I have two faces, but I'm not two-faced.. just wait and I'll explain. Bipolar is my mental state.. in which I try to maintain. I'm either up or down, no in-between.. I have the highs and lows. Stressful situations weigh heavy on me.. my mind in need of repose. Black or white, no grey in sight.. not a happy medium to find. It's severe depression, or manic aggression.. or possibly both combined..

Kayla M

Darkness so dismal I can't find my way
I'm at a standstill, I'm forced to stay
No light to be found as I attempt to see
I cannot seem to escape the caliginous black that surrounds me
Will I ever find my way out
Will I find the light
Maybe I will just learn to adapt to this dreadful, tenebrous night

~Kayla M

Sleep evades me
The mind torments,
Replaying all the moments I should never have given to you
All the moments you never deserved.
This self-loathing makes me weary.

How could I have been this careless
Heart not survived such heavy rains
To throw itself recklessly
Into hurricanes
To throw caution to the wind
Despite everything I knew,
Reject all fears and trepidations
For you.

Sleep evades
And the mind torments
With how I let you see so much of me
The walls I reinforced with such conviction
Fell like they were built on sand,
Because I didn't see you coming
Because you seemed like a soft breeze
But the storm isn't any less ferocious
Just because it begins more gently
And you became everything you said you weren't
And everything I feared you'd be.

What happened to the promise last time
That this time
I'd save more me for me.
I hate that I battled this long and hard
To surrender to something
So unworthy.