I want to start off by saying that my stomach still flutters when I hear your name. I shutter at the thought of you and your smell makes my tongue salivate.

Fixated on your rib cage slowly rising up and down. Your breast like two perfectly plump peaches glistening from my tongue caressing them softly. Your stomach marked up with dark cherry red, a stream of crimson on your neck and thighs.

You flinch at my bites however lean in for more. Knowing it leads to me eating more. You know where I'm leading to, my lips presses against your soft skin. My tongue sliding in and tasting ecstasy and hunger. I like the wetness, your breathing, and the hot steamy madness running through my head.

slirpin steady spirits out of chopsticks
colored liver on your popstick
curly lyrics are your top picks
a steady serum that works to make your
heart kick
a heavy leader who knows how to make your day hit
sweaty and steering
your words uneven
slurring secrets dressed like sequence
a confetti sentence not meant to keep you dreaming

I dream of you in colors that don't exist
It's shakes me awake at night
Curiousity on soft toned finger tips
A darkest plum color
Like secret rose hips
A cursed tonic
Whispers in the dark wood ballroom
Serving drinks to those
Allergic to skin jacking cross spirits

I like feeling your warmth against me
Your face on my chest
everything is so fluid
with the way you move
Crash into me earthy and blue
your colors melting into mine
your kiss bubbly on my skin
I like to feel your smile when your lips are on mine
When you're around everything is so solid
inside this lucid dream
The touch of your finger tips in my skin
Is concrete
and your brewing eyes is just something you cant makeup
they're too unique

Your skin
warming like a fire
Ignites flames in me
when against my tongue
And if kissing every inch
of you was healing
I'd do it
I'd bathe you in sugar plum
and berry blue waters
Letting you savor every bit
and I'd watch it drip off of you ever so softly

You make my head spin
fluidly
like dancing tequila
A splash of
sea foam green
and minty tea
I could swim in your words
and never drown
because you always kept us afloat
Your ship was unsinkable
and it was stronger
than any other
Your mind has traveled farther than most
The experience you collected throughout the years
you were an epic tale in my eyes
A woven book
of summer kissed skin
It was something more than infatuation
and I craved to taste it

Not everyone will have a
palette
like your own
You crave new flavors
no one's ever heard of
The way those tangerine skies
just melt on your tongue
Cottony with golden hues,
it was your divine taste
in how you painted stories
The flavors,  spices and frothy words
made my lips tingle
Your hunger is what really kills me
You fill up on books ever night,
crisp waxy paper sticking to your
delicate fingers
The books pile high and you're still not full
Hunger is always a familiar
feeling
And the stacks of novels never seem to disappoint me with its height

Anxiety
feelin like raised rent
Don't work enough
for it to die down again
Just like a pill
hard to swallow
I don't talk anyone
no more
It's a sad pass time
but you gotta follow
I just want that one person
but he in his own world
I know it's hard
but sometimes you gotta be
your own girl

All they wanna hear about
Is your struggle
Rather your happiness
And compare theirs to yours

I want to start off by saying
you were the most
                               intriguing
                  soul I had ever met

the way your jaw moved
   when you were embarrassed
or irritated
your face would scrunch up
and you'd blink hard
                                   letting out a gasp of sharp but smooth laughter
And I liked when
                you'd think
Your eyes would flickr like
             a lit candle
and every time you spoke
                 I couldn't help but want to bite those lips
    Gently of course
                       I hated when you were angry
                My body melted to nothing when you were sad
   And it felt as if my whole body would crumble to pieces

                          when you just

wanted
             to
                 be
                      alone

I'd lay there in bed
Thinking of you staring up at your ceiling
             hoping your storm would blow over

and you were yourself again

And there were times where
all I wanted to do
was touch your face
but you wanted to touch
lace

Anyone else getting so
tired
of scrapping pennies
Meal stretchers
and cold with ripped
leggings
Fillin up on what was
suppose to be
last week's rent
Can't help not havin a real meal
since month 10
Sleepin on
Air mattress beds
Just tired

And at the attempt
of being normal
I was ever more
wild
than sane
I licked and gnashed my teeth
my hair a tease
nails dug straight into
self pity
Tearing it apart
piece by piece as if I were an
animal
and it were my prey
Leaving no trace of it behind
to claim

I think I've lost myself
too far left
down steep cliffs
and motherless

A flicker of the eye
I notice you watch her
walk by

The late night calls end
our tongues used less
no words escape
twisted up word scapes
sloppy letters
and torn pages

Yet again
I notice
the flicker of your eyes
Your hands no longer
touching mine
the want to leave
to breathe different air than me

I'm broken
lost and confused
I thought you were my muse

City of lost souls
swirl like dancing ashes on
the cold
concrete
Thumping of your feet
dance so freely

Look at me dangerously
with those mocha eyes
Still brewing
slow
steeping
you're hypnotizing
That daring cocoa butter stare
Sweet and deep with
secret bitter twists
Smokey and honey filled
you made my cup half full
on days it felt so empty
Sipping on your lips feels so
soul awakening

Honey dipped
you kissed me softly
smothered in honey suckle sweet
My favorite kind of tea
Broken in two
you're my glue
hold me right
and never let go❤

Ya know all I have is anger right
now
Got one trying to love me
but I can't right now
I don't have much to offer when I'm so broken down
anxious
Mixed drinks and myself spilled out on the pavement
Trying to collect what's left of me
broken up pieces I see you took what's left of me

Funny how some people
steppin on my laces
skippin spaces
underrated conversations
weak excuses
scribbles on the walls these days
left behind from ghost trippin
on the brownies
left out from the party
down the block
sorry
didn't mean to over do it
too much THC over used it
seeing doubles and triples
riples in the vortex loopin
my colors echo in the hallways
cant help but think bout
next time i get paid
get laid by a girl from third floor
story
with green hair and a name like
Corey
Sorry that my issues
seem so boring
tv screen blasting
and they're snoring

Feels like my life is draining away like water
sooner or later
the years fading away
farther
A spitting image?
Of mommy and daddys baby
wasting away greatly
the older, the more she crumbles
Her story nothing but a mumble
a flickr of light crosses the table
nothing like her love
had seemed so stable
a story
made for her
a fairy tale built to perfection
confection sugar coated sonets
seem to tangle
on her lips, a kiss like this
more dangerous than bliss
i wish a girl like her wasnt as complicated as this life wasting away
faded words on a page
as the years pass by and the tears do dry
Will she remember?
the aches the pains
the memory of fame

First you told the truth
told me straight girls just werent for you
so
I took his hand
gave him a sweet kiss
and we rolled in the sand
Said life never felt this great and the happiness began
daydreams  of us kissing
wedding bands and life plans of us out of the country
My mind on men
couldn't wait to escape but
there was a fault in our fate
a girl who wanted a taste of your luck
Mom thought she was great
and you start to eliminate your love for your man
said god hates gays
cant look at you with starry eyes anyways
people start to notice
A flick of an eye and tap on the shoulder
"Dont do that infront of my children"
they'll be confused as time rolls over
So i believed it
didnt know life would be this different
didn't know id forget that i was into different love interests

So then you started to lie
second time comes round
cherry boy you kissed just had to fly
out of town
said his parents abusive
doesnt raise no boys whos heart flutters for other men, excuses

It hurt
more then just a little
empty beer bottles start to pile the table
cell disabled
lies and cheating start to enable
the dishonesty he had for his lover
man made love for another
no amount of liquor could make them lie next to eachother

She heard it
him whispering soft words
of a males name
the screenshots of emails he sent
were not tame
"I love you" Spilled over the page
and she knew this wasnt a game
So she left that very next day

I wanna talk about experiences ive had
but im too young to understand
too young to have a plan
far too small to tell you stories
the aches, the pains, the glories
Ive had people make me crumble to my knees
release the pain and overdose
i was nothing there to see
Ive had someone tell me
Its all in my head
triple threat
brain dead
Sometimes i just wanna sleep
nothing to eat
nothing to be
unconscious in ya bed
Opposite of a day dream
Now I have someone who makes my knees weak
A shiver and tease
lips on mine
i was left starving
for you on me
The laughs, small talks and stories
I wanted nothing more
than our love to burst
like sunny mornings
Sometimes i just wanna fall asleep
with you right next to me
nothing drab or mean
nothing but the sound of us
breathing

Theres just some
who know you're in pain
and will spend
forever
waiting for you

And I'd invite him in
no matter how long we've gone
apart
His warmth spreads over me
smoother than any
sweet bubbly poison
And when he kisses me
its slow
taking time to trace me
inch by inch

And as much as i hurt
as much as it kills me
to remember
those who have hurt me
I cant help
but want him to take more
of me
To kiss every piece of me
hold me
and look at me lovingly
with his mocha eyes

Im just a little
too high tonight
to write
Wish my mind would just
settle down or take flight

And thats when i realized
I was losing myself
That part of me
that edulged in sunlight rays
Late night reads and
lazy days
I kissed out of passion
never boredom
and prefer heartbreak
over loneliness
Life had a meaning
written in leather binded
journals and sparkly red ink
It was soft to the touch
and smelled of lemony
citrus
It did not make a sound
Yet it had a voice so beautiful
it made your mind
crash like tidal waves
against your skull
My mind now is nothing
but decay
what it once was seemed
to never exist
not a sign left behind
no emptiness
as if it had never been filled
The nothingness now something
and it was numbing to feel
That want to feel
literally anything
was now a desire to feel nothing
like an empty tv screen
buzzing alone 4:35 at night

I want to look at you and know
you won't run on me

I want to be me as a whole
and splash in your wholesome too
To know that we are so full
we could make waterfalls

I want you to be there and tell me when my thunderstorms are just trickling rain on my window

I want to know that you can handle me and I can handle you
That you don't just put up with my rain
but learn to find beauty in it
To see my pain
and understand
And to know you hurt too

Funny how you cut me off
now you say you're
lonesome
Got no one to call up
and smoke some
Complaining you ain't loved
when you had one
Pushing me away
like I was the bad one
Playing these games
Honey it's all good

Everything's fuzzy and cloudy
Heads spinning
Drousy
The walls peeling
Eyes red
Throat bleeding
Its cottony skies
That keep me from breathing
My chest heavy
Cant stop from heaving
When I cant stop
All I do is drop
The words in my head
Dropping on the pavement

I regret the nights
I laid there in her bed
as she used me

Im not sure why
but i feel it coming

the way she looks at me
the want for me to be as far away
as possible
is burning beneath her
eye lids

The subtle hints
the anger
tears
cold blankets
and light weight meals

She doesn't want me here anymore

Those long days at work
of back pain and
the urge to take a break

Taking a seat at home
wishing my mind
would just sedate

She doesn't wany me anymore
i feel the hate
I dont feel happy here
i cry thinking about setting a foot in this place

Autumn colored day dreams
crash into me
Drink me slowly
like warm wine
wash me softly
your hands like the
cottony waves in the sky
kiss my skin
and leave behind
a starry night
Like smooth oils
paint me an imperfect
masterpiece

Cauliflower clouds

drip down my tinted blue

walls

leave behind a trickling

aurum river

so that i may lap up

Its shine

Bathe me

so that my burning skin

may be clean again

Free me

Sunflower stems ripping

through my bones

and teeth

****** fingers

dripping on the seems

Reminents of burnt edges

just cremate me


Sunflower petals

suffocate me

wring me dry

Soak up my melting

heart

Leave me here to

die


Sunflower girl

poison me tonight

take away the golden light

from the pearly sky

Lately the clouds
have been changing
their colors to
deathly grays

The air thicker than
swamp water
dripping down our
tar lined lungs

Our brains as brittle
as autumn leaves
crunching under your
zombified feet

My world has yet
to see light
Its skies no longer
full of gay colors

A funeral painted in my
eyelids
I mourn for the now
deceased beauty

I cant help but think
I'll ever be
good enough
My hands shake
and my heart races
faster than any
parading drummer

Seeing you strikes
fear in me
That feeling of knives
digging further into
my lungs

That need for showers
so hot my skin
tingles for pain

That terrifying feeling
I cant seem to shake
No grunge filled song could
hold me tighter than
tonight

Mister aslyum kissing my
ears lightly with
his words

Maybe I'll sleep tonight
if i let Johnny's music
flow over me like
honey

Those sheets
of insecurity
and shame
slipped off me
while you lay
starry eyed
at my naked chest
and as your hands
slip under the
covers
i later find
that there were
other art pieces
you gazed at
when i wasn't around