Look: the sky
How happy I am to be alive
To witness such a gorgeous view
These vibrant pink and purple hues

There’s music in the car and
Playing now it fits the scene so well
All this Heaven when life’s felt like Hell

Thank you, Universe

My heart: it swells

We tell others they may hunger and feast
But we don’t invite ourselves to the table
Because that’s not how invitations work
We learned

If breaking rules means we’ll displease
Then we simply are unable
We struggle with accepting love
Unless we think it has been earned.

I can't go to bed
With so many thoughts flooding my head
So I pick up my pretty notebook
Open it
****, it looks too nice to write in

So once again
Blank pages, full mind
Unclicking my pen
Left suspended in time

I want to tell you about how lonely I am
And about how scared

I want to tell you about how hard it is for me to find hope anywhere

I want to tell you about how weak I feel
Too weak to pull myself up on my own

But you’ll feel pressured to try to help me
And even God is not that strong

The Therapist turns to me and says “I’ll make space for you here”
But even the best of therapists sometimes reinforce our fears

If I am someone who neither God nor therapists can save
Then where am I to carry this sickness that hangs over me all day?

Where am I to take it, and to put it down?
It seems it's only in my sleep where peace can be found

So go on and
Call me lazy
Call me worthless if you must

I have no strength to argue
I’m exhausted; my soul's dust.

If I had words to soothe your pain

To make sunlight out of the rain

I’d write them, speak them so you receive

The remedy that you beseech

But words- it can be hard to know

Which of them can make gone our woes

And fumbling can make things worse

Sometimes silence is the best nurse

A listening ear and a still tongue

A loving presence to count on

But humans are complex and so

It helps to ask “How can I help?”

To meet others beyond ourselves

Letting them feel more heard and feel seen

When life seems like an awful dream

Life is boring, dull, and bleak
And I just want to go to sleep
The TV flickers
The room is grey
I cannot pray this pain away

Life’s full of joy
That I don’t know
It’s out of reach
My sorrow grows

I grieve the me
That was once warm
Not six feet under
Worn and torn

I’d seize the day
But it is night
Forever night
I thirst for light

When my body is hungry, I will eat
When my body is sleepy, I will sleep
When my body wants to dance, I will wiggle and shimmy and sway
When my body wants to use the restroom while I’m stuck in traffic, all the cars had best move out my way
When my body wants love, I’ll wrap my arms around my chest
And when my body is unsure, I will do my best