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Sanjana Dec 2019
If life has taught me anything
It is to wander

It is better to leave than be left
So it's better to be the goner

Nothing is permanent
And nothing will stay

Sure there are limits
And you'll have to go away

But you'll protect yourself first
And maybe you won't get hurt along the way

So sometimes you'll have to break
And have to be the traitor

But if that's what it takes to survive
"Just so we're clear, I'm a solo player"
Quote: Kirito from SAO I
Sanjana Dec 2019
This isn't something you can fake
You can't just pretend
It isn't something you use to get attention

Depression isn't cool
****.
Sanjana Nov 2019
Somedays I want to let myself

fade and drift away

leaving no trace

Somedays I want to just give up

and let myself relax

and give myself a break

Somedays I want to fall

into oblivion

and nothingness

just to fell something

Somedays I want to disappear

But

There's someone who tells me

Please don't

Someone who tells me

I need those traces

Someone who tells me

Let me help you relax

Someone who tells me

I'll catch you

and that he'll make me feel

something

Someone who tells me  

that he needs me

and that he'll miss me

So Please Don't

And I let myself listen

So "I won't

don't worry"

Addendum:

To that someone

thank you.
Sanjana Nov 2019
The three words that mean the world to someone

The most difficult three words you'll ever have to say
you might just stutter or whisper them

The ones you have to hype yourself up to say
be prepared cause there's no going back

The ones that make you nervous and
make you want to curl up into a ball

The three words that you probably will regret
cuz I'm fine

I tell myself I really don't need it
but I let myself slip

i

need

help
Sanjana Nov 2019
She was on the ground, cradling her lover’s head in her arms, slowly rocking back and forth. At this point she had stopped calling for him, begging him to wake up and that if this was a joke, it wasn’t at all funny. Yet it seemed kinda funny because even though her life wasn’t the one that was lost, she felt like it was. It was kind of like a betrayal in some ways, he had given up on life and on her, it had seemed and yet there she stayed holding him as her clothes soaking with his blood. He had abandoned her, leaving her for his own sanity, not at all considering hers. At this point, the tears had stopped, and she couldn’t quite pick what to feel whether it was supposed to be emptiness, anger, sorrow, no there were much too many options. She felt as though she should be grieving, but she didn’t know what for, the loss of his life, or her own. Something interrupted her thoughts, a shiny piece of metal that had caught her eye, and she dropped his body to the ground as she reached for it. Blood pooled all around her, as she fiddled with it in her hands. A gun. Oh, she gave up -- no relinquished-- the idea of grieving at all, in fact, he had wronged her. He had wronged her in such a way, she couldn’t bare it. Slowly she brought the revolver to her head. Yes. He had wronged her. And now she shall wrong him.

It was never something she had intended to do.
But you know what they say, eye for an eye.
Sanjana Nov 2019
i don't know if this is an oxymoron or some **** like that

but

im too tired to fall asleep
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