Every job I done had
I felt i was cursed with
They be snatching my soul
I need reimbursment

Gotta use that for my purpose
I feel like i did it on purpose
Slacked off on my dreams
So it could potentially hurt me

Sometimes I feel
Like im really unworthy
Tried everything in my power
Nothing seems to be working

I'm hurting
I did it to myself though
Lost all of my patience
Cause when i tried it all came slow

And I heard it usually does
To those of us who try to stay true
Its hard to work this job
And still try to subdue

All my demons and insecurities
That constantly try to attack me
Got everything I could ask for
But still something is lacking

The money is good
In my love life im happy
being true to myself
Even keep my hair a lil *****

But deep down in my heart
Seeping into my soul
There's a part of me
That I still got on doze

Im froze in time
Waiting on myself to make it happen
Put in my two week notice
Gather my things and get to packing

I'm lacking the fire
To start my next project
I don't what to do now
What steps do I take next ?

I just need to do it
Whatever this thing is
Trying to be an inspiration
And look out for the kids

Cause I don't see too many
And for that I'm starting to frown
I don't have much more time to waste
I guess I'll start this thing now

Cause if I don't
It'll be another soul wasted
That didn't step up to the plate
And the look out for the babies

Leave me alone
I dont wanna do it
Why would i go back
To something that's ruined

Its broken
Its Means me no good
Why wont you just leave things
The way that you should

Last time i was down
Last time I was out
You took my heart
And threw it about

Left me alone
Let me cry tears
I had my hopes up
I did for years

Had to tell myself
That you'd come around
Discover the love
That I've already found

Did it to myself
You told me no
I Woulnt accept it
Didn't think it was so

Told you id leave
You said go
That was the last time
I had done it before

I let you come back
Gave you one last chance
Prove me wrong
Show me you a man

You dropped the ball
Didnt seem to care
Took me as a game
I guess i picked dare

I finally left
Found me another
True as can be
Really my lover

Feelings are mutual
No games to play
No recess break
We stay in all day

Now that you see
That i meant what I said
You running back
On your last leg

I can't allow it
Cant be no fool
You was happy with how we were
Now I am too

I need to talk to you
Yeah it's been a minute
I've been distracted by life
I haven't payed you much attention

To be honest. I ignore you
When I'm making some decisions
Because I can't seem to let go
To my bad habits I become submissive

I already figured it out
You know what's best
Give me signals and signs
That's why I always suffer on what comes next

But let's be real
You make bad decisions too
Emotions running you
Telling you when to move

Your heart is big
Which I have always admired
But it causes you to stay
Where love has already expired

It causes you to give
When there is nothing left
Causes you to be someone else
Instead of be yourself

Its causes you to be dumb
A little bit naive
Just because you opened your legs
Don't mean that he won't leave

Just because you have good intentions
It don't mean that they do
You have to use your mind
Don't let them play you

Stand your ground
Don't be scared of confrontation
They may of had the right one before
But let them know with you they've mistaken

I know I have my faults too
I know I dont have to explain
Let's just work as a team
And beat them at their own game

Lets stand strong together
No matter what they throw
Even if we fall down
That's an opportunity to grow

That's an opportunity to show
That during any situation we'll be fine
Its wonderful to have a good heart
But even better to have a strong mind

Sometimes seeing is believing

I like to hold you
I like to kiss you
I like to touch you

To remind myself that this is real
That you are real
That we are real

This is the type of thing you dream about
The thing you truly fantasize about
The thing you wait a lifetime for but never comes

You are my best friend
The one I tell my secrets to
The one I share my heart with

So stay close to me
Let me touch you
Feel you
Kiss you

So I know that my dreams are actually coming true

I think i know you from somewhere
Farther than what my brain can remember
Haven't been knowing you for too long
But something about you feels so familiar

Were we friends before ?
Way back When I was younger
Your presence alone I recognize
Which brought me to a state of wonder

I can't help but ponder
At every angle of your existence
I usually can keep my composure
Right now my thoughts are way too conflicted

I want to throw off all my armor
Everything I used for resistance
Purposely leave my blueprints on the table
And let you infiltrate every entrance

Money can't buy this feeling
Your richness is way too expensive
I want you to expose it all
Going deeper and more extensive

Lets show our vulnerability
Explore every fossil of our beings
They can't comprehend our chemistry
It goes way beyond believing

Its go ways beyond perceiving
You would have to be us to understand
Intertwined at the soul
Like we share some kind of gland

Someone to care
Someone to hold me
Don't play about it
I want you to know me

I want you to be here
When I'm feeling too lonely
Let me know now
Are you real or just a phony ?

If you need it
You can cry to me
I want you to see
What the eyes can't see

Even meeting you
Was a surprise to me
I'm the one you been waiting on
The others were just dusguised as me

I just need you to be yourself
I was there when there was no one else
I hope you can understand my dillema
Sometimes I just don't want to be by myself

Nobody else gets it
You're the only one
When my soul calls out
You're the one to come

I cut off part of my heart
Just to give you some
If you ever met somebody real
You know where im coming from

Im short really short
The smallest of them all
I remember being higher
The tallest of the tall

I was too shy at first
To even be set up for the fall
Until they came along
And gave me somebody to call

Every single heartbreak
Cuts off a few inches
Wasnt enough left for a full repair
All they could do was stitch me

Hurt too familiar
It became so persistent
Hoping that you would realize your wrong
And start to miss me

You're not around nomore
So now i hurt from a distance
You don't love me today
I wish you would be more consistent

I hate I took all the drugs
Of your hugs and your kisses
Cause now I'm all messed up
Have to get a doctor to fix me

So That's enough for me
I don't want nomore please
Numb to all the pain now
So they cut me off at the knees

Body messed up
Heart turned to stone
It don't make it no better
That I can't walk on my own

Dang im unhappy, laying down in my bed
Dont wanna deal with all the thoughts rushing up in my head

Let me find something to do, to pass this little time
Thinking outside the box but scared to cross the line

Im so sick of repetition, aint nothing really to do
My appetite sparking up, i feel the voidness with food

Smoking aint really fun, its just something to do
We all idle right now so of course we thinking its cool

We ain't got nothing to prove, but we try to anyway
Rather try to fit in than be ourselves any day

Aint got nothing in common so we make up something to say
We make fun of any and everybody who won't cooperate

We can't enjoy the time now cause we waiting on another day to come
Can't concentrate on where we going cause we keep looking back at where we come from

I know it's hard to forget because what made us was the slums
But we must keep moving forward and remember that them days in done

My life seems to be everywhere
Think im getting lost in a maze
Parts of my life don't seem real
A phase within a phase

Looking at the mirror
Staring myself in the face
Been wondering who I am for so long
And how did i get to place

Im stuck in a space
Trapped behind the walls
There's no rock bottom
I just continue to fall

A bottomless pit
Is what this feels like
Got a smile on my face
Knowing i don't feel right

Im blacking out and getting nauseous
Questioning everything I see
Wondering how we were all created
And how did he come to be

Its hard to keep focus
I been thinking bout this for weeks
Seeing things that I can't explain
Every time I go to sleep

I have no control sometimes
My flesh is too weak
I can't ask anybody questions
I know they don't have the answers I seek

When I speak
I sound more than insane
But I have to be right ?
For unlocking that part of my brain

My mind is not the same
I've realized that much
But I feel it within
The things that can not be touched

I know it can't be rushed
But im ready to see what's happening
Haven't talked to nobody lately
They suggest that im mad at them

Its not even close to that though
Im just trying to figure it all out
What's going on around me ?
What is it all about ?

Cause if i tell you
What i been going through
It won't just be me anymore
You'll think im crazy too

You know I don't believe in marriage
Well not in the tradition
I don't think it's a goal
Or one of life's missions

Or something that you do
When you feel your life has gone missing
Or when you got a lot of bills
That you need some assist with

I don't think its something you do
When your in a certain religion
Or some move that you make
To further your commitment

Why do I have to sign a paper
Just for us to go the distance
I want to be with you for life
I don't have to walk down an isle to admit it

I wont change my last name
Cause im not your property
You may not get it right now
But can you see it my way possibly ?

I shouldn't have to do the extra
For you to acknowledge me
Im sick of everybody around me
Telling me who I gotta be

My love is worth more than a ring
Or some pearly white dress
You can't set my love up in a church
Like its some kind of project

You can't tax my love
And make it one of your fees
My type of love is too strong
Itll make you get down on my BOTH knees

I shouldn't have to beg
I shouldn't have to plead
I know im worth it all
I have everything that you need

You mean I have to go through a court
Just to prove my love
And use the petty excuse
Of "you doing it in front of the one above"

You know that im yours
And i know that your mine
Im completely happy with you
I guess that'll show over time

Ill always love you
You should trust that
And if most people did
They wouldn't have to sign a contract

I wish back then there was something
that alerted me of all the danger
We had became best friends
And now we are known strangers

Really it ain't no anger
Just some junked up memories
Of how I treated you right
And you played me like the enemy

Had me thinking you was into me
Feeling me up with promises
But when the time came
I wondered where the promise went

I guess it was my fault
I gave you too much dominance
Told you you had the juice
And it gave you this boost of confidence

You was insecure at first
Then out of nowhere came arrogance
Started looking down on people
And acting like you was better than

Really it seemed better when
You was a lil lame
When the girls wasn't looking
And ain't nobody know yo name

Then when I came
And walked into the picture
All the girls wanted you
Cause they seen that I was wit you

And you went for it
Had me looking stupid
Thought you was my man
And I was ready to fight to prove it

Ready to go through whatever
Just so we could be
Fighting for a relationship
That you wasn't trying to keep

So really it was just me
Holding on to nothing
I threatened to leave
Somehow you knew I was bluffing

You laughed when i started cussing
Like it was all a joke
Ignoring my face being red
And my ears filing up with smoke

i knew it was no hope
I knew i would have to cope
With that hard growing pain
Worrying about what i would lose, not realizing what I would gain

You said that it would change
But it never got better
She did everything to get you
You did nothing to not let her

I was really fed up
With all yo player type stuff
Gave you all i had
You acted like it wasn't enough

When i was ready to leave
You tried to come closer
But you had yo chance
It was already over

Imagine
Use your imagination
You cant limit your thoughts
Your mind is the one creating

Im trying to live now
I don't have time for saving
Stood still for too long
I dont have time for wasting

Im moving around like crazy
Because I dont have time for patience
But i can't stand still no longer
When I'm trying to be one of earths greatest creations

The fire inside me is blazing
With a lot of ideas
The demons around me constantly mad
Because of the negative thoughts that i ****

Nothing is real
Everything is an illusion
I solved the equation
The only answer I got was seclusion

Gotta keep moving forward
I have no time for excuses
Listening to what's inside
My soul is the most soothing music

The inner me is the only thing
That clears up all the confusion
It does get hard sometimes
Because of the human body that it's fused with

I used to be scared
And think my ideas were foolish
My fear is no longer holding me back
I gotta go ahead and do this

Its a game out here
Im tryna make some money
But how can i do that
When they keep taking it from me

Keep talking to myself
Giving me some assurance
All these different taxes
Now they tripping off insurance

Felt like it was no hope
Like my happiness was ruined
Because the lowest paying job
Is being a positive influence

They want yo whole life
For that job you pursuing
Then it take 20 years
For you to really get into it

They got us all clueless
Unable to grow
Paying to learn stuff in school
That we already know

Working all these years
With nothing to show
Expecting us to survive
Knowing the pay way too low

Aint nowhere to go
When you dont know nobody
Working all these hours
Putting a toll on my body

Cant do what i love
Gotta find a different hobby
Its depressing as hell
Every night stocking grocery boxes

They throwing me instructions
Soon as i walk through the lobby
Im mad at myself for coming in
Really ready to hurt somebody

Working my **** off every night
But yet im still poor
Giving all i got to give
But yet they want more

I have one off day
But they never trip off they slack
Plus these bills collectors keep calling
Tryna get them off my back

All this stuff is really wack
I cant take it nomo
One day ima take off this uniform
And walk straight out that door

You got me
Feeling emotionally attached
Didn't even see this coming
Feeling emotionally attacked

Said I'd never love again
I was being dishonest
Can't think of nothing else
My mind I'm keeping you on it

Future. Past. Present
Thinking of you in every tense
See. Hear. Taste. Smell. Touch
Got me wanting you in every sense

How my love get this deep ?
It don't even make sense
We laid in bed all day
I can still smell your scent

When I see you walking
No, when I see you gliding
My heart warms up
My body temperature rises

My smile widens
Then I attempt to hide it
Got a lot to say
But my shyness got me on silent

It may just be the way
Ya lip curl up when you smiling
I like the way you do you
You got ya own style and

You pick on me like a best friend
Sometimes it make me blush
Lets eliminate time
A few hours just ain't enough

When you're away
I still feel you next to me
Connection run so deep
Got me thinking this destiny

I want what's best for me
And that's you
I made the first step
Anticipating your next move

Look at me
I want your attention
Trying to have a conversation
Is there something i forgot to mention ?

Look at me
and see me as one of you
Im on the outside
I want to fit in too

Look at me
I can be down
Be like the rest of yall
& not somebody that you clown

Party and get wasted
The whole time on my phone
Gossip about everybody else
But cant admit my own wrongs

Look at me
Im right over here
Changed my lifestyle
So you could see me more clear

Ill change my mind
Just so we can think the same
Ill let you get over
When i know you running game

Ill switch up my talk
So our vocabularies match
Talk the way you talk
When i get home ill go back

look at me
Because I feel all alone
No one to call
Or even text on my phone

Just look at me, anybody