining,
Slowly seeping into my skin

And now I've become too heavy too fly
Gravity's gotten stronger

Tell me friend, how do you do?
How do you see, with those eagle eyes of yours?

The sky's too dark
And these glasses aren't coming off

The doctor suggested a lighter,
And so I took

I lit, and I smoke
The price of seeing is but a substitute

And the last time I saw,
It was all so much brighter

**** I start wearing these lenses
And now they're not coming off

They've left things darker

The price of flying,
Has all but left me broke

It's left me weighted,
Left my eyes weakened,
Left my heart darker
If I could just be free
So as I sat,
With her besides me
About 2 feet apart
Watching all the others work
I thought of what I wanted to say
And felt cold sweats emerging
It's been too long since I last
Felt this way
Too long since I had to do this
My head turned towards her
But slowly shifted
Heavily breathing
I turned my head again
A little less this time
And looked in the distant,
Hoping maybe she'd talk
5 minutes of this and I had enough
So I gathered some courage
And just blurt out what came to mind
Smirking, she replied back
And as I kept making things up
I realised
I'm not the shyest person in the room
And that's in itself
A rather confronting
Somewhat confusing of a feeling
And as the extent of what I could think
Crossed my lips
There was silence
And we both just sat
Confused to say the least
Wondering if maybe
She just didn't want to talk
When you have to
Hype yourself up before you speak
Repeat and rehearse your conversation
You're never really
In a place to lead conversation
And you'd think
You'd hope
Other's would take this job
But now I find myself stuck
The point,
Ah yes,
The point being
There is none
Thing's just get wierd
Wierd enough
That sometimes
You struggle to figure out
What really happened
2 hours of this
2 hours of silence from her lips
And once we our work was done
She left
Well,
Alright
Yes, I've written a **** one. But just needed to get this thought out
We, as humans,
Tend to retract.
Our reflections,
Tend to change.
And the claims we make,
Are no less stable,
Not much longer to stay
Than specks of dust,
Waiting to be wiped away
We're all hypocrites,
In one way or another.
Like the man who preaches religion,
And then is revealed to be an adulterer,
Like the girl who claims to not care,
And then jumps at those who conflict her,
Like the boy who wants to be alone,
But is secretly depressed,
needing,
Wanting someone.
Like the man who believes in individual opinions,
But blasts those he finds wrong,
Like confident dude, who leads situations,
Only to be putting up an act.
We're all liars, we're all hypocrites,
In one small way,
Or one major aspect.
People know us,
As much as we allow them to.
They know not,
What we want, need or persue
And sometimes,
It's better to not believe what they claim,
They're probably lying anyway
Upon finding certain things of people, we may find ourselves to be angered, sometimes intimidated by the image people provide us. Just know, it's probably a farce, there will always be something to surprise you and if you live that way, you'll find them to be abit more bearable
Frustration, rather circumstancial
too
Leads me to believe,
I'm no more than a fluke.
How I've come this far,
Only to be,
No more,
Than ordinary.
I found myself,
Or rather thought,
I'd find someone,
And move on.
A new chapter of life
To look forward to,
But that's it.
That's all I've thought.
Nothing more,
Nothing less.
Weirdly enough,
When you draw up hopes
Too high for your own good.
Life has a subtle way to,
Throw up on it all,
And that is in itself,
What grounds you down,
Never fear,
Never mourn,
You'll learn,
Might even yearn,
To do things differently,
Think , differently,
And move on.
Things I think, I try not to think about, I wonder i can change
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