Sanny 3d
Can you read me enough to know?
I guess not.

I've worked too ******* this mask to let you..

This mask of strenght.

To you I'm strong, a role model even..

Truth is, I'm weak.
Behind closed doors I'm broken, too broken for life.

I need someone to save me.

Yet no one knows..

Still I hope,
for someone to see the real me.
Sanny Oct 29
I've searched so long, for that phenomenon called Happiness.

So busy looking I didn't realize it was right under my nose.

Happiness is buying a stuffed dinosaur for your best friend's newborn.

It is getting to smell the scent of your favourite lip balm you thought you'd lost.

Happiness is knowing that you'll soon get a tight hug from the person you love.

Happiness is knowing that tonight you get to cuddle in your pajama after a hard workout.

Happiness is getting a text that makes you laugh so hard you cry.

Even burning your dinner so you have to start again.
Because you know you have more, that is happiness.

Happiness is singing and dancing along to corny songs thinking about the person who makes your heart flutter.

It's all about the little things, the things that make you tick.

That is the definition of happiness.

It took me so long to open my eyes, to see real happiness.

I'm glad I finally did.
Sanny Oct 28
Four months today. Since he became mine.

4 months of peeling each others layers.

Layers of love, layers of conflicts.

Some almost fell off, some were a challenge to even budge.

We fell apart, only to collide once again.

The hard collision brought the toughest layers with it.

And here we are.

4 months later.

Honest, bare and exposed.

Closer than ever before.

No matter how hard our fears tried to stop us,

we can't fight destiny.
Sanny Oct 23
There's something about the honesty that shows when there's no way back.

When you scream your heart out for the last time.

Knowing that it doesn't matter anymore, you just go for it.

The need to get it all out.

Hoping that it'll change everything..
yet knowing that it won't.

Crying, knowing we've lost each other, we finally listened.

A lifetime's worth of silence seperating us.

And then it all changed.

It was like the final piece of the puzzle showed on the table.

We both realized what it meant, what it'd take to put it in place.

With shaky hands we made our choice.

A perfect puzzle completed.
Sanny Oct 18
How do I ignore the calls from death?
It wants me there.

On the other side of life.

I see my own tears in the mirror.

I feel life leaving my body.

I don't want to be here anymore.

This life isn't for me.

I've fought long enough.
I've always known this is the way I'll go..

Do I finally have the courage?

To leave this all behind, to watch my loved ones from the other side?

If not not, when?
This life isn't for me..

I'm sorry.
Sanny Oct 18
Your lips on my forehead, I close my eyes.

I can feel you smile while kissing me.

Your beard is tickling my skin like always.

Your hands search for mine.

I feel myself relaxing, like a drug is kicking in.

The past days fears and insecurities, gone.

No words needed.

We are meant to be, it's clear for the world to see.

No language could express the connection we have.

No matter how much we try to deny it,
it's obvious.

How much we love each other.
Sanny Oct 8
I'm totally unprepared for what's to come..

"It's best for us to break up".

A decision neither of us could stand for.

The love is obvious while hearing each other cry in silence for hours.

"We'll talk face to face tomorrow".

Words that can make a day feel like eternity.

I dread, yet long to see him.

The traces of tears from yesterday still shows on my face.

Will tomorrow make them even more visible?

I can't predict the outcome, at all.

Not knowing is draining..

Not knowing if he'll hold me in his arms ever again..

Not knowing if I'll feel his lips against mine again..

Not knowing if he'll ever be my partner again..

Not knowing if he ever was?

I guess my destiny will point me in the right direction.

While standing on tomorrow's crossroads.
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