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Damien Feb 3
For weeks, all I wanted was to paint.
It felt like the solution
to nothing in particular,
to particularly everything.
The easel collects dust in the corner of my room now.
An empty canvas rests upon it, mocking me
for thinking I had an easy way out.
Jan 22 · 87
integrationals
Damien Jan 22
And there you’ll learn
you are either them
or you

solving for X
tearing down any defense
any pretense

where X = right
and right = real
and real = them

because you are a number
that doesn’t exist
a square root of negative nine

and to you
dividing by zero should have made
infinity

but there you’ll learn
that you can’t divide
by zero

and the square root
of negative nine
can never be X

to them, to you, you’ll forever be
not a solution
but an error
Damien Jan 21
When I sit down in front of the mirror,
deal a hand,
(once for me, once for me)
I find my opponent’s face to be unreadable.
And I win,
(I do every time we play)
And I throw my cards down in front of me
taking back the chips I’d raised.
Again, I face the loser
surprised by the bitterness on their face
(though I really should expect it by now)
And this time I wonder:
is it worth winning
if you always lose?
Damien Jan 21
Beware of the self-serving friend
who uses as means to an end
though she may be blue
or complex as you
she isn’t your duty to mend.
Dec 2020 · 179
smol
Damien Dec 2020
there once was a fun beanie gal,
who made for a pretty great pal.
if you call her short,
she'll have to resort
to cruelty, which she shall.
Dec 2020 · 567
sweet
Damien Dec 2020
in the back sat a guy with long hair,
and if you look at him he'd glare.
but if you sit down,
and upend his frown,
you'll find he's not much of a scare.
Sep 2020 · 770
behind
Damien Sep 2020
Faster, faster,
everyone’s already done.
Quicker, quicker,
seems you’re the only one.
Think, think,
I don’t know what that makes.
Write, write,
This was a huge mistake.
Sep 2020 · 273
fragile
Damien Sep 2020
Children are carefully put-together structures built of popsicle sticks
taken from the mouths of people they admire
and one single broken word
can send it all crashing down
Damien Aug 2020
pulls them in like little boys and girls
lost in the woods, in the safe embrace
Of a candy cottage
Jul 2020 · 299
fake interactions
Damien Jul 2020
there she went,
back into her mind
the noiseless depths of anticipation.
her reactions?
controlled.
Jun 2020 · 305
you and me and the rain
Damien Jun 2020
What if it rained indoors?
Whenever we heard distant thunder
or the weather report said rain
then we would pick up all our things,
go outside and sit and wait
for the drops to stop falling from the ceiling.

Would we sleep in houses, still?
If the roof was like a cloud
and woke us up at 3 am
instead of a pattering at the window,
a pattering on our face?

We could make buildings just for this,
and when it started pouring
we would form lines, hoping to get inside
to take a shower in the rain
singing songs and goofing off.

What if it rained indoors?
Whenever we felt a tiny drop
we would build a comfy pillow fort
with blankets, snacks and giggles
and cuddle till the morning.
Jun 2020 · 113
how to tie a shoelace
Damien Jun 2020
first, take the two strings and twine them together.
next, pull them apart so that they’re connected at the bottom.
last, make the two strings do an intricate
dance, until one of them is inextricably trapped in a loop that can no longer be fixed by tugging at it and instead you have to find the end and pull hard so that you can leave the situation, even though at that point you still have to untangle yourself from the original twining which is often harder than the initial tug.

Now your shoelaces are tied.
shoelaces, the perfect metaphor for toxic relationships.
Jun 2020 · 774
friendly outing
Damien Jun 2020
We went on a date,
except you didn’t know it was a date,
so you missed me staring at the back of your head,
as you ran through the fountain.

We went on a date,
but you didn’t know,
so you missed the feeling of desperately wanting to kiss
you on the lips as we dried in the sun.

We went on a date,
you didn’t know,
so you missed out on all the funny feelings that I
wouldn’t give away for anything.

We went on a date,
and now I'm too attached,
so you'll never know it was a date
because I don't want to lose you.
I went on a 'date' recently... but I didn't tell her it was a date. So now we're friends.
Jun 2020 · 211
railroading
Damien Jun 2020
The moment it all goes off the rails,
I remind myself:
the rails don’t exist.
And once I actually believe it,
the rails disappear.
Jun 2020 · 189
puzzling
Damien Jun 2020
The gleam in their eyes
-don’t miss it! It’s gone before you know it-
when they realize that the whole time
they were staring right at the solution
and the joy that comes
from knowing the answer
makes me want to refute them,
so I can amaze them again.
Jun 2020 · 152
before the session
Damien Jun 2020
Sometimes it’s stressful
when I’m unprepared
and nervous, because
I fear they might think
I’m not doing my job.
But when I feel good
having put in work
and seeing it all
pay off, I feel
amazed at
the fear
that no
longer
taunts
me
Jun 2020 · 138
insomniac
Damien Jun 2020
Being tired isn’t the worst part by far
the worst part is staying awake
when all you want to do is let your consciousness fade
when all you want is to stop the suffering

and the suffering comes from the fear of the pain
no, not even the fear of the pain
the suffering comes from the mind-gripping fear
that you can’t stop it
that there’s absolutely nothing you can do
and if you knew that there was no escape
maybe it would be easier
but freedom comes
and there’s no making it come quicker.
Jun 2020 · 89
refute
Damien Jun 2020
yes, the time does pass
often quicker than preferred,
and no, it won’t return.
but mayhap we can pretend
that every now and then
something happens that was worth it all along.
and though it passes by,
always lost to mistress time,
we can hope moments such as these
will make the future bright again.
I wrote this poem as a response to a pessimistic poem a friend of mine wrote.
Mar 2020 · 101
A Fall Story
Damien Mar 2020
The leaf sways back and forth
holding on with all its might
staying on until the last
and yet, with fall it loses.

The warm summer breeze slowly turns to something colder, darker.
And all the leaves turn brown, lest they **** the tree.
But we stay warm, wearing things
that we may not grow ourselves.

As days get shorter,
winds blow colder,
scarves are worn,
the trees I loved so dearly in the spring,
stopped waving at me.

So long we wait, hoping
for the first rays of sun
that tell us spring is almost here.
But when it comes, we all forget
why we were waiting.
I wrote this a long time ago... like 3 years back? Anyways, I really liked it back then. I made some changes on things I wasn't that big on, and also removed a part altogether.
Mar 2020 · 493
Hustle in the snow
Damien Mar 2020
Oh I’ve climbed the tallest mountain
I took the steps so slow
And at the top I looked around
At people down below.
The hustle and the bustle
The rushing in the snow
And knowing I was part of it
It kind of made me glow.
Mar 2020 · 180
Debate
Damien Mar 2020
The words in their eyes
showing they know what to say
so I counter it.
Mar 2020 · 108
Breathe
Damien Mar 2020
the ants are crawling
again
I feel them but I can't
see
them and I can't
feel
them and I know they're
there
but they aren't
there
and I can't
breathe

— The End —