I like being really tired before going to sleep.
It feels good to fight one last thing before bed, even if that thing is me.

tomorrow.
five hours between a hundred strangers, writing for my life.
my finals are starting, my hair is falling out, my self harm worsens and my anxiety is reaching for the stars.
tomorrow.
trying to decipher the text in front of me, that is not only black ink but letters and words, even sentences.
I need to calm down.
how do I calm down?
I am burning, crying, screaming.
I am hiding silently in my bed, knowing my body - loving as it is - provides me with enough bacteria to cough. my burning throat matches my inability to talk, to think, to see.
tomorrow.
the hours are counted, my life is not ending.
why is it not ending?
do I need it to stop?

please make it stop.

Comes a point
Where no one will listen
No one will care
At that point it's just you
And the inner self

This is when you are fully conscious
Fully aware of the inner
Your final partner
Your everlasting listener
To help you step into the new world

Unfuck your *****
When the moment arrives you pounce on it
You weren't waiting for it
But when it arrives you know this is it
You unfuck your ****
Unroll a series of new memories
To replace the old ones

What is more important than love?
To realize it will **** you.

The songs we listened to on the beach
Remind me of you each time
I can't listen to them anymore without you
If we heard all the songs ever made together
I would have no music without you
Surely that would be my end

You imagined this for years
And now you are almost there
You can see that future ahead of you
You can see yourself doing great things
With the people you love
It's just right there
Just a few more steps

The strongest love is silent
But strong enough to avenge
After all,
how could you be a man
if you didn't avenge the ones you love?
You deserve shame and death if you let it go
Some things cannot be let go

You chose to live in the dark
You wanted to reach the bottom of the pit
You wanted to know what laid down there
You thought you would see light at the bottom
But a part of you was also ready to die there
And now you don't fear death
Now there is just you and the time that is left
And the wrongs to be righted

That song of ours
Pulls me out of reality
A feeling happy and sad the same time
A tear begins to roll
Holding in it the memory of that day
That day this song became ours
That day I realized
How much I love you and missed you
But only I know this
If I told anyone
I can't... no one can know
That this is our song